Hospitality Isn’t a Gift. It’s Something More. + BOOK GIVEAWAY

This post kicks off our theme this month, “Practical (and Impractical) Hospitality.” Check back, comment, and/or follow along on social media to join the conversation! Plus, we’re giving away a free copy of Just Open the Door! Find more details at the bottom of this post.

By Ronne Rock | Twitter: @RonneRock

The kind Vicar smiled and asked who might like to host an evening of good food and great conversation, and sign-up sheets were placed on the table that serves as foyer and guest registry and whatever else is needed on any given Sunday. Church services in an elementary school cafeteria mean that communion is served each week amidst signs encouraging kids to be polite and clean up after themselves, and food pantry contributions are collected in the “nut-free zone” to the right of the front doors. There is no special lighting, no comfortable seat cushions for the lunch tables turned into pews—but there is a nice coffee bar for everyone who attends, set up by volunteers who are quick to offer a napkin and a smile, served up with a piece of homemade pumpkin bread.

Church in an elementary school means that anything that happens beyond Sunday mornings happens somewhere else. Most of the time, that somewhere else is in someone’s home.

Folks who know me would see it is as no surprise when I raised my hand without hesitation to host a dinner. The kitchen and the table are sacred places to me—so much so that I even have a section on my website devoted to #kitchentherapy. There are always lessons to be learned, there is always grace to be lavished and hope to shine brightly there.

Some folks say I have the spiritual gift of hospitality.

I beg to differ.

Because I don’t believe hospitality is a gift.

Oh, I think there are most certainly gifts that are divinely inspired – mine are exhortation, leadership, and wisdom (though I question the last one quite often when I can’t find my glasses while they’re sitting on my face or I freak out that my phone has gone missing while I’m talking to someone on it). But I believe hospitality isn’t one of those gifts for any of us. Rather, it’s a discipline to be practiced by each and every one of us. It’s sprinkled all throughout scripture – in Romans 12, we are told to be kind to everyone and extend hospitality to strangers, and in Hebrews 13, it says that our hospitality may even be brightening the day of angels. Hospitality goes far beyond hanging out with friends. It means caring for strangers, refugees, widows, orphans, wayfaring travelers in need of a little kindness.

It even means treating our enemies with kindness. Yes, even our enemies.

Hospitality isn’t something only some of us are divinely equipped to do. No, hospitality is at its essence a reflection of the personality of Jesus. Maybe that’s why 1 Peter 4:8-9 likens being hospitable with loving well – and we are encouraged to extend hospitality without complaining about it.

Jesus certainly didn’t have to be hospitable to the man He knew was plotting to end His life. And yet, He invited Judas to the same Passover meal as He did the rest of the disciples. He offered Judas the same bread, poured Judas the same wine, and even knelt to wash his feet.

Jesus didn’t have to be hospitable to the disciple who denied even knowing Him as He hung on a cross. And yet, He cooked a fabulous fish and biscuit breakfast for Peter and then told him that love was going to flow through his life like a river.

Hospitality is a potluck. It is a safe place to sleep, or some clean clothes to wear. Hospitality is a kind word or a genuine smile on a hard day, a little spare change to make the journey easier, a warrior prayer. Hospitality is at its best when it’s shared without discrimination, and it shows its muscles most when it is lavished on souls who don’t expect it.

Trust me, I’m still working on the whole hospitality thing. Laying down my life as a welcome mat for others grinds away the sharp barbs of control and smooths the rough edges of privilege and entitlement. Even the simple act of saying “yes” to a potluck is a lesson in the making, because it means I can’t force the outcome. And for a girl who stares down perfection and anxiety on a regular basis, simply trusting God to indeed work all things together for good (including a dinner filled with folks I don’t know and food I might not like) is a much-needed thing. Here’s to practicing hospitality over and over again.

About Ronne:

Ronne Rock weaves themes of transformative hope into everything she shares on page and stage. An award-winning marketing and communications executive in both the corporate and nonprofit sectors, she offers expertise about creative leadership with faith-based organizations. Ronne is a regular contributor to Orange and QARA, a digital publication that empowers 20-somethings to discover their True North. She now invests her time telling stories that change stories with Orphan Outreach, a ministry dedicated to serving orphans and vulnerable children in developing countries around the world. Ronne also loves to share personal stories about life, love, leadership, and a little #kitchentherapy. Her words are published in Everbloom: Stories of Deeply Rooted and Transformed Lives and the For You Love devotional series. When she’s not working in developing countries, you’ll find Ronne in the Texas Hill Country with her husband, Brad, and rescue mutt, Pearl. Their son and his family live in Arizona, which she has deemed is too far away. You can follow her on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or at her website.

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This month on Scraping Raisins we’re talking about practical and impractical hospitality. Be sure to follow along on my social media channels (buttons on top right of website) and subscribe to my newsletter to be updated on all the posts, plus links to thought-provoking articles from the web and a few books and podcasts.

I still have a few spots open this month, so email me at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com if you’re interested in guest posting! You can find writing guidelines here. I would need your submission by October 15th;-)

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In honor of this month’s theme, I’ll be giving away a copy of Just Open the Door: How One Invitation Can Change a Generation, by Jen Schmidt, to one Scraping Raisins reader! This book shares how to take the next steps in extending hospitality to others. To win:

1. Be sure you’re subscribed to my newsletter

2. Share this post on one of your social media outlets (Twitter, Facebook or Instagram) and tag me (find me as either “Leslie Verner” or “Scraping Raisins”).

3. If you tag friends in your share, I’ll enter you once more for each friend you tag.

I’ll be keeping track on my trusty post-it note by my computer and I’ll notify the winner on October 31st! 😉

Sign up for the (occasional) Mid-month Digest and the (loosely) “end of the month” Secret Newsletter for Scraping Raisins Here:

*this post includes Amazon affiliate links

Keep Your Eyes Open & Your Easter Napkins Close at Hand {guest post}

By Kelly Simonsen | Instagram

Keep Your Eyes Open

“Cause if you never leave home, never let go
You’ll never make it to the great unknown till you
Keep your eyes open, my love” – NEEDTOBREATHE

The maxi taxi rolls to a stop at this dilapidated bus station
and I am more than ready to leave its sweltering interior.
After riding for ten hours with the windows firmly shut
my lungs beg for fresh air.

Our first smell in this new place
is the customary Eastern European cigarette smoke,
lingering on clothing,
swirling through the air,
orienting us to this unfamiliar world.

A group of gangly teenage boys stare at us,
the four obviously American girls
with their gigantic bags of luggage
and casual, foreign attire.

Our first order of business is locating a bathroom.
Between paying for our pink square of toilet paper
and experiencing the glory of the squatty potty
our bathroom expedition is a prime example
of full-immersion baptism into the culture.

Our guide leads us inside the ramshackle station
and I notice a massive mural on the wall.
He says it’s a remnant of Soviet propaganda,
and my history-loving brain is intrigued by
the mosaic of geometric shapes
delineating the communist view of society.

The interior of the station makes me feel uneasy
but the warmth of our hosts eases my feelings of trepidation.
They greet us with huge smiles and Moldovan chocolate,
giving us an opportunity to practice saying mulțumesc
and accept their radical hospitality.

And Your Easter Napkins Close At Hand

We transition from the station to the home of Magda,
our feisty Romanian host,
who moved to Moldova in pursuit of her calling
to work with marginalized youth.

The entrance to the house is charming
with a canopy of vines,
a freestanding porch swing,
and some scattered toys belonging to the neighbors’ kid.

On our first night,
and in every moment that follows,
Magda is overwhelmingly welcoming!

But I am so nervous.

It’s my second time overseas,
and my first time experiencing a homestay.
Nineteen-year-old me doesn’t know how to relax and be
in a space so radically unfamiliar.

Magda makes spaghetti for us
(to this day the best I’ve ever tasted)
and as we sit down to eat, she passes out napkins bearing the phrase
“Paște Fericit!”

She looks at us
and slyly,
in a manner we would soon recognize as Magda’s humor peeking through,
remarks, “it means
Welcome Girls!”

Our Romanian-speaking American friend bursts out laughing,
explaining that the napkins were leftovers
from the Easter celebration of six weeks prior
and as such, fittingly say,
“Happy Easter!”

The laughter cuts through my anxiety,
and here I sit, four years later,
remembering.

I spent one week with Magda which,
in the scope of meaningful human interaction,
is a mere blip on the radar.

And yet, her kindness,
and spunk,
and gracious welcome of a scared American college student remains with me
and inspires me to go and do likewise.

Maybe I’ll never again see that Chinese international student
who I picked up from the airport and settled into her dorm room.

But maybe,
someday,
years down the road
she’ll write a poem about my welcome.

Or even better,
she’ll invite the visiting scholar from Rwanda
to sit at her dinner table.

Because hospitality is a give-and-receive dance,
transcending our natural boundary lines
with laughter and food and the recognition
that maybe the best thing we could possibly say
in this age of discord is
“Come on in!”

About Kelly:

Kelly Simonsen is a cross-cultural friendship builder, INFJ/Enneagram 4, lover of people, music connoisseur, creative cook, wordsmith, and world traveler with roots in the Pacific Northwest who is learning to live well with chronic pain and exploring how her passions and visions can become realities in her life. However, at the heart of it all, she’s a woman who is learning that the core of her identity is the beloved of God, and that is enough. She writes at learningtoloveagainblog.wordpress.com, and can be found on social media on Instagram @kellysimonsen and on Twitter @kel_michelle_ .

BOOK GIVEAWAY–ENDS JULY 31st!

We are giving away a copy of All the Colors We Will See: Reflections on Barriers, Brokenness, and Finding Our Way, so visit my Instagram or Facebook post and tag up to four friends and you’ll be entered one time per friend that you tag! Giveaway ends Tuesday, July 31st, at midnight (MT). Only U.S. residents, please! (and no bots….)

 

 

 

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Our theme this month is “Hospitality Around the World.” Email me at scrapingraisins @ gmail (dot) com if you are interested in guest posting. Guest posts should be between 500 and 900 words. Be sure to include a headshot and bio. The theme for August is “Homelessness, Refugees & the Stranger,” so send me a post for that, too, if you have a good idea!

And if you’re not a writer, be sure to follow me on social media (links in upper right) to keep up with the latest blog post or sign up for my newsletter below for links to thought-provoking articles, a digest of blog posts, and a few things I’m into these days! xo

Sign up for the (occasional) Mid-month Digest and the (loosely) “end of the month” Secret Newsletter for Scraping Raisins Here:

By Most Country’s Standards, I’m a Terrible Host

I always forget the coats. Growing up in Florida, we left on our flip flops, threw our bags on the hallway floor, and made a B-line for the cooler full of ice-cold soda. I haven’t lived in the south for 20 years, but I still forget to take people’s winter coats at the door. They stand there with them awkwardly draped over their arm, or else pile them in a heap on the living room floor.

I’m a better summer host. That way I can lock the doors and usher guests directly to the backyard through the side gate, then pray no one has to use the bathroom. Yards are forgiving of drips and spills and don’t require hours of cleaning before the guests arrive.

But what I’m learning (and what I’m writing a book about) is about how really, no one cares how good of a host you are at all. Mostly, they care to be invited. People want to be seen, heard, and included. They just want to be asked.

We recently had an Indian family live with us for a month. The parents of our grad student renter, they had never been on an airplane or left India before. We were gone for two weeks, but while we were home, I constantly felt like a failure as a host. We slept and ate at different times; they tinkered around in the kitchen as we brushed our teeth to go to bed. I worried about my raucous children being too loud, and they worried they were in my way in the kitchen.

After they had been with us for about a week, I decided to ask them along on one of our outings. “I’m taking the kids to a nature area to go on a walk–do you want to come along?”

And the next day, “We’re heading downtown so the kids can play in the fountain–do you want to join us?”

They said yes.

As a survival-mode mom with three kids at home, age five and under, I couldn’t make them the elaborate meals I knew they would be making for me were I a visitor in their home, but I could do one thing: I could invite them along in what we were already doing.

I once read a book called Family on Mission. The gist was that we do not need to have a million separate ministries or service projects to live out our calling to love God and love our neighbor in the world. Instead of burning ourselves out, we are better off inviting people along on the adventures we are already having, asking them to join us in our right-now lives instead of waiting until we have a surplus of time.

Instead of feeling like we need to divide ourselves to hand a fragment to every person we know, we do our thing, and invite others along for the ride.

This applies so well to hospitality. People are not waiting for us to get our act together and wow them with our kitchen wizardry. Instead, they just want to be asked.

People want to be invited.

Do you cook dinner? Why not invite a neighbor to join you? Are you going to the park? Ask another family to come along. Do you enjoy playing board games? Find another family that likes them, too.

I’m certainly not an expert, but I am learning the art of simple hospitality. What matters most is not the stuff, the plans or even the food, what matters is the people.

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Our next theme this month is “Hospitality Around the World.” Follow along on social media (links in upper right) to keep up with the latest blog post or sign up for my newsletter below for links to thought-provoking articles, a digest of blog posts, and a few things I’m into these days! Email me at scrapingraisins @ gmail (dot) com if you are interested in guest posting. Guest posts should be between 500 and 900 words. Be sure to include a headshot and bio. Personal stories work best!

Sign up for the (occasional) Mid-month Digest and the (loosely) “end of the month” Secret Newsletter for Scraping Raisins Here:

By Most Country’s Standards, I’m a Terrible Host

Subscribe to my monthly-ish newsletter and I’ll send you the first chapter of my book Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness for FREE!

Welcome to Scraping Raisins!