Category: family

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Homeschooling Resources that Invite Freedom & Peace (for those of us who never-EVER-planned to homeschool)

Although I never wanted to homeschool, I used to follow homeschooling moms on Instagram. I mostly ogled over the unschooling types who raise their babies in the deep of the woods or on the salt of the sea. Their children sketched downy woodpeckers or lupine wildflowers under the shade of a cottonwood or banyan tree. “Why don’t you just unfollow them?” my husband finally said one night before bed as I showed him yet another post displaying all I WASN’T doing as a mom. It was a beautiful life, it just couldn’t represent my kids or my life. I unfollowed those accounts and felt lighter and more free to be who we are: a family who lives an ordinary life in a mid-sized city with chain-link fence around our modest backyard.

Back in May, my friend in Denver told me she had decided to homeschool. The thought had never occurred to me. I’m a former public school teacher and I adore our neighborhood public school. But since my number one con on my pro/con list was “I don’t want to,” I decided I should push past wants and consider homeschooling as an option. The list of pros seemed lengthy–flexibility, consistency in a wonky Covid world, the ability to tailor lessons to my kids, etc, but paper and lists wouldn’t change my personality and it certainly wouldn’t change the personality of my strong-willed children. I mean, I can’t even get them to put their shoes on, why would I expect them to learn anything from me?

But Time has a way of kneading our desires; and giving that dough time to rest helped me adapt and shift my expectations of life–not as it should be, but life as it is. And life right now is complicated. Long story short: we decided to homeschool.

As a researcher and resource-collector, I tried to listen to many different podcasts about homeschooling. I confess many led to groans and eye-rolls on my part. Some homeschoolers can come across as having a superiority complex with a fear of public schools. But I found some simple resources that led to peace and freedom. All the resources I’m sharing here represent those types of resources.

Here’s my philosophy of education in a nutshell: Children are naturally curious. They want to learn. If we chase their curiosity (and ours), find a good math curriculum, read LOTS of good books, and talk about those books, we will educate our children well. This feels very do-able to me.

My children are in pre-k, kindergarten, and second grade, although many of these resources will help children of other grades. I’ve taught 4th-8th grade and have my teaching certificate in K-9, so I do have experience teaching–just not these ages and not my own children. Here’s what I’ve discovered so far:

Some Freeing Podcasts for the Reluctant Homeschooler:

Brave Writer Podcast: 55 Things I Did Not Do as a Homeschooler, 61 Things I Did RIGHT in My Homeschool, Morning Routines that Support Your Homeschool and Family, One Thing Principle

Homeschool Sisters Podcast: You Don’t Have to Do It All: Getting Started with Homeschooling

Read Aloud Revival: 10 Homeschooling Mistakes I’ve Made (so you can avoid them)

A Few Books to Inspire Peace:

Free to Learn: Why Unleashing the Instinct to Play Will Make Our Children Happier, More Self-Reliant, and Better Students for Life by Peter Gray

Read Aloud Handbook by Jim Trelease

Teaching from Rest: A Homeschoolers Guide to Unshakable Peace by Sarah Mackenzie

Basic Curriculum I’m Cobbling Together (apparently this is called “hack-schooling”):

The Routine: I plan to follow a routine, not a schedule, as Julie Bogart talks about, although I did buy this teacher planner for myself and really love planning. Adam will take the kids the first hour for science and social studies while I work on my own writing projects in the morning. After we transition from dad to mom, I’ll start them out with snack and “table time” where we’ll do a read aloud and work on reading, writing and math. After that we’ll do lunch, more read aloud, quiet reading time, then art, other projects, watch movies, go to the library, play games, or have time for free play. I’m hoping we can squeeze in some camping trips and study about the places we visit. I want to follow curiosity like Alice followed the white rabbit (guess what we’re reading aloud right now…?).

Math:

Math Mammoth ($38 total for two workbooks—an extra $9 of more online resources) for my 2nd grader–came highly recommended in a homeschooling Facebook group I joined
Math Games: Sum Swamp, Monopoly, others; mostly do games and play with K and pre-schooler
Supplement with Khan Academy (free online)

Language Arts:

For my non-readers:
Phonics Pathways
Erasable books to practice writing numbers and letters
Unicorn Handwriting book
Leap Frog: Letter Factory DVD
Phonics flashcards I found at a thrift store

Read-Alouds: I plan to read aloud a variety of poetry, fiction, and non-fiction and discuss, being sure to touch on plot, characters, parts of speech, devices like alliteration, metaphor, simile, etc. We already do this right after lunch and before bed, but instead of always having them select the books, I’ll read aloud a selection of my own.

Journals: We’ll use these journals (pictured above) to interact with and reflect on the things we’re learning and reading. I’ll just have my four-year-old draw a picture, and I’ll have my kindergartner dictate to me until she can write for herself. I’ve heard great things about The Writing Revolution–it’s currently in my cart.

Copy Work: I may also try having them do “copy work,” in these journals and have them select some of their own quotes, dialogue, or passages to copy. This blog post from The Unlikely Homeschool explains copy work well.

Quiet Reading Time (aka “D.E.A.R.” or “S.S.R.”): We’ll continue our quiet reading time after lunch each day, which we’ve been doing for the past few months. The kids grab books and read (or look at pictures if they can’t read yet) for thirty minutes. They earn a sticker and after five stickers they get to pick something from the treasure box (snacks and trinkets I bought at the dollar store). Dollar Tree sells simple sticker charts with stickers, FYI.

Poetry Tea Time: I’ll try out doing a weekly Poetry Tea Time, which Julie Bogart discusses in this podcast. Basically you just light a candle, pull out some treats and put out a bunch of poetry books. The kids select poems they want to read aloud.

Science & Social Studies:

Core Knowledge curriculum is available for free download online, so I’ll use that and the core standards as a guide. We’ll also check out tons of books from the library and take relevant fieldtrips. My husband Adam will be teaching them the first hour of the day, so I’ll collaborate with him on science and social studies. He’ll start out the year with a unit on insects. I’ll also use the book And Social Justice for All, by Lisa Van Engen, to teach about social justice issues like immigration, poverty, race, disabilities, and health care. Lisa is a teacher, so this would be a great supplement to a social studies curriculum.

Art, Music, etc.:

After quiet reading time in the afternoons, we’ll work on art projects, play games, go to the library, or go for a hike. I may pick an artist, composer, or inventor to study each week.

Socializing:

Our kids have tons of friends on our street, so I’ll try and coordinate some “recess” time since they’ll all be home doing remote learning.

Online Resources I’m Exploring:

Duo Lingo—free language lessons

Hoffman Academy—free online piano lessons

Ambleside Online—free Charlotte Mason curriculum

Study Birds with The Cornell Lab: free science/nature activities for cooped-up kids

Core Knowledge Curriculum–free language arts, history, geography and science curriculum for K-8

Go Noodle–free fun movement and mindfulness videos for wiggle breaks

K12 Reader–TONS of free reading and writing resources including printable spelling lists, lined paper, worksheets, and grammar

Khan Academy–free online math courses, lessons, & practice

Curiosity Stream (starting at $2.99 a month)–stream documentaries

Field Trip Zoom ($49.95 annual membership)

Signing Time Videos ($)

Epic Online Library ($)—personalized reading for kids 12 and under.

Starfall ($35 per year)–reading for pre-K-3

Project Gutenberg–library of over 60,000 free e-books

Brave Writer–some free resources and some for purchase

Explode the Code ($65 for 8 books and online access)–many people recommended this curriculum for kids who are learning to read

What other resources (especially free ones) would you recommend that have helped you to find peace and freedom in homeschooling?

I will be updating this list periodically.

Podcasts, books, and curriculum ideas for the reluctant homeschooler.

*This post includes Amazon affiliate links, but no other affiliates.

Image by No-longer-here from Pixabay

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Revisiting Hospitality After Life Takes a Turn {guest post}

By Heather Legge | Instagram: @heatherand2girls

Hospitality growing up was backyard grilling, a living room full of people eating Christmas cookies after a local community concert, encouraging cards written to friends and family, bowls of popped corn for teenage sleepovers, and a listening ear. It was not unusual for neighborhood kids to be playing in the yard even if we weren’t there, or for a kid to walk in and open the refrigerator for a snack. I truly believed this would be the story of my adult life – partly because I have so many happy memories and partly because it was the example I was given.

In my early years growing up, my mom had an open door. Friends came in and out and all the kids of my parents’ friends were friends. If someone needed help, it was given without hesitation; everyone took care of each other. We moved to New England when I was eight and the houses were a bit more spread apart than the close-knit neighborhood I started life in. Regardless, if someone had a new baby, my mom was there.

If someone came over, the door was open.

When my friends wanted a place to hang out, it was our house. Even in the four years that she battled ovarian cancer, my mom opened her heart and home to others.

I moved south after college and quickly got engaged to be married. The easy-going way of hospitality that I knew was exchanged for china dishes, elegantly casual attire, formal wedding and baby showers, closed doors, unspoken rules, and enormous homes kept pristine by cleaning services. I was in culture shock and my mom had died a couple years before, so I couldn’t ask her if this was some kind of new normal and what was expected of me.

When I became a wife and then a mother, I was so overwhelmed that I rarely invited people over. I was ashamed of my house not being perfect. Even when people dropped off meals after my babies were born, I felt silent judgment for not having it all together. I was also confused because the visits seemed to be for the purpose of holding the babies and not for actually helping. This is not the way my mom did it. If she brought a meal to a new mom or someone who had been sick, she was also washing the sink full of dishes or doing a load of laundry.

I began a small rebellion in my late twenties by hosting college students and purposefully leaving dishes in the sink, piles of clutter lying around, and occasionally some laundry that needed to be folded. This was real life and I was determined to show that it was not about having an impeccable home and well-designed plans. I was going counter-culture and it felt good and right. I reclaimed my dream of my kids getting older and eventually having an open door and yard for their friends and my neighbors. We moved into a small neighborhood with cul-de-sacs and even though there were no kids nearby, I knew they would eventually come.

My home would be the one with the swinging door and coffee on the porch, backyard barbecues, and the sounds of kids playing. But, just as we all find ourselves in situations that were not what we dreamed of, so did I.

Divorce, moving from my neighborhood to an apartment complex, and a difficult illness took away my hopes of an open door and yard. I probably spent too many years grieving this and other losses, but that doesn’t mean that new dreams can’t be imagined.

It’s easy with a chronic illness to become isolated and lonely and to feel forgotten. I am exhausted all the time and my income is impossibly small, both of which make it difficult to go out or to provide for guests. I found myself not making plans to go out in my free time in case I didn’t feel good. I didn’t invite people over for the same reasons. I would sit at home, alone, feeling sorry for myself.

There are definitely times where rest has to be my number one priority, but I also need to revisit hospitality and what it means now.

My new-to-me-life equals new-to-me-ideas about hospitality. It’s more about opening my heart and making places wherever I am, whether at home, a coffee shop, at work, a friend’s house, or out in the community. If I am already going to be somewhere, I can find a way to make it a place of welcome; extend myself as a welcoming person. It’s even possible to do hospitality from afar by writing notes. Who doesn’t love finding a card in the mailbox amidst bills?

My heart softened a couple years ago when I had made plans to get together with another mom at my church. We hadn’t met, but had messaged on Facebook a few times, realizing we had some things in common. We made plans to meet for coffee. On the day we were meeting, I woke up feeling unwell. I texted her and let her know that I didn’t think I’d be able to go out and meet but that she was welcome to come to my apartment. She showed up, and I answered the door still in my pjs.

I welcomed her, handed her a blanket to use while sitting on my couch, and climbed back into my comfy chair under a pile of blankets and a heating pad. I felt like the epitome of a bad host, but I also didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to make a friend and to extend welcome no matter the circumstances. As my new friend got ready to leave, she told me she had never felt more cozy and welcomed than she had that morning, simply because there were absolutely no expectations. She could be completely herself because of how low-key it was. I was astonished. I could do this!

I lovingly refer to this now as “blanket hospitality.” If you come over, make yourself comfortable on my couch with blankets and pillows and conversation. We might have coffee or popsicles. All are welcome, and you will see my piles and messes, but maybe that’s just what we need to do to show others that no one is perfect and that the relationship is far more important than appearances.

About Heather:

Heather Legge is originally from New England, but currently lives in Virginia with her two girls. She tries to make places in her heart for those who are hurting. She loves reading, coffee, and is learning to play the violin. You can follow her on Instagram at @heatherand2girls.

Photo by Victoria Bilsborough on Unsplash

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Unicorns and Rainbows: On Adoption {guest post by Sheli Massie}

By Sheli Massie | Facebook

“Being adopted is like having blank chapters in the story of your life.” – Adult Adoptee

I remember vividly the night after we had been matched with our son from Uganda. I lay awake in bed just sobbing, what I thought was a release of emotions carried these past two years of waiting. My husband kept saying over and over, but this is what we have been waiting for. This moment. As I began to process the floodgate of emotions I realized that my heart was immediately connected to his birth mother. I was imagining what her life was like or wasn’t. I was wondering what her name was, where she was, if she was alive, what a horrific and courageous decision she made to find someone to raise her child. That night imprinted a connection on my soul where answers may never come.

It’s been over six years since our youngest son joined our family and I still have so many questions of his beginning. When he came to the US he was only three, or so we think. Having a birth certificate and hospital records is a privileged expectation, not a norm. So we went by what the dentist could tell us here in the states. Home six years and just beginning to unpack his story. His beginning.

His story is his story. I can only tell you my perspective, what I have observed. I have never known what it is like to not have a family. A mother. A home. Food. Clean water. I have never been without. So I can not imagine the way he processes the abundance that is here and what was before. What I do know that when he is able to tell his story, his grief, his loss all I can do is to create a safe and healing place for it to happen. I will get it wrong. I already do. I miss cues and opportunities to enter in. Instead I rush past them and don’t recognize behaviors as something bigger. As part of his story. His undoing.

One of the greatest misconceptions that we have had to confront with his adoption is the reaction of those around us. Saying things to us, in his presence, that “he is better off here in the states. His life will be better. He is so lucky. Everything will be good for him. At least you saved one.” Yes, ALL of those things and more have been said to us.

Let me just say this, adoption is not unicorns and rainbows. It is not the happily ever after. Adoption comes with great loss and suffering. It comes with layers of unknowns and complications. And it comes with years of figuring it out together.

I was so naive when we adopted our sweet boy. I assumed that love would heal it all.

I was so naive when we adopted our sweet boy. I assumed that love would heal it all. -@sheligeoghanmas

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A real Barbie Savior complex. And then I put myself in his shoes. He has no beginning that I can remind him of. He has chapters that I am not a part of. A story that started way before this Mzungu (white person) showed up and took him from all he had ever known. He is left with a grief that is painfully deep I can not fathom.

We have this tradition in our family that we had been doing for years. The four older children knew that on their birthday I would share their birth story with them again at the dinner table. Each year I would tell their unique beginning. Their prologue. Until the year he asked what was his story. He asked me to tell him when he was “in my belly” in Africa. He would look across the table and yearn to hear how I had loved him every moment I carried him. He wanted to be more alike than different. For a while I admit I just played along. Not giving details but saying how I loved him from before I saw his face. I thought I was doing the right thing. Trying to build connection. But what I was really doing was making it easier on myself. What he needed was the truth. He needed to hear his story.

He will ask randomly about his mother. Who she is. Where she is. What her name is. If she ever calls. I give him all I know from just knowing him. “She is a strong and courageous woman. She is beautiful and brave because you are sweet boy. She loved you more than she loved herself because she chose to give to you life no matter the consequence. You are Ugandan, one of the most amazing countries I have ever seen and you will always be connected to a power greater than any of us can even imagine. “

Part of adoption is dying to self. Dying to false expectations and belief systems.

Part of adoption is dying to self. Dying to false expectations and belief systems. –@sheligeoghanmas

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You are bringing a child into your home that has undergone significant trauma, yes even as an infant. Loss and trauma are two of the biggest factors of the process that I feel gets passed over too quickly. Unless we are willing to knowingly enter into the lifetime of unpacking and hard work of healing we really should rethink adoption not as a calling but a commitment to holding space for painful trauma work.

Sweet boy is triggered by things every day and he will be for the rest of his life. It is something that we have come to accept. Behaviors that others may see as acting out or abnormal we just see as a breakthrough. That he feels safe enough to let that emotion surface or be explored. His world is not better because he was adopted and is not with his birth mom. His life is complicated and hard. He carries grief and unwritten chapters around as a daily reminder. As his second parents all we can do is create space for him to feel it all.

About Sheli:

Sheli Massie is a story keeper, seeker of justice, healing and hope in a broken world. She believes in longer tables, unlocked doors and living a barefoot life. She and her husband live outside of Chicago with their five children and one grandlove. You can find her over on Instagram @shelimassie_, Redbud Writers, Twitter, and  her website.

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GIVEAWAY OF ADOPTED!

For our last week of posts on foster care, adoption and children, I’m giving away a free copy of Kelley’s book, Adopted. It was one of my favorite reads last year and it was awarded the Christianity Today: 2018 Award of Merit Christian Living/Discipleship. Sign up for my newsletter by midnight (MT) on Thursday, May 31st and be entered to win a free copy! And/or tag up to four friends on my Instagram post about this book and I’ll enter you up to four times per friend you tag! Sorry, no bots and only U.S. residents!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

This month on Scraping Raisins, we’re talking about adoption, foster care and children. If you’re interested in guest posting about this theme, shoot me an email at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com. The theme for June is “Create,” so you can also be thinking ahead for that. Be sure to check back or follow me on social media so you don’t miss the fabulous guest posters I have lined up this month!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

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A Full House {guest post}

By Amanda Tingle Taylor | Twitter

I always thought my home would be full of children. I knew that I wanted children from an early age. I was always the “mom” in my friend groups, making sure that everyone was taken care of. I had my daughter at an early age and I was excited for what the future would hold. Circumstances changed for me and I found myself divorced with a baby. I knew my plan had changed, yet I still held out hope that I would have a large family full of children.

Many years later I fell in love again, got married and started making plans to grow our family. Better late than never seemed to be a fitting plan! Yet, time was no friend to me; as the years flowed past us our family didn’t grow. Abandoning my dream of having many children wasn’t an option. That lead to testing and fertility doctors. There were kits and creams, a surgery, and a tremendous amount of praying. Nothing changed, nothing happened; our family did not grow.

When reality set in that our family would not be growing the way that I thought it would, we started looking at other options. We agreed that we were not willing to spend a small fortune on something that might never happen with doing IVF. We moved next to adoption as an option. My heart wasn’t there. I again looked at the costs; financially, emotionally, and relationally and found that I couldn’t find a way to reconcile my brain and my heart. I started to worry that our family was done.

Secretly I had been looking on websites that provided photos of children waiting in foster care for adoption. Every time I clicked on a photo or opened the website I felt that little pull in my heart. I felt a hand gently pressing into my back urging me to keep moving in that direction. The more I looked the more I realized that there was such a huge need that I had been blind to. It wasn’t adoption that was most needed. It was loving and caring foster homes. The number of foster children in need was staggering.

That was twenty months ago. Since then we have had seven beautiful children in our home. I have been mom to them all. The ones who could talk have called me mommy. Each time a scared little face looks up at me for the first time I remember that I always wanted a home full of children. I have that now. Six of them have gone on to other families or back home to their parents. I still pray for each and every one of them at night. Sitting on my coffee table I have a photo album with photos, birthdates, and notes about each child.

The other child; the one that hasn’t left our home since she came to us twenty months ago – she is my daughter through and through. At this point we have been asked if we would adopt her if that became an option. YES! A thousand times over we said yes. She is graduating from Pre-k soon and planning to celebrate another birthday with us. We’ve been able to share two Christmas’s with her and have established new traditions with her. We are her parents. And as I tuck her in at night I know that will never change. No matter if she is with us for twenty more days or twenty more years. She IS my daughter.

When it’s quiet and I am up all alone, I look around my house and smile contently. I finally have a home full of children. It doesn’t look the way that I always imagined that it would. People often don’t understand why we would put ourselves through the pain of saying goodbye over and over to the little faces that call us mommy and daddy. The need is so great but they only see the hard parts.

They can’t understand that even when a child has to leave my home it doesn’t make them any less my children. I have loved them, sheltered them, cared for them, cleaned them up and fixed their ‘boo boo’s’. I may never be able to explain it fully to others, but as I pick up toys and put away clothes at night, I know why. I still see a home full of children even though they may have moved on. Each child has taken a piece of me with them. More importantly, I have a heart full of children; my children and I will always have them there.

About Amanda:

Amanda is an art teacher by day and by night a writer, foster care advocate and avid DIYer. Her passion for helping others and her desire to reach the lost and hurting come through in her artwork, writing and relationships. She shares her home in Georgia with her husband, daughters, foster children and a menagerie of animals. You can find her sharing real life and real struggles on her website A Joyous Mess. Follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and/or Instagram!

GIVEAWAY OF ADOPTED!

For our last week of posts on foster care, adoption and children, I’m giving away a free copy of Kelley’s book, Adopted. It was one of my favorite reads last year and it was awarded the Christianity Today: 2018 Award of Merit Christian Living/Discipleship. Sign up for my newsletter by midnight (MT) on Thursday, May 31st and be entered to win a free copy! And/or tag up to four friends on my Instagram post about this book and I’ll enter you up to four times per friend you tag! Sorry, no bots and only U.S. residents!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

***

This month on Scraping Raisins, we’re talking about adoption, foster care and children. If you’re interested in guest posting about this theme, shoot me an email at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com. The theme for June is “Create,” so you can also be thinking ahead for that. Be sure to check back or follow me on social media so you don’t miss the fabulous guest posters I have lined up this month!

 

*This post includes Amazon affiliate links.

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