minimalism

November 19, 2019November 19, 2019

How to Have a Digital Detox

I’m addicted.

No, I’m not addicted to alcohol, porn, drugs, or drugs. I’m addicted to my Smartphone. It’s been awhile now. I even wrote about it nearly two years ago in an article for SheLoves Magazine called It’s Time to Hide My Hashtags. At the time, I was horrified to discover that I unlocked my phone over a hundred times a day and spent two hours or more a day (on average) on my phone. Sounds ridiculous, but that’s actually average for most Smartphone users. (The fact that we app and Smartphone owners are called “users” is so telling …).

I’ve asked in Facebook groups, on Twitter, and among my real life friends, trying to figure out the magic formula to yank myself out of the Smartphone use compulsion. I started sleeping with my phone plugged in downstairs, deleted apps from my phone, got my husband to block those apps and websites on my internet browser (only he has the password), but I always make up excuses to convince him to let me creep back in the gate. Eventually I find myself right back where I started: mindlessly swiping and scrolling away precious minutes of my life.

Nothing has worked.

So coming across a book called Digital Minimalism felt serendipitous to me. I’m desperate for change. Desperate enough to call it quits on my Smartphone and social media for the whole month of December and maybe even beyond.

Cal Newport sold me within thirty pages of his book, citing all the ways Smartphones have been developed to keep us glued to our screens for one simple reason: it makes more money. He talks about the dopamine hits we receive with each “like,” how one developer called the Smartphone a “slot machine,” and others admitted developers exploit our basic human need for social approval.

Bill Maher joked that the App Store was coming for our soul. Newport writes, “As revealed by whistle blowers and researchers … these technologies are in many cases specifically designed to trigger this addictive behavior. Compulsive use, in this context, is not the result of a character flaw, but instead the realization of a massively profitable business plan. We didn’t sign up for the digital lives we now lead. They were instead, to a large extent, crafted in boardrooms to serve the interests of a select group of technology investors” (p. 24).

Scary.

So while I’ve taken a few measures and gone a week without my Smartphone before, I’ve never done an entire month. December seems like the perfect time to do a digital detox so I can start out 2020 with a clear head and greater focus (I’m also re-reading Essentialism, which is perfect for this time of year. Yes, Enneagram 3 here …)

I wondered if any of you would like to join me in the challenge?

Here’s what I’m thinking for the Great December Digital Detox of 2019 (which Newport calls “digital decluttering.” He says, “It’s a mistake to think of the digital declutter as only a detox experience. The goal is not to simply give yourself a break from technology, but to instead spark a permanent transformation of your digital life” p. 70.)

Newport recommends we:

Define our technology rules and operating instructions (any exceptions to the rules).
Take a 30-day break (ours will be 31 days).
Reintroduce technology. (This all reminds me of the Whole 30 diet…) To do this, ask yourself: a) “Does this technology directly support something that I deeply value—not just offer a benefit?” p. 75. b) Is this the best way to use technology to serve this value? c) How and when will I use it?

Defining My Technology Rules

(This is what I’ve worked out for myself, but you may want to tweak it for yourself)

NON-NEGOTIABLE:

Clear off all the apps from my phone that I don’t absolutely need (yes, that means Instagram..). Continue to use the app Block Site that will block apps and even my internet browser. Only my husband knows the password. I’m essentially “dumbing down” my phone to only text, make calls, use GPS, and have any other business-related apps.

Block social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest) on my computer. I think Block Site will also work for this. (I’ve also heard good things about Freedom, but I think you need to pay for that one.) Perhaps I’ll set up my private messages so that people get an “out of office” sort of message.

NEGOTIABLE:

News. Newport suggests just checking a curated list of articles like allsides.com or listening to a news round-up podcast like Up First by NPR (13 or 14 minutes)

Email. I can’t not check email, but I probably don’t need to check it twenty-eight times a day. I need to come up with specific times of day I will check email—probably morning, noonish, and once in the evening.

Podcasts, music, audio books. One of Newport’s chapters is about solitude and how some of the most important ideas are borne out of great swaths of time and silence to reflect (his other book Deep Work goes into greater detail about this). I tend to fill every quiet moment with someone else’s ideas, so I think I’ll take the month off of podcasts and audio books (or think of specific situations when I can listen—like when I’m cleaning toilets or something). Not sure yet about music since I do enjoy Christmas music … need some parameters for this.

Texting, Voxer, What’s App, Marco Polo, Snapchat and Facebook Messenger. Newport isn’t a fan of these because it means we’re on call at all times. He mentioned a service where you can consolidate your text messages and just check them once or twice a day. I think I’ll minimize down to texting and calling only during the month.

Camera. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing I probably don’t need to take 100 pictures a day that I never use for any good purpose. I still have a point-and-shoot camera, so I may just use that for the month and see what happens.

T.V. This was more of a distraction for me when I was single and living alone and would binge-watch Alias until 3 am. Now that I’m married with small children, I’m lucky if I watch one 42-minute show a week with my husband—and that’s mainly just so we can fold clothes. I’ll keep this (plus I’ll want to watch some Christmas movies).

Leisure Time

(What’s that?) Newport says we need to enter the month with a plan for how we’ll fill the extra time we find ourselves with. I hope to read more, play more, and talk to actual people instead of just sending messages across oceans and states. It might also be a good time to do some Advent reading, spend more time praying, and go on more walks.

That’s my plan. The book Digital Minimalism has a ton more ideas on how to actually do this, so I recommend reading or listening to it in advance!

I’ve started detoxing a bit and am already feeling less anxious and more peaceful. It’s definitely time to do this.

Join me? If you want to, send me an email at scraping raisins @ gmail (dot) com to let me know you’re in for the Great December Digital Detox of 2019.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links

February 9, 2018

It’s Time to Hide My Hashtags {for SheLoves Magazine}

Where does the time go? Mostly, my smartphone steals mine. Months ago, I downloaded a simple app to put limits on the time I spend on my phone. I used it for a week, and then gave up. What I didn’t realize was that the app continued tracking my phone usage—for months. When I finally opened it again and saw the stats, I felt queasy.

I unlock my screen 100-150 times a day. On average, I spend two hours a day on my phone. That’s 14 hours a week, 56 hours a month, and 672 hours a year. That is 28 full days of life, or 40 days if you factor in sleeping 7 hours a night.

I surrender 40 days a year to my smartphone.

As an extrovert, I used to feel if I didn’t tell someone about a thought or experience I had, it was as if it never happened. Now, if it is not documented electronically, it’s as if it didn’t happen.

Some jobs—like being a writer—require us to “build a platform.” But is this a pitfall? Maybe it’s not as much of a win as it seems—like the checkout clerk who tells you, “You saved $30 today!” when you have to spend $150 if you want to “save.” What is the cost of social media and smartphone use? We forfeit time alone, time with friends and family, time to observe life, and time with God, just to gain three followers, 40 likes, and 6 comments.

What if in my frenzy to post small slips of joy, wonder or beauty, I’m actually missing them?

Sometimes I hide in the bathroom, pretending to shower, when really I’m posting on Instagram. I squander minutes checking my email, scrolling through Facebook, tapping in and out of Facebook groups, feasting on Instagram eye candy, and clicking on links listed on Twitter. I document every book read, every sweet moment with my children, every inky black tree silhouetted on a salmon sky.

I try not to make my life look too perfect, too beautiful or too interesting. I don’t take pictures of my food. Ninety-nine percent of the images on my phone never meet a stranger on the internet. I tell myself I’m not addicted. I can quit. I could not check my phone all day—if I wanted to.

But the other day I had to volunteer in my son’s class and leave my phone in the closet for two hours and I felt genuine anxiety. Like a junkie. If there were such a thing as smartphone rehab, I would check myself in immediately. I’m writing from the middle of my story, but if I’m describing you, too, then pull up a chair and let’s brainstorm treatment together…

Continue reading at SheLoves

June 25, 2016

Overcoming Smartphone Addiction

Technology is not the devil, but we don’t need to allow it to be our god, either.

A monarch butterfly sailed on the wind as I sat waiting for my latte at an open-air coffee shop in San Diego. I watched it glide, dip and twirl around the men and women busily setting up tables and canopies for a weekly farmers’ market. Suddenly, I realized that I wouldn’t have noticed this spectacular solo performance just a week ago. Nose-down, scrolling through any number of messages, alerts and notifications on my phone, I would have missed this simple dance on the wind.

The Phone Fast

My husband and I recently took a one week vacation without kids to California to remember each other and ourselves after four years of having babies and before number three’s arrival in a few months. Before leaving for our trip, I tentatively decided that I would bring my phone, but leave it off in my suitcase and just let my husband check my texts and calls every evening. I did have a laptop with me, so I checked email and other social media once or twice a day, but I didn’t have access to the Internet when we were out and about since the laptop stayed back at the cottage.

I was nervous about unplugging. What if I missed something important? How would I be able to post pictures on Facebook immediately? How would I check the weather? What would I do if I needed to wait somewhere with nothing to do?

But after the first morning of my detox, instead of withdrawal, I felt…free. I’ve known for a while now that my phone makes me feel shackled and that it has become an addiction, but I haven’t been sure how to conquer the blessing-turned-curse. After a week of doing without, here are a few changes I’ve made to ensure that I am the boss of my Smartphone instead of my technology lording over me.

3 Ways to Overcome Smartphone Addiction:

1. Sleep with your spouse, not with your phone.

A few weeks ago, I spent my first precious thirty minutes before my children woke up just lying in bed checking Facebook. The night before, I had been on social media in bed long after my husband had fallen asleep. It was then that I knew I needed help. So I started charging my phone at night downstairs in the kitchen instead in our room. I bought a cheap travel alarm clock to replace my phone’s one true reason to even earn a spot in our bedroom. It has been a simple, yet liberating change that is helping me to sleep better at night.

2. Declutter the apps on your phone.

The day we got back from San Diego, I did a bit of “life-changing magic” and tidied up the apps on my phone. Though they “sparked joy,” they were unnecessary if I could just as easily check them on the computer, where I could be in better control of the time I spent on them. I nervously deleted Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, email and even the weather app.

How many times a day do you “quickly” check the weather on your phone and ten minutes later you forget why you even turned on your phone in the first place? That was me. I can check the weather just as easily on my computer in the morning just the way I always did in pre-Smartphone days.

So now, my phone is for texting, taking pictures, reading books, making calls, checking the internet, GPS and listening to music or podcasts.

(A less drastic solution would also be to turn off all notifications for social media or hiding the icons–but I’m sneaky, so that never worked for me.)

3. Start wearing a watch again.

Since my phone has become a permanent fixture on my body, I haven’t needed to wear a wristwatch anymore. But just as the weather app can be a seductive Siren, innocently “checking the time” can steal your precious attention away when you feel you suddenly must find out what those social media notifications could be. And again, twenty minutes later, you return to reality and try and remember why you were looking at your phone in the first place (“Oh yeah—what time is it?”).

~~~

Two Weeks Later

It’s been two weeks since I stripped my phone of its many roles, but so far the change has been glorious. I am so much less tempted to use it to fill any downtime in my day because there isn’t much on there to lure me away anyway. There have been a few times when I’ve craved Facebook and when I open up my phone, I end up clicking on the Kindle app that is now in its place and reading a book instead.

Think of it like ridding your home of junk food and filling it with fruit instead so that when you crave a snack, you’re forced to eat an apple. Kindle for Facebook. It’s rough at first, but then your body starts appreciating the fact that you’re feeding it with substance instead of empty calories and you start to LIKE those apples. I am certainly spending more time reading now that I don’t fall down the Twitter or Facebook rabbit hole.

But more than anything, the greatest aspect of having more limits in place is that I’m forced to pay attention to the world around me again.

On the fourth day of our vacation, I plopped my 27-week-preg-body down on a bench outside of a small museum in a historic town we were exploring, letting my husband continue reading every word of every informational sign as he likes to do. The only place to sit was next to an elderly lady who was people-watching. I joined her and we noticed the huge, gorgeous tree stretching across the lawn.

We made small talk and admired the gaggle of middle-aged Chinese ladies dressed in eclectic and brightly colored clothing, each posing elaborately in front of an old courthouse before replacing their oversized straw hats and continuing on, their high heels clicking on the sidewalk. And once again, I reflected on the fact that I normally would have missed all of this. Before the phone fast, my first instinct would have been to pull out my phone while I waited for my husband to return.

Absorbed in the lives of others on social media, perhaps I would have even forgotten to live my own life. I would have missed the chance to delight in the wonder all around me: watching a butterfly ballet, marveling with the elderly and admiring the hilarity in the scope of humanity.

I know I’m not the only one who struggles with this addiction. I don’t think we need to be radical and throw away our phones or be overly idealistic about the days of before we had all “this technology.” Technology is not the devil, but we don’t need to allow it to be our god, either. Are you ruling your phone or is your phone ruling you? What practical steps can you take to ensure that your phone is a tool of freedom and not a chain of bondage in your life?

Do you have any other ideas on how to break free from Smartphone addictions? I’d love to hear them in the comments!

~~~

Subscribe to Scraping Raisins by email and/or follow me on Twitter and Facebook. I’d love to get to know you better! (See, I’m still on social media–just not on my phone;-) )

Related Posts:

21 Ways to Live Counter-culturally

A Book for the Budding Minimalist {The More of Less}

KonMari Krazy {The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up}

Previous Post: A Writer’s Prayer

Next Post: Potty Training a Strong-Willed Child

June 20, 2016March 5, 2018

A Book for the Budding Minimalist {The More of Less}

A Book for the Budding Minimalist {A Review of The More of Less by Joshua Becker}

Usually the concept of “minimalism” evokes images of eliminating our creature comforts, meditating in bare white rooms or downsizing to a tiny home in Montana. But in The More of Less, author and blogger, Joshua Becker, sets out to convince us of the paradox that living a minimalist lifestyle will not strip away, but actually enhance the life we were meant to live.

This book is a practical how-to book for the minimalist novice looking to explore the benefits of a simpler lifestyle. As I already agreed with Becker’s concepts of minimalism at the outset, I didn’t need a lot of convincing and personally found the first half of the book to be purely common sense. But the second half of the book offered so much practical advice on how to actually incorporate minimalist ideas into the average American’s life that I found it to be a gem in the midst of so many books now available on this current trend.

Becker humbly incorporates the wisdom of other popular minimalist gurus in his discussion and his bibliography offers a wide range of resources for those looking to do a more in depth exploration of minimalism.

Becker’s clear and relatable writing style gives readers the “guy next door” impression that might empower middle class Americans to feel that they, too, might be able to make some simple changes to their life of excess.

While other currently popular books on minimalism focus on decluttering or organizing possessions, Becker makes a wider sweep and considers how being more intentional about the number of our kitchen utensils, clothes or cars also impacts our family, friends, goals and aspirations to make a difference in the world.

Most other resources about minimalism today focus on the individual benefits to self and the ways we will have happier lives as we purge our possessions, but Becker reveals how having more time and money will enable us to help others through volunteering, giving and generally just having more time for people. Becker points out that our choices to intentionally own less will free up our time and finances so that we can be a blessing to others. This—not just personal happiness—is what he describes as the paradox of “the more of less.” He says, “It’s about having a smaller material lifestyle so you can experience a bigger life, full of passion and purpose. Own less to live more” (212).

If you are looking to live a more counter-cultural lifestyle and transition from feeling controlled to being in control of your possessions, finances and time, then this book is for you.

~~~

I received a free copy of this book from Blogging for Books in exchange for writing this honest review.

**This post contains Amazon Affiliate Links

21 Ways to Live Counter-Culturally

Last Post: Serving Single in China

Linking up with Literacy Musing Mondays

Enter your email address:

Delivered by FeedBurner