Category: motherhood

Sitting on the couch, the sun slants in the windows as I sip coffee and half-heartedly attempt to read my Bible.  My one-year-old daughter toddles over to me, her arms overflowing with “stuff.”  One at a time, she hands me a train, a purple rubber band, a board book, a sippie cup, an old broken cell phone and her blanket.  Finally, she raises her tiny arms and waits for me to lift her up.

Lately, as I’ve been mulling over the subject of soul rest, this scene seems to be God’s message to me during this chapter of my life as a mother of two teeny children:

Give me everything you’re carrying.  
And then let me carry you.

Before I launch into this series, which I hope will be helpful on a very practical level, I need to ask you some personal questions.

What are you carrying around with you? 

Before we can even hope to have the kind of soul rest we long for, we need to unload.  Here are some ways we can do that.

1. Confess

As an evangelical, the churches and groups I associate with tend to focus more on grace and less on spiritual disciplines, so I was surprised when I asked my Catholic friend how she finds soul rest and one of her ways was through confession.  Here is what she said:

“I know this is very Catholic, but experiencing the Sacrament of Reconciliation (confession) always lifts a huge weight off my shoulders. I try to go every month but don’t usually meet that goal. The act of someone speaking in the name of Jesus and saying that my sins are washed away is always a hugely emotional moment and is in its own way incredibly restful. I think the restfulness comes from experiencing tangibly that it is God’s grace that covers my sins, and that my failures are gone. They do not define who I am from now on. And although I walk out of the confessional with the firm intention of not repeating my sins, I will fail again. But I am not steeped in depressing, burdening history. Soul rest at its finest!”

The film, The Mission, has a powerful scene where mercenary and murderer (played by Robert De Niro) does penance for his crimes by carrying his armor and weapons in a bag strapped to his back for many miles.  Filthy, he struggles with the weight of his burden up a hill until he is cut free by a Jesuit priest.  Released from the burdens he has carried, he weeps in the arms of the priest.

We cannot experience true soul rest until we are freed from the weight of our failures, guilt, regret, and shame.  

Audibly speaking these aloud or writing them down and then burning or burying them are physical ways we can express our confession.  Taking advantage of the opportunity of reflection during communion in church is also a good time to ask God to convict us of anything we are carrying that we don’t need to be.  Jesus has paid the price for our freedom and only He has the ability to cut away our heavy burdens.

When is the last time you confessed your sins to Him? 

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).

2.  Give Him Everything Else

But even after we hand our heavy sins to God, we are still not empty-handed.  God wants more.  He wants our hopes, dreams, longings, desires, will, anxieties, fears, goals, plans, careers, spouses, children, parents, friends, health and even our life. 

I have so much more respect for people who choose not to follow Christ because they know deep down in their soul that following Him will cost them everything. 

“I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me.  The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me” (Gal. 2:20).

God wants it all–the good, the bad, the ugly, the worries that keep us up at night and the fears that threaten to paralyze us.
 
Is there anything you’re holding back from Him?

3. Let Yourself Be Loved by God

In Jesus’ final hours with His disciples, He washed their feet and ate with them.  The disciple John, called “the one whom Jesus loved,” sat next to Jesus and is described as “leaning on His breast” (Jn. 13:23).

In the Western church, our “Christianeze” for drawing closer to Christ has been to say we are going to “sit at the feet of Jesus,” as Mary did in Luke 10:39.   

But why don’t we ever say we are going to “lean on the breast of Jesus”? 

I think we clutch onto the image of sitting at Jesus’ feet because it fits in more with western culture and because we like our personal space–even with Jesus.  But when I think of my Chinese students all sitting on each other’s laps and holding hands with the same gender friends, I wonder if they ever talk about their relationship with Christ and say they want to lay on His chest?

I love the intimacy of this picture.  If we are leaning on Jesus’ chest, we hear Him even when He whispers and can have no doubt that He is near because we are touching Him.

In order to experience soul rest, we need to allow ourselves to be loved by God–and that means we must give up our personal space and allow ourselves to be held.  

Just as my daughter handed me her bundle, we must give God the burden of our sins, offer Him our fears, hopes and dreams and allow Him to carry us, our heads on His breast, if we want to begin experiencing soul rest.    

I realize that all of this sounds pretty abstract and you may be thinking some easier said than done thoughts (and believe me, I am too).  But personally, I am going to start with an honest conversation with God.  

“Come to me, all you who are weary and heavy laden and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart.  And you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light”  (Mat. 11:28-29).

“He tends His flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in His arms and carries them close to His heart; He gently leads those that have young” (Is. 40:11).

A day after writing this, I “happened” to hear this song on the radio, by Casting Crowns.  If you can, take a few minutes and listen.  Here are the lyrics:

What are you carrying?  Are you allowing God to carry you?

Check out the other posts in this series:

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks
       Day 3: Permission for Self Care
       Day 4: Ordinary Moments
       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times
       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat
       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Linking up with Thought Provoking Thursday and Velvet Ashes