Adopted: The Sacrament of Belonging in a Fractured World {guest post + BOOK GIVEAWAY!}

By Annie Rim | Twitter

I was hanging out with a friend the other day, our kids playing in the basement as we snatched bits of conversation. Her almost-one-year-old crawled over to me with the biggest smile. What a smile! I exclaimed before making a huge faux-pas, She looks just like her mom. Without missing a beat, my friend replied, She does look like her birth mom!

My friend is this little girl’s mom. She has been since before this child was born – chosen for her. And yet, through the connection of Facebook and open adoptions, we also know her birth mom and what she looks like. We see biologic resemblances even though all of this sweet girl’s nurturing is through her adoptive parents.

My friends have learned to handle these comments with grace. They are open about this road to adoption and the challenges and sweetness of the journey. They embody a family knit together by the restoration of adoption.

In Adopted: The Sacrament of Belonging in a Fractured World, Kelley Nikondeha speaks about the theology of adoption as an adoptee herself and as an adoptive mother. She weaves together stories of her own adoption, of her journey of adopting her children, and the Bible’s underlying theme of adoptive family. From Moses to Ruth to Jesus, we see adoption stories as the basis of Christian faith. Paul calls us adopted children of God. Without adoption, there is no foundation for the radical inclusiveness and love of the message of Jesus.

Kelley brings this theology of adoption out of the ancient text and into our lives, here and now. How do we reconcile the adopted land of Israel? To some, this state is a restoration of a displaced people; to others it is the oppression of an original people group. How do we reconcile centuries of oppression and slavery in America with acknowledgement that returning to literal African roots isn’t the solution? How do we restore the stolen land of our Indigenous People while recognizing it isn’t about the physical plot of land. Or maybe it is? Kelley brings these questions and their theology to the forefront while recognizing the complexities of living out a Jubilee-faith, a faith that restores the land and forgives debts; a faith that welcomes the refugee home; a faith that reconciles adopted land with homeland.

Kelley’s rich storytelling and smart theology blend perfectly create a book that deals with current issues of social justice with the power and grace of biblical redemption. She reminds us that redemption doesn’t mean a neat bow and easy answer, that this kingdom is slow in coming. But, she says, that doesn’t mean we lose hope. Through her own story of adoption, she says,

Adoptive parents aren’t superheroes or saints. The legitimate words of caution and real complications that are part of adoption give me pause. And yet redemption, whenever it happens, must be named (94).

Extending this metaphor of adoption, she reminds us that the road to redemption is paved with disappointment, failure, and suffering. It is the restorative work of God that brings those heartaches light and brings the slow restoration of this world.

She ends this book with the reminder that all of humanity is adopted into this family of God. And that by claiming the title of family, of brothers and sisters, we are interwoven and bound. We are together on this road to reconciliation and redemption. This faithful hope gives me pause when I get discouraged and reminds me that, though there are so many divisions, there is so much repair that is happening, as well.

Adopted is for sale now, and I’d highly recommend this hopeful book! As part of Kelley’s launch team, I received an advanced copy from the publisher but all views are my own.

How have you experienced the theology of adoption? Where do you long to see restoration through adoption?

*This review was originally published at www.annierim.com and is used with permission.

About Annie:

Annie Rim lives in Colorado where she plays with her two daughters, hikes with her husband, and reflects about life & faith on her blog. She has taught in the classroom, at an art museum, and now in the playroom. You can connect with her at annierim.com.

***

GIVEAWAY OF ADOPTED!

For our last week of posts on foster care, adoption and children, I’m giving away a free copy of Kelley’s book, Adopted. It was one of my favorite reads last year and it was awarded the Christianity Today: 2018 Award of Merit Christian Living/Discipleship. Sign up for my newsletter by midnight (MT) on Thursday, May 31st and be entered to win a free copy! And/or tag up to four friends on my Instagram post about this book and I’ll enter you up to four times per friend you tag! Sorry, no bots and only U.S. residents!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

***

This month on Scraping Raisins, we’re talking about adoption, foster care and children. If you’re interested in guest posting about this theme, shoot me an email at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com. The theme for June is “Create,” so you can also be thinking ahead for that. Be sure to check back or follow me on social media so you don’t miss the fabulous guest posters I have lined up this month!

*This post includes Amazon affiliate links.

May 22, 2018May 20, 2018

Third Culture Kids and Adoption {guest post + BOOK GIVEAWAY}

By Rachel Pieh Jones | Twitter

On the eve of my twin’s fourth birthday, they asked when they would turn black.

“Why do you think you will turn black?” I asked.

“Because everyone else is black,” they said.

We lived in Somaliland, a pasty-pink white-ish family, surrounded by Somalis.

“Karissa isn’t black,” I said. She was the daughter of another white family.

“She isn’t four yet,” my kids said.

“Well, your mom and dad are white, so you are white.”

“That’s not how it works,” the twins protested. “What about Jack and Negasti?”

They were a brother and sister, black, older than four, with white parents. They were adopted.

“You came out of my body and daddy’s body,” I said, “so you are white. They came out of a different mom and dad’s bodies and then joined that family.”

My kids were not convinced and went to bed certain they would wake up in the morning, four-years old, and with new skin.

My kids are Third Culture Kids, meaning they have spent a significant portion of their childhood years outside their passport country. Our global life has given them a unique perspective on things from skin color to what it means to belong to a family or a country.

We often refer to Djibouti, a small country in the Horn of Africa where we now live, as our ‘adoptive’ country, the place that has taken us in. But this is a misnomer because we are not Djiboutian.

Adopted kids are fully, 100% part of the family that adopts them. I have adopted nieces and nephews and they are all in. That’s just one of the beautiful things about adoption: it is a grafting in, becoming one family across various borders.

Expats are not all in. We are not all in, in Djibouti. We aren’t Djiboutian. In just a few weeks, those twins who thought they might turn black will graduate from high school and go to their passport country for university, a place they have spent less than three years living in.

In Finding Home: Third Culture Kids in the World, Galia Rautenberg writes about raising an adopted child in China.

“Our daughter is five now and often asked by peers and adults whether she is Chinese or a “foreigner.” Well, it is the right question to ask as she is ethnically Chinese, but her parents are not, and she speaks some languages which they can’t understand. So, does the fact she was born in China make her Chinese? Is she Israeli/German, born Chinese? She is living with Western culture at home and with another one while outside … Being an adopted TCK can complicate things but can also make it easier. We feel our daughter’s unique TCK situation will teach her so much for the future and help her cope with some of the hardships she might face along the way, adoption related issues and others.”

No matter a child’s skin color or international location, their adopted or biological birth status, there is a natural longing to understand identity (American? Djiboutian? Chinese? Israeli? German?), a desire for home, and the search for a place to belong. Third Culture Kids learn to be creative in finding that identity, home, and belonging.

What does it mean to live in a country in which we have no ancestry, no legal claim, most likely no generational future? What does it feel like to have that country imprinted on the heart but left behind when career, school, health, or family choices compel a transition?

What does it mean to ‘return’ to a country we may not feel attached to in any way other than by nature of the color of a passport or a label on a birth certificate?

The imagery of adoption and Third Culture Kids is helpful, but limited. I would love to hear your thoughts on the interplay between these two topics, so rich with questions of identity.

Do you find connections between the two? What might be some unique questions faced by adopted TCKs? How might their adoption help them navigate life between worlds?

You can read the rest of Galia’s essay on adoption and TCKs, as well as many others, in Finding Home: Third Culture Kids in the World, a book of essays on loving, raising, and being a TCK. The book is based on the Painting Pictures blog series hosted on Djibouti Jones in 2012 and is available on Amazon.

About Rachel:

Rachel Pieh Jones lives in Djibouti with her husband and three children. She has written for the New York Times, Runners World, the Christian Science Monitor, Brain Child, and the Big Roundtable. Her next book will be published by Plough in 2019. Visit her at: Djibouti Jones, her Facebook page, Twitter @rachelpiehjones, and Instagram: @rachelpiehjones. Check out her award winning cookbook, Djiboutilicious.

***

GIVEAWAY OF FINDING HOME!

We’re doing a giveaway of the e-version of this book of essays by various writers about what it’s like to raise or be a Third Culture Kid (TCK). To enter, simply sign up for my newsletter AND Rachel’s newsletter before this Friday, May 26th, midnight (MT) and we’ll draw a name after that and email the winner!

***

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

*This post includes Amazon affiliate links.

May 14, 2018

A Lament to God for Christ the Foster Child {guest post}

By Gena Thomas | Twitter: @genaLthomas

A few months ago, lament was heavy on my mind as I was hearing the news about DACA recipients. I didn’t know how to express my lament, so I opened up an amazing book by Soong-Chan Rah about lament and found the tool I didn’t know I needed: the acrostic. Then, stretching in a way I didn’t realize I needed to, I began to pen A Lament to God for Christ the Immigrant, with help and direction from the brilliant Juliet Liu.

Today marks a culmination of decisions that have me, once again, feeling the heaviness of lament. So once again, I have turned to the acrostic. And once again, I must thank Prof. Rah for this tool in the midst of weighted pain.

I lament:

for the Adulting you had to do at such a young age.
for the Bonds that must get prematurely cut.
for the Control you should have over your life but you don’t.
for the Decisions made without your input.
for the Environment you had to grow up in.
for the ‘Foster’ put before your name, and the prejudice that will come from it.
for the Grotesque scenes you’ve witnessed.
for the Heaviness you carry with you.
for the Isolation you constantly feel.
for the Juxtaposing you do daily between your life and everyone else’s.
for the Knowledge that has come to you out of its proper order.
for the Lying you’ve learned to mimic.
for the Mountains others will call mole hills.
for the Notes home from teachers that wouldn’t be there if …
for the Opportunities that never were.
for the Pains of growing up that will be deeper than most kids your age.
for the Questions that may never be answered.
for the Rights that may terminate or may not terminate.
for the Songs of childhood you never learned to sing.
for the Tension you may always hold between your past and your future.
for the Unwillingness for most people to understand you.
for the Visions of horror and the visions of home you hold in your minds eye.
for the Ways the people of God have not been intentional about loving you.
for the X-rays that show & don’t show the abuse.
for the Youth that was stolen and will never fully return.
for the Zeniths of times with blood family that may all be in the past.

For this I pray. For this I lament.

For the ways in which I have been selfish in my love for you, I lament, I repent.

Christ have mercy.

About Gena:

Gena Thomas served as a missionary in northern Mexico for over four years with her husband, Andrew. While there, the couple founded and managed El Buho, a coffee shop ministry that still serves the town of Hidalgo. Gena holds a masters in International Development. Purchase her book, A Smoldering Wick here and/or visit her at her blog or on Twitter.

This post originally appeared at www.genathomas.com and is used with permission by the author.

***

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

*This post includes Amazon affiliate links.

May 11, 2018May 11, 2018

The Two Week Wait

No one ever talks about the woman’s longest wait. The two weeks between attempting to conceive and waiting to see if you were successful in getting pregnant is agony.

You are acutely aware of every tinge, flutter and nauseous feeling (even if it’s just the garlic bread you had for supper). You may take your temperature daily or at least take your emotional temperature, wondering if this or that feeling is a sign the cells are multiplying. That life is forming even as you sit typing at your desk or wash up the evening dishes. You wonder and you wait. You pray prayers for life to be formed, then tell yourself that you’re being silly because life has already been initiated—or it hasn’t.

You open your calendar four times a day, checking again to see how early you can take a test. You Google it and wonder if it’s worth it to spend an extra $10 on the tests that promise to deliver the news four days earlier. I can wait, you tell yourself. But then you break down and take the test two days before you know it’s time and experience the first surge of emotion.

Disappointment.

Relief?

But then hope.

Maybe it was negative because you took it too early. So your rush out to Dollar Tree to buy more tests so you don’t have to feel guilty about wasting money on taking early tests. Annoyingly, the tests are too high on the shelf to reach, so you have to get a high school-aged employee to assist you. You try not to feel embarrassed, telling yourself you’re an adult and it’s none of her business anyway.

“How many?” she asks.

“Five,” you mumble, trying to ignore her raised eyebrow.

You tell yourself to just wait until you get your period and then you’ll know for sure, but it’s impossible to sit back and wait at this point. Because your life may be about to change completely. Or you may be back where you started. If that’s the case, you think, I’m definitely having more than one glass of wine tonight.

In the two week wait, you are often alone. If you have experienced many months of these waits, you may stop even mentioning it to your husband because he still doesn’t know what to say even after all these months. You cringe when acquaintances ask you if you want to have a baby or if you’re “trying.” “We’ll see,” you say.

And so you sit with your hope, and cradle your heart to try and shield it from the threat of sadness. You tear open yet another test—this time you are a day late, so the results should be accurate. But only one strong pink line appears.

You hate that line—or the absence of it’s companion. To combat the disappointment as you bury it in the trash can, hoping your husband won’t notice there is more than one in there, you tick off all the reasons why you’re glad the test is negative: you can have that margarita with dinner tonight, ride a roller coaster this summer, gorge yourself on sushi, or run a half marathon after all. Life is simple again. Your body is your own. At least for another two weeks.

You try to manage your jealousy when you spot women at church who have gotten pregnant so easily (or so you assume). Doing the math, you discover that if you had conceived when you planned, you would have been as far along as so-and-so. Then you feel angry with yourself for going to such lengths to compare yourself.

Your story may linger here. It may include more insensitive questions, experimental methods and more loss. It may require embracing a new way, plan or hope. It may not end the way you wanted.

Or one month that is many months later than you would have liked, you take a test—two days early again—and you lean over the counter to peer into the tiny plastic window. You see a faint pink line. The sign of life. And it is only then that you realize that the wait has just begun.

(For the record, I wrote this exactly two years ago, so it is not about today. Just FYI. See this post😉 )

***

I have three books to giveaway this month, so keep an eye out for them! This week, I’m giving away a copy of Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as Spiritual Discipline. You can read my review here, but it’s a fabulous book to buy for moms of young children who need a breath of fresh air. Sign up for my newsletter by this Friday (5/11) at midnight (MT) and I’ll send you a copy! Already signed up? Then like the Instagram or Facebook post I put up on 5/8 and tag up to four friends in the comments section (I’ll enter your name once per friend you tag)! Sorry, only U.S. residents and no bots allowed. 😉

It would make a fabulous mother’s day gift for a mom in the trenches!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

***

This month on Scraping Raisins, we’re talking about adoption, foster care and children. If you’re interested in guest posting about this theme, shoot me an email at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com. The theme for June is “Create,” so you can also be thinking ahead for that, too. Be sure to check back or follow me on social media so you don’t miss the fabulous guest posters I have lined up this month!

Blog Post: The Two Week Wait. No one ever talks about the woman’s longest wait. The two weeks between attempting to conceive and waiting to see if you were successful in getting pregnant is agony.

**Contains Amazon affiliate links.

Picture from Google Images, Creative Commons.

May 9, 2018May 9, 2018

The Physicality of Motherhood {guest post + BOOK GIVEAWAY!}

By Catherine McNiel | Facebook

I spent my very first Mother’s Day on a cross-continental flight, with my husband and lap-sitting infant—the same baby who had recently made me a mother.

All three of us had the stomach flu.

Let’s just say it was a complicated day.

Oh, the stories that tiny airplane bathroom could tell. Not to mention the airport terminal. Please don’t even ask what happened on the side of the interstate driving home.

My husband and son gave me a loving card and a thoughtful gift but—let’s face it—caring for a sick, squirmy baby on a long flight while feeling sick yourself is not the ideal celebration.

But then again, maybe it is.

Twelve years into motherhood now, with many peaceful Mother’s Days under my belt, I wonder. What more appropriate way is there to mark the first year of motherhood? Let’s face it—motherhood involves quite a lot of throw-up.

From “morning sickness” (that poorly-named wilderness of all-day suffering) to the drama of “transition” during labor, making a baby entails vomit and weird physical symptoms of all kinds. Then, the baby. That precious, wonderful child shares his or her bodily fluids so readily.

Everything about being a parent, and especially a mother, is physical. These children call to us in the deepest places of our bodies and turn us inside out. Goopy noses and flowing tears are wiped on our shoulders and jeans without a thought. Our precious little ones depend upon us for their very physical existence; they unabashedly demand our bodies for themselves.

It can be easy for us to get lost in these physical acts, the unrelenting pouring out of our bodies for the life of another. Furthermore, we’ve been trained to see very little spiritual value in our bodies and what they do, in meeting bodily demands.

And yet, when Jesus came we called him God-made-flesh because he took on a body. He did not appear as a cloud this time, or a fire. He became one of us. God-made-flesh didn’t spend his time in an ivory tower, distaining the messy, physical world in favor of the clearer and more controllable world of thought and idea. No, the baby who was born in a stable and celebrated by shepherds went on to teach about fish and bread, bread and wine, sheep and goats, wheat and yeast. He touched sick people, even lepers. I’m going to guess he saw quite a bit of vomit himself.

The Gospel he taught was incredibly physical and messy. After all, it is his birth and death that most captivate us—the messiest, physical moments of our lives.

For moms—and dads, and grandparents, and caregivers—we preach the Gospel in these same physical, messy ways. We love with our hands and feet, we surrender with our tired bodies, we give life with our wombs, breasts, and hearts.

We love with our hands and feet, we surrender with our tired bodies, we give life with our wombs, breasts, and hearts. @CatherineMcNiel

Click To Tweet

All this—and so much more—we willingly take on for the privilege of creating, bearing, sustaining, and giving life.

So, what’s a little throw-up on Mother’s Day?

Raise your air sickness bags with me. Here’s to life.

About Catherine:

Catherine McNiel writes to open eyes to God’s creative, redemptive work in each day—while caring for three kids, two jobs, and one enormous garden. Catherine is the author of Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline (NavPress 2017). Look for her second book (NavPress) in 2019. Catherine loves to connect on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, or at www.catherinemcniel.com.

***

I have three books to giveaway this month, so keep an eye out for them! This week, I’m giving away a copy of Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as Spiritual Discipline. You can read my review here, but it’s a fabulous book to buy for moms of young children who need a breath of fresh air. Sign up for my newsletter by this Friday at midnight (MT) and I’ll send you a copy! Already signed up? Then like the Instagram or Facebook post I put up on 5/8 and tag up to four friends in the comments section (I’ll enter your name once per friend you tag)! Sorry, only U.S. residents and no bots allowed. 😉

It would make a fabulous mother’s day gift for a mom in the trenches!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

***

This month on Scraping Raisins, we’re talking about adoption, foster care and children. If you’re interested in guest posting about this theme, shoot me an email at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com. The theme for June is “Create,” so you can also be thinking ahead for that, too. Be sure to check back or follow me on social media so you don’t miss the fabulous guest posters I have lined up this month!

**Contains Amazon affiliate links.

May 7, 2018May 9, 2018

What I Wish a Friend Would Have Told Me Over Coffee about Foster Care {guest post}

By Katie Finklea | Instagram

Foster Care is the hardest thing my husband and I ever walked into. Foster Care is also the most honoring thing that my husband and I ever walked into.

In honor of National Foster Care awareness month, I wanted to share some ideas and thoughts I wish would had resonated with me before taking our first of 11 foster care placements.

These are some top principles I would share with you over coffee. I hope you find them transparent, startling, eye-opening and encouraging.

1. It is not nearly as scary as I thought.

When we got our first phone call for a placement, my heart was pounding, and I started scrubbing things in my house that I had never had a desire to scrub in my life. I was searching for control and I was scared. Scared that we would fail and scared that this kid would be terrible and make us not want to foster again. I was scared for my 2 ½ year old and 11 month old and what they would experience. I was just plain scared.

Then he came to the door with the transportation worker. That blond hair and those big brown eyes instantly melted the fear away. He was simply a kid. A kid who liked mac n cheese, and soccer balls, and bubble baths, and hated bed time.

Did he have trauma? Yes. Were there some odd things we came across that we didn’t anticipate? Yes. But it wasn’t scary. HE wasn’t scary.

2. The church as a whole has no clue how to support foster parents.

Two years ago, before I became a foster parent, I ran into a friend who I hadn’t seen in weeks. “How are you?” I asked. She had just started fostering a sibling group of three kids about two months earlier. Tears formed in her eyes and she began to weep.

“You are the first person in weeks to ask how I have been,” she said. I was stunned–partially because this woman was clearly struggling and isolated, but even more so because this woman was an active member of her church and led Bible studies. She was plugged into her church community and it was no secret to anyone she was fostering.

Has anyone brought you a meal or asked to watch the kids to give you a break?”

“No,” she said. “But plenty of people tell me they are praying for me.”

Are you surprised to hear that this family no longer fosters? Fifty percent of families stop fostering after the first year due to lack of support and burn out. Many times the burn out has nothing to do with the children they are bringing in their home, but simply to do with dealing with the broken foster care system, and little support from their community and church.

Unfortunately this is the norm. The body of Christ has a responsibility to be the village to foster families. Not everyone is called to be on the front line, but everyone can do something and rally around a family for the long term.

Not everyone is called to be on the front line, but everyone can do something and rally around a family for the long term.

Click To Tweet

Mentor the child, offer babysitting, bring a meal, get background-checked according to your state requirements and offer that family respite for a weekend. [Visit Katie’s post about more ideas on how the church can support families who are fostering children.]

3. The goal of foster care is reunification, not adoption.

The ultimate goal of fostering is reunification. When a new foster family enters into foster care with the initial thought of adoption, they need to adjust their thoughts and reconsider foster care all together.

This is hard, and I struggle with this as well, but adoption is not the goal. Family preservation is the goal. Not family preservation at all costs, but we need to hope that the biological family can get the help they need to stand up and parent their child. We as foster parents give their child a safe and loving home while the family gets the help they need. That shows Christ’s redemption all over. That is the goal of foster care.

Of course family preservation is not always feasible and when it is not, there is a beauty in that adoption. But beauty never comes without a deep place of darkness for the biological family and the child.

So many times the biological family loves the child more than society can understand, but they simply don’t have the skill set to raise the child. The skill set isn’t there because that biological parent was a former foster child and never experienced normalcy. Then cycle continues and they lose full custody of their child. It is heartbreaking for them and also for the child to digest later in life.

So there is beauty in adoption, but there is a need for homes to truly be foster parents, and pray and cheer these bio parents on in hopes that reunification can happen.

4. The impact is immense.

This may seem obvious, but the ripple effects of offering a stable home to a child can be even more impactful than ever believed. Did you know that up to 80% of those who are sex trafficked come from children who are in the foster system?

According to Case.Org, studies show that 60% to 80% of child sex trafficking victims recovered by the FBI are from foster care or group homes. “Victims are trained to call sex traffickers “daddies” and themselves “wifey” – a perverted reflection of the family unit that these children are seeking. These children long for a family … even if it means being subjected to extreme violence and abuse.”

Gaining awareness and helping sex trafficking victims is vital, but instead of focusing on pulling them out of the river, we must focus on never letting them step foot in the river in the first place. Stable foster homes are one of the major antidotes for curing human trafficking.

Is foster care for everyone? No. But if you have been on the fence about opening your door to a vulnerable child, I encourage you to grab onto that thought and take the first step in going to an info session. The forever impact of loving bravely could be larger than you ever could imagine.

Check out a recent podcast, Mommin’ Ain’t Easy, interviewing Katie!

About Katie:

Katie is the founder of Loving Well Living Well, an adoption/foster care advocacy platform geared toward educating believers in their role in orphan care. She is also a foster mom, adoptive mom, biological mom and passionate for orphan care and promoting the Church’s role in meeting the needs of vulnerable children. Katie has also worked with birth mothers pre and post placement. Follow Katie on Instagram and Facebook.

***

I have three books to giveaway this month, so keep an eye out for them! This week, I’m giving away a copy of Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as Spiritual Discipline. You can read my review here, but it’s a fabulous book to buy for moms of young children who need a breath of fresh air. Sign up for my newsletter by this Friday at midnight (MT) and I’ll send you a copy! Already signed up? Then like the Instagram post I put up on 5/8 and tag up to four friends in the comments section (I’ll enter your name once per friend you tag)! Sorry, only U.S. residents and no bots allowed. 😉

It would make a fabulous mother’s day gift for a mom in the trenches!

***

This month on Scraping Raisins, we’re talking about adoption, foster care and children. If you’re interested in guest posting about this theme, shoot me an email at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com. The theme for June is “Create,” so you can also be thinking ahead for that, too. Be sure to check back or follow me on social media so you don’t miss the fabulous guest posters I have lined up this month!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

**This post includes Amazon Affiliate links

What I Wish a Friend Would Have Told Me Over Coffee about Foster Care {guest post}

April 30, 2018April 30, 2018

Time to Be Out with It: I’m Writing a Book

I’ve been hesitant to make a big deal out of this. In fact, I’ve mostly been telling myself it’s not true. But after opening the envelope with the advance check made out to me last week and having a conference call today with the whole team, it seems pretty official.

I may as well get it out in the open: I’m writing a book.

I haven’t wanted to plaster it all over social media for a couple reasons. For one, I have friends who have been trying to get published for years without any luck. If you’ve ever tried to get pregnant, then you know the pang you feel seeing one announcement after another of friends getting pregnant “on accident.” Having yet another friend announce their book deal is painful and I want to be sensitive to that.

Secondly, I’ve mostly been in denial. I kept thinking I’d get a call telling me they’d made a mistake, that they didn’t mean to tell me they wanted to publish my book. Until I held the check in my hands, I truly didn’t believe this was happening.

But it is. My book will be published fall of 2019. It’s really happening.

In August of 2017, an acquistions editor contacted me via the query form on my blog, telling me she had found me through Redbud Writers’ Guild and wondered if I was working on anything. I wrote a writer friend, “What do I say??” She told me to say “I was working a few ideas into proposals.” I quickly emailed the editor back, surprised that I had three ideas. She said she’d love to see a proposal for one, maybe two of the ideas.

“I’ll get back to you in a few weeks,” I said, which turned into three months.

Writing a book proposal felt like packing for a long trip, but not being sure what I should take and what I should leave behind. And much like packing, it wasn’t until right before I was finished that I felt close to being done. Clothing, shoes, books and cosmetics were strewn around the room in a huge mess–ideas, words, stories and quotes all piled in a heap.

I probably spent 100 hours on that proposal, inviting over 10 different friends to give their input on various parts and stages. People had said it was difficult, but I had no idea what it felt like to pull a book magically out of thin air and write a one page book overview on a book that DOESN’T EXIST.

My husband took a couple mornings off of work just to watch the kids so I could write. I stood in my office and nearly burst into tears because 1) I had an office and 2) he actually believed I could do this. He is the only reason I’m even walking this journey right now.

Looking back on the book proposal process, it felt like piecing together the outer edges of a puzzle–enough structure to guide your next step, but not enough of the picture to tell you what the whole puzzle would actually look like in the end.

I turned in my proposal on December 5th, 2017 and I felt like the answer would be a lose-lose rather than a win-win. If they didn’t want it, then I did all that work for nothing. If they did want it, I’d have to actually write a book. They got back to me on January 23rd.

“Look,” I said to my husband, holding out the phone. “They want to publish my book…” The tears came and the familiar feeling I had when I found out I was pregnant the previous three times: elated, but overwhelmed.

I didn’t have an agent, so a few friends with Rebud Writer’s Guild helped me navigate the intricacies of the contract and I finally signed it in early February.

I’ve written seven chapters of a 10 to 12 chapter book that I’ll turn in this December. It still feels surreal.

When I’m writing, I believe it’s happening–I get caught up in the flow and follow where it leads, but as soon as I step away, the voices start in on me.

The hardest part has been writing more than 1000 words. Most blog posts and articles I’ve written are short, so writing a book feels like trying to run a marathon when I’ve mostly trained as a sprinter. It can feel choppy and disjointed. But I’m also enjoying indulging in long-form narrative, much like the episodic story arcs of T.V. shows with six, seven or eight seasons. For the first time, I can laze about with my story.

“So what’s your book about?” is the million dollar question these days. Honest answer? I’m still figuring that out.

But according to the edges of the puzzle that are guiding me, and the outline I offered in my book proposal, my book is about reimagining biblical hospitality from a cross-cultural point of view.

It is a mosaic of personal stories and lessons I’ve learned from living overseas, studying culture, and having international students live with us. It’s about what the western church can learn from non-western cultures about practicing biblical hospitality to family, friends and strangers, living in community, and deepening our relationships.

Biblical hospitality is less about pretty tables and more about dying to ourselves. Less about image and more about imagination. It’s about inviting and being invited by Jesus and turning around and doing the same thing in our ordinary lives. It’s about quenching our loneliness by pouring ourselves out.

This book is kicking my tail, because I can’t write one way and live another way. If I’m going to write about selfless hospitality, I need to be living it. If I’m going to write about reserving space for people, I need to actually do it.

So that’s the scoop. I’m writing a book and I’m terrified. I’m scared no one will read it and that I’ll get it all wrong. But I’m also trying to let go and trust the woo woo writer magic to wave it’s pixie dust on my words. Mainly, I’m trusting the mystical Holy Ghost to guide me and give me words as I go. I didn’t seek this out, the book found me.

And on my runs as I slow to a walk along the lake in the gold morning light, I’ve been praying like crazy for myself and for you, my reader. (In fact, the other morning on my run, I was praying loudly and very audibly for my readers when I spotted a man on his back deck cradling his coffee just a few feet away. I pretended I was talking into my phone). I’m praying this message will be for us.

Writing a book feels scary and sacred, weighty and wild, so I appreciate your prayers for me as well. Please send me personal messages if I come to mind to let me know you’re mentioning me in your prayers. I’m going to need all the help I can get.

Leslie, soon-to-be author

***

If you want to win a copy of Mystics and Misfits, sign up for my newsletter by Monday, August 30th at midnight (MT)! Already a subscriber? Tag up to four friends on my Instagram post about this book and I’ll enter you once per time!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

April 27, 2018October 23, 2019

10 Podcasts for Writers & Creatives

As a writing teacher and writer, hearing writers share about their process fascinates and inspires me. Here are ten podcasts I recommend for writers and creatives.

#AmWriting

This podcast covers all things writing and also offers a free Facebook group for writers. They sometimes invite guests to share, but the hosts themselves have a ton of wisdom and experience which they offer to listeners.

Ann Kroeker, Writing Coach

I chased Ann Kroeker down the hallway once at the Festival of Faith and Writing, then cried all over her boots. The word that comes to mind with this podcast is “generosity.” In short, weekly podcasts, Ann offers her knowledge of the craft of writing as she coaches writers, suggests resources and offers advice to stuck writers.

Beautiful Writers Podcast

The host, Linda Sivertsen, has had fantastic guests on the show such as Anne Lamott, Arianna Huffington, Tom Hanks, Brene Brown, Mary Karr, Elizabeth Gilbert, and Seth Godin. I’m always amazed that she doesn’t fangirl all over the guests, like I would be prone to do …

Become a Pro Blogger

This is a practical podcast for those who view their blog as a business. While I personally see my blog as a vehicle for testing out writing ideas and connecting with readers, this podcast has helped me make a few shifts to be more productive and strategic in getting my content to the right readers.

Magic Lessons

In this podcast, writer Elizabeth Gilbert helps struggling writers and creatives to find their creative mojo. When I listened as a brand new writer, it helped me overcome the insecurity of calling myself a “writer” and admit that writing was a calling and gift claiming me (and not the other way around).

Creative If Writing Podcast

This is a bit more focused on blogging, and I’ll often turn here if I have a specific blogging-related question, like “How do I get the right image to show up on Facebook?” She has episodes on anything from non-smarmy marketing, tips for building traffic, to the top tools for bloggers. This is a very practical podcast for bloggers and online writers.

The Hope Writers Podcast

This podcast is hosted by the founders of the Hope Writers writing group as a teaser to encourage you to join Hope Writers. That said, it still has value as a stand-alone venture as the hosts discuss their genius and idiot moves, how to make money writing, book launch secrets, and how to organize your writing ideas, among other topics of interest to writers.

Rewrite Radio

This podcast was put out by the Festival of Faith and Writing and I’ve listened to many of the episodes more than once. My favorites are Barbara Brown Taylor (2004), Frederick Buechner (1992), Memoir as Feminist Testimony (2016), and Katherine Paterson (2004). They offer recordings of the sessions from the festival over the years.

Writers on Writing

This is a fabulous podcast where the hosts usually interview two professional writers each week about their writing process. I’ve gotten tons of ideas about what to read, new writing routines to try, and the constant encouragement that comes with realizing the writers I admire are real people with some of the same doubts that I have.

Writing Class Radio

The hosts invite writers to read their nonfiction essays and then they discuss what made it work. I appreciate the honesty and generosity of these women and have learned about the craft of writing from them.

10 Minute Writers’ Workshop

This podcast not only increased my “to read” list, it also gave me exactly what I needed as a new writer–the reminder I wasn’t alone in my questions, quirks and hesitations. I mean, if great writers were distracted by social media, then I didn’t need to feel so guilty. This podcast also provided me with practical ideas for editing, finding inspiration, and books on writing to hone my craft. I’m sad it ended, but if you are a writer, you should check it out. I think I listened to every single episode (you can read ten tips I learned about writing from this podcast here).

What are your favorite podcasts on writing or creativity?

***

Sign Up for My Monthly-ish Newsletter Here:

***

Our theme for April is “Books and Writing,” and I hope to share my favorite books, podcasts and resources for new writers. Click here if you’re new to the series and want to catch up on old posts. Be sure to follow me on social media and sign up for my newsletter below so you can be alerted of new posts. Please get in touch at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com if you are interested in guest posting on this topic!

**This post includes Amazon affiliate links

10 Podcasts for Writers & Creatives: As a writing teacher and writer, hearing writers share about their process fascinates and inspires me. Here are 10 podcasts I'd recommend for writers and creatives.

April 25, 2018April 24, 2018

Afraid of Poetry? Start Here. {guest post}

By Charlotte Donlon | Twitter: @charlottedonlon

I have always loved poetry, but I have also always been afraid of poetry. When I started graduate school three years ago, one of my assigned readings was T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets. I was terrified of not understanding Eliot so I read Tania Runyan’s How to Read a Poem, too.

I managed to make it through that first residency and those first class discussions without embarrassing myself too much. I was also able to let go of my insecurity enough to learn a few things about Eliot and his work.

The MFA in creative writing program at Seattle Pacific University gave me many gifts. One of those gifts is poetry, even though my primary genre is creative nonfiction. After reading Eliot, I kept reading poetry. I wrote papers about poetry. I discussed poetry. I even became friends with poets.

I can now say I’m no longer afraid of poetry. I need it. I need to swim in words and language and ideas, and reading poetry is the easiest way for me to sink into those seas.

When I read poetry, I slow down and pay more attention to words and their sounds and their places in the world. I also pay more attention to my places in the world.

Poets invite me to enter their waters and discover more about them, more about myself, and more about the spaces between us. They invite me to make new connections and think about things from different perspectives.

They invite me to consider what happens if we don’t worry about rules, get rid of punctuation, and sit with the silence that exists between stanzas.

Over the past couple of months, my relationship with poetry has deepened. I began writing poetry and I taught a poetry workshop at my local library. I had no idea these sorts of things would ever happen. I guess sometimes we end up doing things we never could have asked or imagined. I guess our actions have consequences.

If you have been interested in exploring poetry, but have been afraid to dive in, please don’t hesitate any longer.

Here are links to some of my favorite poets and some of their poems:

Come on in. The water feels great.

***

What about you? Who are your favorite poets?

Charlotte lives in Birmingham, Alabama with her husband and their two children. She recently earned an MFA in creative writing from Seattle Pacific University, and she does freelance writing and copywriting. You can find her online at www.charlottedonlon.com, on Twitter at @charlottedonlon, and on Instagram at @charlottedonlon. You can sign up for her weekly email newsletter about reading, writing, and creativity via her website at charlottedonlon.com.

***

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

***

**This post includes Amazon affiliate links

April 23, 2018April 24, 2018

A Review of Mystics & Misfits by Christiana Peterson (+a giveaway of the book!)

Growing up on the fundamentalist-side of evangelicalism, my covert love of the mystics like Teresa of Avila and St. John of the Cross felt scandalous. My adult spiritual life opens into a much larger pasture to graze on spiritual writings, so I’ll be candid about my love for this new book, Mystics and Misfits, by a new friend, Christiana Peterson.

I wasn’t sure what to expect–expository writings on the mystics of old? A memoir of her experience spending eight years in an intentional community in the Midwest?

With gorgeous writing and in-depth research, Christiana achieves the magic of inviting the reader into the lives of the mystics and into her family’s story.

Mystics and Misfits is divided into five parts–simplicity, hospitality, contemplation, church and death. Within these sections, Christiana shares personal letters to Saints Francis, Margery Kempe, Clare of Assisi, Simone Weil, and even Dorothy Day, asking questions and weaving her narrative with theirs.

She also chronicles her famiiy’s experience joining together to manage berry fields, raise chickens, can food, welcome strangers and worship in community with the other families living at Plow Creek Farm. Death, mistakes, missteps and doubts are handled without excessive idealism or burdensome negativity. Christiania relates both the beauty and the challenges of living in intentional community and the ways her study of the saints impacted her ordinary life.

In Mystics and Misfits, Christiana digs deep within herself to draw gems to the surface for the reader to appreciate. She offers her authentic self and successfully welcomes us to join her as fellow pilgrims in the journey towards experiencing authentic community and pursuing a rich inner life with God.

I had the unique opportunity to meet Christiana at the Festival of Faith and Writing the day after I read Mystics and Misfits and had the odd feeling of knowing someone before I had actually met them. I feel like this is the best kind of memoir.

If you are curious about the mystics, about what life at a commune is like, or just enjoy losing yourself in a well-written story, then you should read Mystics and Misfits.

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

Sorry, no bots and only U.S. residents (so sad, I know). But you can buy a copy here for just $15.00;-)

Have you read the book? What did you think?

***

**This post includes Amazon affiliate links

Tag: Scraping Raisins

Adopted: The Sacrament of Belonging in a Fractured World {guest post + BOOK GIVEAWAY!}

***

GIVEAWAY OF ADOPTED!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

Third Culture Kids and Adoption {guest post + BOOK GIVEAWAY}

GIVEAWAY OF FINDING HOME!

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

The Two Week Wait

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

The Physicality of Motherhood {guest post + BOOK GIVEAWAY!}

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

What I Wish a Friend Would Have Told Me Over Coffee about Foster Care {guest post}

1. It is not nearly as scary as I thought.

2. The church as a whole has no clue how to support foster parents.

3. The goal of foster care is reunification, not adoption.

4. The impact is immense.

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

Time to Be Out with It: I’m Writing a Book

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

10 Podcasts for Writers & Creatives

Sign Up for My Monthly-ish Newsletter Here:

Afraid of Poetry? Start Here. {guest post}

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

A Review of Mystics & Misfits by Christiana Peterson (+a giveaway of the book!)

Sign up for the Mid-month Digest and Secret Newsletter Here:

Welcome to Scraping Raisins!