Look for the Eagles

I grew up in Florida, with jasmine clinging to our fences and alligators in our backyards. I woke up each morning expecting the sun to shine. Apart from tempestuous storms raging in the afternoons with their jet-black clouds, thunder, lightning, and violent rain, the storms would often leave just as suddenly as they came.

Life up to age 18 didn’t prepare me for the near constant sheet of grey that settles over the Midwest for weeks and months at a time. Living in Chicago, I suffered from yearly Seasonal Affective Disorder, which eventually drove us west in search of sunshine even in the winter months.

Although we now live in Colorado, which supposedly has 300 days of sunshine a year, I still hate winter. I hate wearing multiple layers of clothing (and having to put those layers on three children). I despise not being able to sit outside for any length of time. And I abhor the way it confines us to our homes for months on end.

When I watch movies that take place in the summer months in places like Ireland and England, I realize how hungry I am for lush green fields, vibrant flowers, and billowing oak trees. I ache for spring—and usually get very emotional at the first sign of life.

Despite the cold and ice, I still run outdoors in wintertime. It’s more for my mental health than my physical health. I have a four-mile loop I jog through a residential area. My route eventually curves around a reservoir with a quarter mile stretch of gravel path hugging the edge of the water with a stunning view of the Rocky Mountains.

I don’t know how many times I ran that route this winter before I first noticed the eagles.

I happened to glance up and notice a bald eagle perched on bare tree limbs silhouetted against a blue sky. He craned his yellow beak down toward me and watched me pass right below him. On my next run, I noticed more. Had they been here the whole time? I cut down along the frozen bank of the reservoir and into a small wooded area of naked trees painted golden by the morning sun and counted 10 more eagles.

Like most people, our family is isolated and practicing “social distancing” right now. School, church, the gym, restaurants, libraries (sob), many stores, and all my plans for speaking and attending conferences were cancelled in less than a week.

Although we are on the cusp of spring, our world is re-entering a winter season of isolation and chill. And I’m trying not to hate it.

Today, I find hope in remembering that this is a season. It may be a long, chilling season and just as our gardens do not always recover from ice, wind, and snow, we will suffer real and invisible deaths. Many of our plans have already turned to ash. But although much in our life is going dormant, returning to “normal” life will bring a joy we’ve never known. In the meantime, we can look for the eagles.

This winter, my children enjoyed listening to a Sesame Street CD we checked out from the library. One song called “Nearly Missed” caught my attention and replayed itself in my head. It’s a reminder to me, to us, as we try to stay awake to the joy, the life, the small mercies:

“While lookin’ at my feet, at a crack in the sidewalk

An old tin can by the side of the road

I nearly missed a rainbow

I nearly missed a sunset

I nearly missed a shooting star going by”

On my run this morning I didn’t see a single eagle, though when I ran two days ago I spotted two bald eagles perched side-by-side. The eagles were only here for winter. And I nearly missed them.

Although I know I’ll burst into tears at the first daffodil signaling this season’s end, I’m trying to keep my head up and notice the beauties and mercies of this season of isolation.

***

Unrelated, but if you are stuck at home with littles, check out these great resources (some winter eagles?):

Lunch Doodles with Mo Willems (author of Don’t Let the Pigeon Ride the Bus) is doing a video each day showing kids how to draw and how he creates his books.

Enrichment Materials and Activities This has some great resources related to some more creative activities for kids.

Educational Companies Offering Free Resources There’s a ton here–I haven’t even delved into most of it.

Making the Most of “Extra Time” A great place to start if you really have no idea what to do with your kiddos at home.

Do you need a spiritual awakening? (I do.) I have an idea …

I don’t know about you, but I’ve been spiritually asleep for too long now. A friend recommended a book recently called In the End–The Beginning by the German theologian Jurgen Moltmann and one particular chapter re-energized me and gave me some ideas for Lent. He says:

“In prayer we wake up to the world as it is spread out before God in all its heights and depths … the person who prays, lives more attentively. Pray wakefully.” (p. 83)

And I asked myself: What if I started praying again–actually praying? For a set amount of time… And how would it transform my life to pray “wakefully”?

He continues:

“When we wake up in the morning we expect the new day; and in the same way, the waking which springs from prayer to God also leads to the expectation of God in the life we experience. I wake up, and open all my senses for life–for the fulfillments and for the disappointments, for what is painful as well as for what gives joy. I expect the presence of God in everything I meet and everything I do … People who know that there is someone who is waiting for them and expecting them never give themselves up. And we are expected.” (p. 85)

Do I wake up expecting the presence of God in everything I do? Expecting God? And finally, this quote:

To go through life with open eyes, to discern Christ in unimportant people, and, alert, to do the right thing at the right time: that is what praying and watching is about. We believe so that we can see–and withstand what we see.” (p. 86)

I’ve found this to be true. It reminds me of the Chinese friend I talk about in my book who encouraged me to pray for the pang bien de ren–the “right next to you people,” then watch for how God answers your prayer.

Would you consider joining me in praying for a set amount of time every day during Lent?

I tried this once before when I was single and living in China and it transformed me. That year, I read a psalm aloud and then spent an hour praying aloud every morning during Lent. Now that I am married with three small children, I’m thinking thirty minutes might be all that I can carve out, but I’m desperate for a spiritual reawakening.

We’ll begin this Wednesday with Ash Wednesday and end on Easter Sunday, but I hope this sparks a new habit of being spiritually awake to the work of God all around me.

If you’re interested, drop a comment here, email via my contact form, or send me a dm via social media to tell me you’re in and I’ll email the small group of us a couple times over the next few weeks just to see how things are going. Let me know your goal in the form of time. Personally, I’ll attempt to pray every morning from 5:15-5:45 am (which will mean going to bed super early…), but you can pick the time frame that works for you and your season of life.

If you can’t commit to this, but would like another challenge, you could also consider doing a digital detox/fast during Lent. You can read my post here for ideas on how to do that. Highly recommend. 

Feel free to share this with a friend and invite them to join you.

Blessings to you as you seek to live purposefully and wakefully right where you are.

xo
Leslie

I don't know about you, but I've been spiritually asleep for too long now. Would you consider joining me in praying for a set amount of time every day during Lent? #Lent #Lent2020 #prayandwatch #prayer #Lentidea #Lentgoal #mindfulness

New Books by Women Authors in 2020

Ok folks, I have books for you. Add these to your Goodreads “want to read” list, pre-order on Amazon (this guarantees the lowest price), request from your local library, or call in to your indie bookstores to pre-order. I’m drooling over these gorgeous covers. Most of these books are nonfiction and all are by women writers. I can’t wait.

Please share this post so we can spread the word about these! If you’re an author and need some help in launching a book, you can check out some ideas I’ve collected here. Authors appreciate readers pre-ordering, writing reviews, and sharing about books on social media and with friends in real life. Every bit helps.

I’ll continue being an irresponsible reader (according to my husband who reads one book at a time) and will likely read many of these at once. Which ones look good to you? I already bought the book of poetry as I compiled this list. Happy reading!

January

She Laughs: Choosing Faith over Fear by Carolanne Miljavac (Shiloh Run Press)

Healing Racial Trauma: The Road to Resilience by Sheila Wise Rowe* (IVP)

All Along You Were Blooming: Thoughts for Boundless Living by Morgan Harper Nichols (Zondervan) [a book of poetry]

Your New Name: Saying Goodbye to the Labels That Limit by Ester Fleece Allen (Zondervan)

For All Who Wander: Why Knowing God Is Better than Knowing It All by Robin Dance* (B & H Books)

Teach Me To Feel: Worshiping Through the Psalms in Every Season of Life by Courtney Reissig (The Good Book Company)

Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode–and into a Life of Connection and Joy by Aundi Kolber* (Tyndale Momentum)

In Want + Plenty: Waking Up to God’s Provision in a Land of Longing by Meredith McDaniel (Revell)

Where Goodness Still Grows: Reclaiming Virtue in an Age of Hypocrisy by Amy Peterson (Thomas Nelson)

A Prayer for Orion: A Son’s Addiction and a Mother’s Love by Katherine James* (IVP)

The #MeToo Reckoning: Facing the Church’s Complicity in Sexual Abuse and Misconduct by Ruth Everhart (IVP)

February

Parable of the Brown Girl: The Sacred Lives of Girls of Color by Khristi Lauren Adams (Fortress Press)

Loving Well in a Broken World: Discover the Hidden Power of Empathy by Lauren Casper (Thomas Nelson)

Making Peace with Change: Navigating Life’s Messy Transitions with Honesty and Grace by Gina Brenna Butz* (Our Daily Bread)

Chasing Vines: Finding Your Way to an Immensely Fruitful Life by Beth Moore (Tyndale Momentum)

Breaking the Mould: Learning to Thrive as a Ministry Mum by Jules Middleton (SPCK)

Soul Strong: 7 Keys to a Vibrant Life by Lucinda Secrest McDowell* (New Hope)

Holy Guacamole: A Glorious Discovery of Your Undeniable Worth by Carrie Stephens (Shiloh Run Press)

March

Defiant: What the Women of Exodus Teach Us about Freedom by Kelley Nikondeha (Eerdmans)

Enough about Me: Find Lasting Joy in the Age of Self by Jen Oshman (Crossway)

Secrets of the Happy Soul: Experience the Deep Delight You Were Made For by Katie Orr (Bethany House)

Don’t Overthink It: Make Easier Decisions, Stop Second-Guessing, and Bring More Joy to Your Life by Anne Bogel (Baker Books)

Spiritual Conversations with Children: Listening to God Together by Lacy Finn Bargo (IVP)

Mother to Son: Letters to a Black Boy on Identity and Hope by Jasmine L. Holmes (IVP)

Seven Transforming Gifts of Menopause: An Unexpected Spiritual Journey by Cheryl Bridges Johns (Brazos Press)

Keys to Bonhoeffer’s Haus: Exploring the World and Wisdom of Dietrich Bonhoeffer by Laura M. Fabrycky (Fortress Press)

April

This Is God’s Table: Finding Church Beyond the Walls by Anna Woofenden (Herald Press)

Beyond Awkward Side Hugs: Living as Christian Brothers and Sisters in a Sex-Crazed World by Bronwyn Lea* (Thomas Nelson)

Your Story Matters: Finding, Writing and Living the Truth of Your Life by Leslie Leyland Fields* (Navpress)

The Myth of the American Dream: Reflections on Affluence, Autonomy, Safety, and Power by D.L. Mayfield (IVP)

After the Last Border: Two Families and the Story of Refuge in America by Jessica Goudou (Viking)

Irrepressible: 12 Principles for a Courageous, Resilient and Fulfilling Life by Cathy Madavan (SPCK)

Becoming Sage: Cultivating Meaning, Purpose, and Spirituality in Midlife by Michelle Van Loon (Moody)

Ready to Rise: Own Your Voice, Gather Your Community, Step into Your Influence by Jo Saxton (Waterbrook)

May

Native: Identity, Belonging, and Rediscovering God by Kaitlin Curtice (Brazos Press)

Soul Care in African American Practice by Barbara L. Peacock (IVP)

This Too Shall Last: Finding Grace When Suffering Lingers by K.J. Ramsey (Zondervan)

Not All Who Wander (Spiritually) Are Lost: A Story of Church by Traci Rhodes (Church Pub Inc)

This Life We Share: 52 Reflections on Journeying Well with God and Others by Maggie Wallem Rowe (NavPress)

Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: How the Church Needs to Rediscover Her Purpose by Aimee Byrd (Zondervan)

June

Learning to Be: Finding Your Center After the Bottom Falls Out by Juanita Campbell Rasmus (IVP)

Roadmap to Reconciliation 2.0: Moving Communities into Unity, Wholeness and Justice by Brenda Salter McNeil (IVP)

One Woman Can Change the World: Reclaiming Your God-Designed Influence and Impact Right Where You Are by Ronne Rock* (Revell)

Jesus and John Wayne: How White Evangelicals Corrupted a Faith and Fractured a Nation by Kristin Kobes du Mez (Liveright)

The Way Up Is Down: Becoming Yourself by Forgetting Yourself by Marlena Graves (IVP)

August

Born Again and Again: Jesus? Call to Radical Transformation by Megan K. Westra (Herald Press)

The Grown Woman’s Guide to Online Dating: Lessons Learned While Swiping Right, Snapping Selfies, and Analyzing Emojis by Margot Starbuck* (Thomas Nelson)

Expecting Wonder: The Transformative Experience of Becoming a Mother by Brittany L. Bergman* (Fortress Press)

Stories that Bind Us by Susie Finkbeiner (Revell) [fiction]

September

Embodied: Clergy Women and the Solidarity of a Mothering God by Lee Ann M Pomrenke (Church Publishing)

October

Awakened by Death: Life-Giving Lessons from the Mystics by Christiana N. Peterson (Broadleaf Books)

November

The Great Belonging: How Loneliness Leads Us to Each Other by Charlotte Donlon (Fortress Press)

This list will be updated periodically throughout the year. Enjoy! If you’d like more book recommendations, please sign up for my monthly-ish newsletter!

This post includes Amazon affiliate links. But when possible, I recommend supporting your local indie bookstore! 🙂

*Author at Redbud Writers’ Guild

How to Have a Digital Detox

I’m addicted.

No, I’m not addicted to alcohol, porn, drugs, or drugs. I’m addicted to my Smartphone. It’s been awhile now. I even wrote about it nearly two years ago in an article for SheLoves Magazine called It’s Time to Hide My Hashtags. At the time, I was horrified to discover that I unlocked my phone over a hundred times a day and spent two hours or more a day (on average) on my phone. Sounds ridiculous, but that’s actually average for most Smartphone users. (The fact that we app and Smartphone owners are called “users” is so telling …).

I’ve asked in Facebook groups, on Twitter, and among my real life friends, trying to figure out the magic formula to yank myself out of the Smartphone use compulsion. I started sleeping with my phone plugged in downstairs, deleted apps from my phone, got my husband to block those apps and websites on my internet browser (only he has the password), but I always make up excuses to convince him to let me creep back in the gate. Eventually I find myself right back where I started: mindlessly swiping and scrolling away precious minutes of my life.

Nothing has worked.

So coming across a book called Digital Minimalism felt serendipitous to me. I’m desperate for change. Desperate enough to call it quits on my Smartphone and social media for the whole month of December and maybe even beyond.

Cal Newport sold me within thirty pages of his book, citing all the ways Smartphones have been developed to keep us glued to our screens for one simple reason: it makes more money. He talks about the dopamine hits we receive with each “like,” how one developer called the Smartphone a “slot machine,” and others admitted developers exploit our basic human need for social approval.

Bill Maher joked that the App Store was coming for our soul. Newport writes, “As revealed by whistle blowers and researchers … these technologies are in many cases specifically designed to trigger this addictive behavior. Compulsive use, in this context, is not the result of a character flaw, but instead the realization of a massively profitable business plan. We didn’t sign up for the digital lives we now lead. They were instead, to a large extent, crafted in boardrooms to serve the interests of a select group of technology investors” (p. 24).

Scary.

So while I’ve taken a few measures and gone a week without my Smartphone before, I’ve never done an entire month. December seems like the perfect time to do a digital detox so I can start out 2020 with a clear head and greater focus (I’m also re-reading Essentialism, which is perfect for this time of year. Yes, Enneagram 3 here …)

I wondered if any of you would like to join me in the challenge?

Here’s what I’m thinking for the Great December Digital Detox of 2019 (which Newport calls “digital decluttering.” He says, “It’s a mistake to think of the digital declutter as only a detox experience. The goal is not to simply give yourself a break from technology, but to instead spark a permanent transformation of your digital life” p. 70.)

Newport recommends we:

  1. Define our technology rules and operating instructions (any exceptions to the rules).
  2. Take a 30-day break (ours will be 31 days).
  3. Reintroduce technology. (This all reminds me of the Whole 30 diet…) To do this, ask yourself:  a) “Does this technology directly support something that I deeply value—not just offer a benefit?” p. 75. b) Is this the best way to use technology to serve this value? c) How and when will I use it?

Defining My Technology Rules

(This is what I’ve worked out for myself, but you may want to tweak it for yourself)

NON-NEGOTIABLE:

Clear off all the apps from my phone that I don’t absolutely need (yes, that means Instagram..). Continue to use the app Block Site that will block apps and even my internet browser. Only my husband knows the password. I’m essentially “dumbing down” my phone to only text, make calls, use GPS, and have any other business-related apps.

Block social media (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and Pinterest) on my computer. I think Block Site will also work for this. (I’ve also heard good things about Freedom, but I think you need to pay for that one.) Perhaps I’ll set up my private messages so that people get an “out of office” sort of message.

NEGOTIABLE:

News. Newport suggests just checking a curated list of articles like allsides.com or listening to a news round-up podcast like Up First by NPR (13 or 14 minutes)

Email. I can’t not check email, but I probably don’t need to check it twenty-eight times a day. I need to come up with specific times of day I will check email—probably morning, noonish, and once in the evening.

Podcasts, music, audio books. One of Newport’s chapters is about solitude and how some of the most important ideas are borne out of great swaths of time and silence to reflect (his other book Deep Work goes into greater detail about this). I tend to fill every quiet moment with someone else’s ideas, so I think I’ll take the month off of podcasts and audio books (or think of specific situations when I can listen—like when I’m cleaning toilets or something). Not sure yet about music since I do enjoy Christmas music … need some parameters for this.

Texting, Voxer, What’s App, Marco Polo, Snapchat and Facebook Messenger. Newport isn’t a fan of these because it means we’re on call at all times. He mentioned a service where you can consolidate your text messages and just check them once or twice a day. I think I’ll minimize down to texting and calling only during the month.

Camera. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing I probably don’t need to take 100 pictures a day that I never use for any good purpose. I still have a point-and-shoot camera, so I may just use that for the month and see what happens.

T.V. This was more of a distraction for me when I was single and living alone and would binge-watch Alias until 3 am. Now that I’m married with small children, I’m lucky if I watch one 42-minute show a week with my husband—and that’s mainly just so we can fold clothes. I’ll keep this (plus I’ll want to watch some Christmas movies).

Leisure Time

(What’s that?) Newport says we need to enter the month with a plan for how we’ll fill the extra time we find ourselves with. I hope to read more, play more, and talk to actual people instead of just sending messages across oceans and states. It might also be a good time to do some Advent reading, spend more time praying, and go on more walks.

That’s my plan. The book Digital Minimalism has a ton more ideas on how to actually do this, so I recommend reading or listening to it in advance!

I’ve started detoxing a bit and am already feeling less anxious and more peaceful. It’s definitely time to do this.

Join me? If you want to, send me an email at scraping raisins @ gmail (dot) com to let me know you’re in for the Great December Digital Detox of 2019.

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links

Ethical Gift Guide to Love People & Help Our Planet (2019 Edition)

I have a confession to make: I hate shopping. But when I can A) shop from the comfort of my own home, B) have access to a curated list of beautiful goods, C) know that my dollars contribute to the well-being of the artisans and their families, and D) enjoy a discount, then I am more on board with shopping.

As in the past couple years, the difference between this list and other lists you may come across is that I aim to keep each gift below $50.00, since that’s generally my budget for Christmas gifts. Not only have I added a few more companies and individual artists to the list, but nearly two dozen offered discounts to Scraping Raisins readers this year!

Please share this post with your friends and family so that more people have the chance to enjoy these discount codes and spread the word about these incredible artists and companies!

2nd Story Goods

EMPOWERS: Men and women in Gonaives, Haiti

SELLS: house goods, toys, journals, and metal art

From their site: “We’ve been working on the ground with our artisans in Gonaives, Haiti for 8 years, creating recycled, handcrafted goods for a livable wage. Last year our impact enabled over 108 children to stay in school, not because of hand-outs, but through the dignity of their parents’ work with 2nd Story Goods.” My pick is this leather bottle holder for $22.00:

Barefoot Books

PROMOTES: green business practices and diverse books

From the site: “From sustainably sourced paper to vegetable-based ink, the materials that make up our books are ones that you can feel good about having in your classroom or home. Whether it’s donating Barefoot books to Marley Dias’ #1000BlackGirlBooks campaign or planting trees across the globe, the Barefoot family is taking action to make an impact every day.” My pick is this World Atlas for $19.99:

Dignify

EMPOWERS: women in Bangladesh

SELLS: table runners, baby blankets, throw blankets, bedding

DISCOUNT: Enter “ScrapingRaisins” for 15% off until December 31st! Also, everything in the store (except gift cards) will be 20% off on Saturday, Nov 16th only!

Dignify helps women experience and share hospitality with their one-of-a-kind kantha blankets, sustainably made with dignity by vulnerable populations of women in Bangladesh. My pick would be these stockings for $28.00:

Divine Chocolate

EMPOWERS: Farmers in Ghana

From their site: “Divine Chocolate is co-owned by the 85,000 farmer members of Kuapa Kokoo, the cooperative in Ghana that supplies the cocoa for each bar of Divine. As owners, they get a share in the profits, a say in the company, and a voice in the global marketplace.” This 10-pack for $35.90. These would make great stocking stuffers!

Do Good Shop

EMPOWERS: A variety of artisans around the world

SELLS: jewelry, accessories, women’s clothing, and gifts for men

From their site: “Do Good Shop runs like a business, but is actually a nonprofit organization. This means that not only does each purchase create jobs for vulnerable artisans, but also ALL of our net proceeds go directly back into supporting the artisans and their communities, and educating others about this great need.” My pick is this journal for $15:

Elegantees

EMPOWERS: women coming out of sex trafficking in Nepal

DISCOUNT: 20% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins” until Dec. 25th!

From their site: “We dream to expand from one sewing center to several to provide more jobs. The waiting list is between 300-500 women who desire to work for Elegantees …The designs are ethically made by women (and some men too) who are paid fair wages. Fabric is sustainable using organic cotton in new fabrics we dye. We also source from dead stock fabric for non-organic blends.” My pick is this top for $44.00 ( my mom bought be a shirt from Elegantees last year and I LOVE it!)

Fazl Socks

EMPOWERS: Women and orphaned children in India

SELLS: socks, bags, and hats

DISCOUNT: Buy one pair, get the second pair at 50% off using the code “SCRAPINGRAISINS”

From their site: “Every time you purchase Fazl, you are helping to provide orphaned and destitute children in India with food, shelter, education, and clothing. What’s more, we give fair wages to artisans in need who handmake every Fazl item. We are committed to supporting orphanages in India that care for vulnerable children, and we dedicate 50% of our net profits to this cause. We also provide dignified work opportunities for women in need. Bonus! Our products are fabulous! ” My pick is these socks for $24.00:

Gobena Coffee

EMPOWERS: vulnerable and/or orphaned children

From the site: “100% of our profits go to enriching the lives of vulnerable and/or orphaned children. When you buy one bag of coffee $4 (our profit) goes to enrich the lives of vulnerable and orphaned children.”

The Gobena Coffee Club is their subscription coffee service and you get discounted coffee when you sign up for this option that includes free shipping! It would make an excellent gift for a coffee lover;-) My pick would be this Ethiopian coffee for $15.99:

The Grain of Rice Project

EMPOWERS: Kenyans living in the Kibera slum

SELLS: jewelry, accessories, housewares

DISCOUNT CODE: 15% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins” until Dec. 31st!

Grain of Rice Project empowers Kenyans living in the Kibera slum by helping them become self-sufficient through employment, education, and skills training.  My pick would be these paper bead hoop earrings for $12.00:

Green Toys

PROMOTES: Local manufacturing using recycled materials

DISCOUNT: 20% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins” (minimum order of $20) until 12/15/19

This site has a wide range of toys for children. From their site: “From our 100% recycled materials to our US-based manufacturing, we’re raising awareness about sustainability while delivering unquestionably safe products.” This car carrier for $24.99:

Imagine Goods

EMPOWERS: Trafficking survivors in Cambodia, disadvantaged in Haiti, and those coming out of homelessness in Pennsylvania

SELLS: clothing, men and women’s aprons, bags, and even dress shirts and neckties for men! (It is very difficult to find reasonably-priced, ethical clothing for men.)

DISCOUNT: 20% off Nov. 15-Dec. 15, 2019 using the code “ScrapingRaisins”

Imagine Goods empowers trafficking survivors in Cambodia and vulnerable in the Haiti to provide opportunities for empowerment through employment. They also lead trips abroad for people to learn about poverty and the garment industry.  I bought some wristlets last year for my nieces and adore them. I still do:-) I love this one for $25.00:

Just Coffee Co-op

EMPOWERS: famers in South and Central America, Africa, and Southeast Asia

From their site: “Just Coffee is a certified B Corp. B Corp certification gives us a credible third party certification to ensure that our practices meet our mission and values– it vouches for us that we are a business that aims to be a force for good in the world. It looks at our commitment to environmental sustainability, being good partners to our suppliers, a good place to work for our employees, and a good neighbor our communities.” My pick is this coffee for $15.00:

JusTea

EMPOWERS: Men and women in the Nandi Hills community in Kenya

DISCOUNT: 15% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins15”

JusTea is a specialty tea factory staffed, managed, and owned by small-scale tea farmers in the Nandi Hills of Kenya.

My pick is the Purple Rain tin (I have it and LOVE it )for $13.00:

LOVELY

EMPOWERS: men and women coming out of the sex trafficking industry in Texas

SELLS: T-shirts, jewelry, prints, candles

From their site: “We visit strip clubs cross Texas, build relationships with club employees without strings attached, and connect them to community and spiritual resources. For those desiring to transition from the industry, we offer various programs to assist their journey. We also work with “Johns” who have been caught up in prostitution through our Stop Demand School. We stand against exploitation from materials to manufacturing while creating avenues of opportunity.” Their site is a little tricky, so click on the menu (three lines) and use the sidebar to view all their products. They have shirts with messages like: “The kingdom of God smells like cigarettes and perfume: Jesus Said Love.”

My pick would be this salt scrub for $15.00:

Meenal Patel Studio

PROMOTES: individual artisans

SELLS: art prints, cards, childrens’ books

DISCOUNT: Meenal is offering 15% for orders of $50 or more from Nov. 25 to Dec. 3. She also offers free standard shipping within the U.S. for orders of $35 and up.

I discovered Meenal’s work at an online popup shop and fell in love. She is a talented illustrator, children’s book author, designer and artist. I adore this one for $26.00:

And this one is my all-time favorite for $26.00:

Mighty Nest

PROMOTES: green living

DISCOUNT: Get the first month of their Mighty Fix monthly subscription for $3.00 (usually $11.00) using the code “ScrapingRaisins3”–this would make a great gift! They’ll send you things each month to promote green living like reusable snack bags, bags to buy in bulk, Swedish dish cloths, or dryer balls to use instead of dryer sheets).

From the site: “Mighty Nest is a unique Web site that provides you the ability to research, get advice and buy natural, organic and non-toxic products all in one place. All of the products we sell are free from known toxic ingredients such as: BPA, PVC, Phthalates, Lead, Melamine, Formaldehyde, Flame retardants, Parabens and more.”

My pick is this reusable bag set for $11.99:

Papillon Marketplace

EMPOWERS: artistans from Haiti

SELLS: bags, jewelry, home décor, toys, T-shirts

DISCOUNT: 20% off until Dec. 24th using the code “ScrapingRaisins”

Papillon Marketplace provides jobs for Haitians and trains individuals to use metal, cardboard, aluminum, dirt, and paper to create jewelry and other products. My pick is these mugs (Papillon donated some for pre-order bonuses for my book and the are PERFECT–great color, shape, handle, and mug size). They’re $22.00 each and have a wide variety of color options:

Poiema Creations

EMPOWERS: Individual artists

SELLS: Handmade jewelry

This etsy shop belongs to an artist friend from college named Katie Coons. Inspired by her love of nature, Katie creates gorgeous pieces of jewelry. My pick would be this moon over mountain pendant for $10.00:

Her grandmother taught her how to make these beautiful sterling silver baby bracelets for $45.00 that would also make a great gift for a new mama:

Preemptive Love

EMPOWERS: Refugees in Iraq, Syria, Libya, and the U.S.

SELLS: soap, candles, services/items for refugees

DISCOUNT: 20% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins” (applies to all individual soaps and 5 bar sets in the store)

I met the CEO and founder of this organization three summers ago at a conference. This is an incredible organization, and this site is just one small part of what they are doing. In addition to soap and candles, you can buy chickens for a displaced family, medical treatment for a war survivor or water for families in conflict zones in Iraq. This is their mission: “We’re a coalition stretching across Iraq, Syria, the United States, and beyond, working together to unmake violence and create the more beautiful world our hearts know is possible.” I gave some of these $10 soaps for stocking stuffers for my mom and nieces one Christmas. My pick is this Sisterhood Soap, Fig & Date Tea Towel Set for $30.00:

PURPOSE Jewelry

EMPOWERS: women and girls escaping human trafficking in Mumbai, India; Kampala, Uganda; Tijuana, Mexico; and two in Orange County, California.

SELLS: jewelry, candles, ornaments

DISCOUNT: 10% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins10” [on November 26th, for Ethical Tuesday, they are offering 15% off using the code “ethical15”]

From their site: ” International Sanctuary and PURPOSE Jewelry’s mission is to empower girls and young women escaping human trafficking to embrace their true identity and worth. The art of craftsmanship through our social enterprise, PURPOSE, paired with holistic care through our program, International Sanctuary, ensures that every woman gains hope, dignity and freedom for the future. ” My pick is these lunette earrings for $24.00:

Re:New

EMPOWERS: Refugees in Chicago

SELLS: purses, wallets, bags and journals made from upcycled materials

DISCOUNT: 10% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins”

From their site: “We engage, equip and employ refugee women in the Chicagoland area. It is our greatest desire to provide a space for refugee women to thrive as they rebuild their hopes and dreams in the United States.” My pick is these hana earrings for $28.00:

Sak Saum

EMPOWERS: Exploited men and women in Cambodia

SELLS: accessories, apparel, bags, wallets

DISCOUNT: 25% off using the code “ScrapingRaisins” until Dec. 15th!

This company came highly recommended by a friend. From their site: “Located in Phnom Penh and the Saang District of Cambodia, Sak Saum is a ministry dedicated to the rescue, restoration, transformation and rehabilitation of vulnberable and exploited women and men.” My pick is this hat for $16.00:

Sari Bari

EMPOWERS: survivors of trafficking in India

SELLS: bags, tablecloths, baby gifts, home décor

DISCOUNT: 25% off using the code “SCRAPINGRAISINS”

Sari Bari partners with women who have chosen to empower themselves by exiting the sex trade in India by providing jobs to create beautiful products using vintage saris from Kolkata’s largest red light district. *This company came highly recommended by my friend living in India. ” My pick is these six dinner napkins for $42:

Serrv

EMPOWERS: Various artisans around the world

SELLS: just about anything

From their site: “One of the first fair trade organizations in the world, Serrv International began its mission by helping displaced European refugees trade their handcrafts for income after the Second World War. Since then, we’ve extended our reach to 25 countries worldwide, working to empower over 8,000 artisans and farmers every year by selling their beautiful handcrafts. ” They have some really cool nativity sets here. I love this West Bank dipping bowl set for $32.00:

The Shop Forward

From their site: “Every product sold on The Shop Forward follows our mission of supporting programs and organizations that are effectively working to help others around the world.. Since launching in November 2014, The Shop Forward has raised over $3,100,000 for various charities by selling items associated with a cause. Our goal is to provide a platform to collaborate with charities for fundraising and spreading awareness while offering great, unique, and ethically made products for customers to enjoy.” My pick would be this custom 4-things tote (takes up to 3 weeks, so plan ahead!)

Soap Hope

EMPOWERS: Women in poverty

From their site: “Each time you shop at soaphope.com, 100% of the profits – yes, every dollar – goes to empower women to lift their lives, families, and communities from extreme poverty. We select partners each year based on need and outcomes.” My pick would be these soaps for $10.49:

Sparrow House Botanicals

EMPOWERS: survivors of human trafficking

From the site: “We provide a sustainable hourly wage, an opportunity to build a job history and a resume, as well as work making quality products the ladies can be proud of. We use organic, fair trade ingredients in the manufacturing of our products to ensure that they are the most natural and socially conscious that they can be. We want to make sure that as we seek to provide freedom for the women we employ, we will not be oppressing any others!” This orange mint bath set for $42.00 might make a great gift for a female teacher, or a mother, sister, friend, etc.:

Starfish Project

EMPOWERS: Women coming out of trafficking in Asia

SELLS: jewelry

DISCOUNT: 25% off using the code “SCRAPINGRAISINS. (Excludes the Darling and Dressember collaboration pieces and sale items.)

This company provides shelter, counseling, employment and education to women coming out of trafficking in Asia. From their site: “We provide life-changing opportunities through our Holistic Care Programs and our social enterprise where women create beautiful jewelry and become managers, accountants, graphic designers, and photographers.” My pick is this rose gold star-shaped bracelet for $44.99:

SutiSana

EMPOWERS: Formerly prostituted women in El Alto, Bolivia

SELLS: apparel, leather bags, accessories

DISCOUNT: Use code “ScrapingRaisins20%” for 20% off until December 31st!

From their site: “SutiSana was founded by Word Made Flesh in 2010 to provide dignified employment and a new life for women attempting to leave prostitution in El Alto, Bolivia …Word Made Flesh coordinates sewing training for women to prepare them to work in SutiSana. When a woman joins SutiSana, she receives all the benefits, including health insurance. She and her children are supported through community, and she is given opportunities to continually grow – learning to design bags, work with new materials, and even coach other women as they leave prostitution.” My pick for a guy is this dopp kit (why did I always think it was “dob kit!?”) for $45.00:

Thistle Farms

EMPOWERS: Women survivors of trafficking and addiction in the U.S.

SELLS: lip balm, bath sets, non-toxic bug spray, lotions, soap

DISCOUNT: 10% off until Dec. 15th using the code “scrapingraisins”

From their site: “Thistle Farms’ mission is to HEAL, EMPOWER, AND EMPLOY women survivors of trafficking, prostitution, and addiction. We do this by providing safe and supportive housing, the opportunity for economic independence, and a strong community of advocates and partners.” First of all, this lip gloss is amazing--buy it right now as stocking stuffers for anyone you love ($4.00 each–comes in tea tree mint, lavender, citrus wood, and no scent–I like them all!)

This bath soak trio for $34.00 also looks pretty amazing:

One more–this Cinnamon Cedar Soy Candle for $30.00 (try saying THAT three times fast!):

The White Peacock

EMPOWERS: Women in India

SELLS: handicrafts, Christmas ornaments, jewelry, bags

DISCOUNT: 20% off Nov. 15-Dec. 15 using the code “SCRAPINGRAISINS” (does not include the holiday collection)

The White Peacock empowers Indian women to work at home and support their families through creative design, crafting, and marketing handmade items. *Recommended by my friend living in India. I’m a fan of these luggage tags for $4.99 each:

Women’s Bean Project

EMPOWERS: Disadvantaged women in the Denver, CO, area

SELLS: dried soups, cornbread, brownies and other food

DISCOUNT: 20% off until Dec. 15 using the code “ScrapingRaisins” (can’t be used in conjunction with other discounts, on sale items, or for donations)

From the site: “We hire women who are chronically unemployed and we teach them to work by making nourishing products that we sell across the US through some of the country’s largest retailers. We offer a transitional job in dry food manufacturing designed to provide women immediate income, arrange support services to overcome barriers to employment, and teach the job readiness and life skills needed to get and keep a job. Through their work at the Bean Project, the women learn to stand tall, find their purpose and break the cycle of poverty. Because when you change a woman’s life, you change her family’s life.”

My pick is this old fashioned chili and cornbread gift bundle for $13:

Ziyada

EMPOWERS: Women and men in India

SELLS: tablecloths, aprons, pillow covers, bags, holiday decorations, and more

DISCOUNT CODE: 25% off from Nov. 15 to Dec. 15 using the code “ScrapingRaisins”

Ziyada provides meaningful employment in a safe, loving environment for twenty-two women (and two men) in an impoverished area of North India. *Recommended by my friend living in India. I love this canvas tote bag for $18.00:

Other Incredible Ethical Companies: 

These companies are partnering with many different artisans and/or fair trade businesses around the world to provide quality products to empower men and women around the globe:

Accompany

Equal Exchange

Global Girlfriend

Finders and Makers

The Flourish Market

Global Goods Partners

The Honest Consumer

Justly Market

Karama Collection

Krochet Kids

The Little Market

Mercy House

Noonday Collection

Simple Switch

Ten Thousand Villages

Trades of Hope

Please leave links to other ethical sites you love. There were so many more that I couldn’t include. And share this post to spread the word on these amazing companies!

Sign up for the monthly-ish newsletter and I’ll send you chapter 1 of Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness:

Ethical Gift List (2019 Edition) I aim to keep each gift below $50.00, since that's generally my budget for Christmas gifts. Not only have I added a few more companies and individual artists to the list, but nearly two dozen offered discounts to Scraping Raisins readers this year! #ethicalgift #ethicalcompany #ethicalshopping #ethicalconsumer #fairtrade #greenliving

* Images from various shops

**Contains some Amazon affiliate links

Photo by Mel Poole on Unsplash

Book Review of God’s Many Voices: Learning to Listen, Expectant to Hear

Although it can be difficult to pinpoint my exact “moment of salvation” on a timeline, if I go by that day as a ten-year-old when I knelt by my bed, asked Jesus to forgive me of my sins, and offered my life to God, I’d say I’ve been a Christian for thirty years now.

But just as you often hear of martial problems popping up around the twenty, thirty, or forty-year marks, the past couple years of walking with Jesus have been the hardest—mainly because he’s been the most silent. (Or perhaps because I’ve been the most distracted.) But I’ve also felt distant from God as I’ve ogled the shenanigans of the Western Christian church in the news more often than I’ve sat at the feet of Jesus. I’ve been ashamed to be a Christian because the church often looks so different from the Jesus I thought I knew.

So when I picked up Liz Ditty’s book, I’m embarrassed to confess that I didn’t have any expectations of meeting God within the pages. I should have known that with a book called God’s Many Voices: Learning to Listen, Expectant to Hear, God just might have something to say.

I read almost the entire book in one sitting this past weekend during a getaway with my husband. Like the nerds we are, we sat reading for hours in the loft at my parents’ house in the Rocky Mountains, keeping an eye out for the herd of elk wintering at their home in Grand Lake, Colorado. I kept giving my husband the side-eye, wondering if he saw the occasional tear fall or if he was getting annoyed by my furious underlining or vocal responses of “yes” and “hm” as I read.

Even though I think Liz and I are about the same age, as I read, I felt like the author was a trusted older sister sharing her life with me and giving me a peek behind the veil to learn from her relationship with God. Through wise, open, and honest personal stories, Liz neatly unzipped the truths of the Bible in ways I hadn’t considered before. She made me envious of her relationship with Jesus in the best sense of the word—she made me yearn for that kind of relationship myself.

After finishing the book, I feel inspired to spend time with God again on a daily basis. And I want to talk about God again in community with my husband, children, and friends. Liz discusses Bible reading, prayer, and listening in such a compelling way that it made me want to wake up early and begin seeking God like I have in the past. Her writing is clear, beautiful, and winsome, but she also manages to offer plenty of practical tips and ideas for pursuing and listening for the voice of God in our daily lives.

If you are in a wilderness season, a silent stretch, or have hit an apathetic patch in your relationship with God, this book may be just what you need to remind you of the joy, peace, and delight that comes from a thriving relationship with God. As a spiritual guide, mentor, and teacher, Liz will lead you straight to Jesus himself and remind you how to commune with him again.

***

I finally bought this book when I noticed it was super cheap on Amazon--$7.58 down from $16.99! I noticed she also has an audio book. If I were you, I’d pick up several copies of God’s Many Voices to give as Christmas gifts! (And if you do buy it, would you be willing to leave an honest review on Goodreads, Barnes & Noble, and Amazon? This helps authors more than you know!)

  • This post contains Amazon affiliate links

Connecting with Cameroon Refugees in Idaho

By Jessica Peretti | Instagram: @roonieandlucia

This summer I had the opportunity to return as a counselor at a Bible camp I worked at in college. I was thrilled to head to the mountains to spend the week with some first to third graders. I donned my staff shirt, put on a brave face, and led them in hikes, games, songs and adventure. Over those few days, I saw eight little girls bond over games, songs and giggles.

One of my girls, Sarah, was a refugee from Cameroon. Our counterpart male cabin also had eight boys, and two of those boys, John and Dylan, were Sarah’s cousins. Idaho is not a particularly diverse state. In high school we would joke about the many shades of white in Idaho. But in Boise we have a pocket of refugee families. The churches that supported the camp also helped refugees adjust to American life.


Each morning, I would coo softly to the girls, “It’s time to wake up ladies.” I’d move by each of the bunks and pat the heads of each one until their eyes fluttered open.

Sarah would look at me, smile, grab my arm and say “I’m soooo tired!” with a huge smile plastered on her face. Despite her exhaustion she was the first one dressed and ready to head out. Later in the day, when my eyes would barely stay open, Sarah would run up to me, wrap her arms around me and exclaim “You are my second favorite counselor!” To which I would fall to the floor proclaiming the injustice of it all, as I should be her first favorite counselor. Her smiles and laughter fueled me into the next hours of our day. At the end of the week, I drove Sarah and her cousins back to Boise.


We loaded into my car and headed out on the long drive back to the city. The two boys mostly spoke French, and did not seek any attention from me. “Any of you guys want a coffee stop?” I asked as we pulled into the biggest town we’d hit until we arrived home.

“Yes!” The ruckus from the back almost drove me off the road, but we made it into the shop.

“All right kiddos, you can each pick one treat. What were you thinking, John?” John looked up at me with big eyes and grabbed the largest rice krispy treat from the top of the pile. I bought coffee, and we headed back onto the road. “John what’s your favorite candy?” I glanced back at him in the rearview mirror, and he looked at me.

“Snickers!” He eventually answered and returned to speaking to Dylan in French.

“Dylan,” I asked, “what’s your favorite color?” he paused, looking equally confused and answered, “Green!”

“You know,” Sarah chimed in. “Our teacher can speak French.” My heart melted. She’d called me ‘teacher’ a few times over the week, but every time it caught me off guard.

“Yeah, I know a little,” I said. She beamed at me from the back seat. “I can tell you the story of the Little Red Hen in French.”

“Yes please!” Sarah exclaimed. I recited the story I had memorized in high school.

“Il y a une petite poule rouge.” Giggles erupted from the back seat. “What? Is my accent really that bad?”

“Yes!” John yelled. A light flickered in his eyes– one I hadn’t yet seen the whole week we’d spent together. “I cannot understand what you are saying!”

“I can.” Sarah answered. “She said ‘Once upon a time there was a little red woman.’”

“No!” Dylan joined in the fun. After stumbling through the rest of the story, they clutched their sides with laughter. The next three hours flew by, and I connected with the kids in ways I hadn’t until that point.

We drove to the church to meet their parents, and the kids bolted from the car. They ran around yelling and playing. Their parents arrived, and the two boys didn’t even look back–just rushed into their parent’s car. Sarah hugged me.

“Promise me you’ll come back next summer?” I said.

“Yes! You’ll be there right?” Sarah asked.

“I’ll try my best.” I shook her dad’s hand, and told him Sarah was a fun kid to have in my cabin. (All of this was in broken French/English.)

I climbed back into my car, soaking up the silence, and surveyed the damage from their lunches in the back seat. I had spent the week trying to connect with Dylan and John. I had asked them questions and tried to play with them, but it wasn’t until I attempted to speak French with them that they came alive. I wondered how many positive interactions those kids had with adults who only spoke English.

In a world where everything for these kids was different–the culture, the language, the people and the surroundings (aka camp)–it must have been comforting to have someone try to connect with their culture rather than thrust our culture upon them.

Jesus tells us to welcome the stranger. I wonder how much easier it would be to welcome strangers if we allowed ourselves to be strangers in the cultures of those we are trying to welcome. Instead of inundating foreign visitors, immigrants and refugees with the new, perhaps it would be better to share some of what they know and love. Maybe that way, I’ll eventually become Sarah’s first favorite counselor.

About Jessica:

Jessica Peretti is a software engineer by day and a blogger by night. Her interests include hiking, running, backpacking, coding and weight-lifting. She loves working with kids and singing with her church’s choir every Sunday. Follow her on Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, or on her website

No More Strangers {guest post}

By Jessica Udall | Website: www.lovingthestrangerblog.com

It’s a cloudless, cool morning in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. Strapping my nine-month-old on my back in the style of Ethiopian mothers, I leave our fifth floor apartment and descend down into the hustle and bustle of pedestrian traffic: shawled women carrying heavy loads of groceries, groups of uniformed school kids on their way to class, traveling salesmen hawking their brooms, mops, and other wares, and blue and white taxis weaving and blasting syncopated rhythms. I attempt nonchalance as I pass shade-standing onlookers who call out “Ferenj (foreigner), Hello!” and then elbow their friends and chuckle at my accented Amharic greeting.

There is no way to be cool, to fit in. I feel the eyes staring.

I am a stranger.

I duck into a shadowy shop selling aromatic produce along with all manner of convenience items. This shop will become a near-daily stop for my back-riding baby and me— for phone cards, for toilet paper, for powdered milk—but I do not know this yet.

At this point, I have only been in the country for a few weeks, and this is my first solo shopping trip. Such a simple task, yet I am nearly paralyzed with fear.

“Can I help you?” asks a teenage clerk.

He is trying to be professional but looks puzzled that a foreigner has entered his shop. I look at him, Amharic words bobbing in a sea of adrenaline, just out of reach. I take a deep breath. I blink. And finally, a single word comes out as a squeaky plea: an English word that (mercifully) is the same in Ethiopian Amharic.

“Mango?”

Relieved that I am finally speaking, the clerk smiles and starts throwing softball-sized, multicolored fruits into a hanging scale, gesturing towards the numbers and raising his eyebrows in question. I hold up my hand, “Enough.”

A second Amharic word! And he understood! The joy of communication thrills me, and I wipe the anxious sweat from my palms before reaching into my purse for Ethiopian birr.

He says a number as he ties the heavy plastic bag. But what number? I can’t remember. I ask him to repeat, looking at the available birr in my hand like it is an indecipherable puzzle. I feel stupid.

He grabs a notepad and writes the number: 27. Saved! I gasp for air, heart pounding, as I try to remember which color is for which denomination: red for ten, blue for five, white for one. After much too long deliberating, I give him exact change, say thank you, and hurry out of the store, my cheeks burning with humiliation.

I used to be good at this … this living of daily life, I think, wistfully. I wasn’t always this incompetent. But what used to work in my home country won’t work here, and I must start over. From zero. From scratch.

Things looked up from there. From the beginning, I (an awkwardly bumbling cultural baby) was warmly welcomed into Ethiopian society and helped along my way by friends and strangers alike. Even the chuckling, staring onlookers would often step in to give directions or fend off a persistent heckler when I really needed it.

Ethiopian culture as a whole is exquisitely hospitable, and I was the beneficiary of that beautiful openness. I was welcomed to that fruit shop dozens and dozens of times, to all the shops around it, and to homes and churches, weddings and funerals. I was shown love to the point that at least in my neighborhood, I was no longer a stranger, but a known friend.

After years in Ethiopia, my family returned to the United States for a season, and my eye is now magnetically drawn toward confused, newly arrived immigrants. I sense their fear and shame and frustration on a visceral level, since my own memories of those feelings are indelibly imprinted on my memory. The feeling of being a stranger is hard to forget.

But I fear for what immigrants will find when they settle in the US, or other Western countries. Will they ever lose their designation as “stranger”? Will they ever be known as “friend”? Americans are—to put it delicately —not really known for our hospitality. Our focus on minding our own business and taking care of our own can come across as cold indifference. But how can we do otherwise when individualism is the very air we breathe?

Most of what I now know about hospitality has been learned through first unlearning presuppositions that predispose me to “every man is an island” isolation. In its place, I’m following a different path, inspired by the lives of non-Westerners who have welcomed me so graciously, who have shown me that getting to know others and being known by them is one of life’s greatest gifts. I’m learning to swallow the excuses about being “too busy” to unwrap it. How can a person be too busy for loving connection?

Ethiopians welcomed me when I was a newly-arrived in Ethiopia, as I said, but I’ve also been amazed by how immigrants to the US have graciously welcomed me (a local) into their lives. Those who ought to be honored as guests are eager to become hosts—inviting me into their apartments, their circles, their confidence. Their bent towards hospitality is infectious, life-giving and paradigm-shifting for me. I shudder to think that I could have missed this: the quiet metamorphosis from stranger into beloved, more beautiful than the journey of the most brilliant butterfly.

“I was a stranger, and you did not welcome me,” says Jesus in Matthew 25. What a tragically missed opportunity. Our God is one who hides behind things that are scary, calling to us: “Come closer. Draw near to what you fear. I’m on the other side!”

In a world plagued by “stranger danger,” Jesus is dancing to a different beat. When I’m dancing in sync with him, I realize I’ve never met a stranger, even if they are from a distant place I’ve never visited.

As I meet immigrants for the first time—whether they’re overwhelmed and swimming in adrenaline like I was on that first solo shopping trip in Addis Ababa, or exhausted by year after year of cultural stress—I see Jesus standing beyond the awkwardness of new beginnings, ready to welcome us into the beauty of knowing and being known.

About Jessica:

Jessica Udall writes on crossing cultures and following Jesus beyond polarized rhetoric and into street-level everyday love for those who are different. She is married to a wonderful Ethiopian man and has two children. Her favorites include having conversations with interesting people and drinking strong Ethiopian coffee, preferably at the same time. You can visit her at her blog, www.lovingthestrangerblog.com.

Photo by HOTCHICKSING on Unsplash

Revisiting Hospitality After Life Takes a Turn {guest post}

By Heather Legge | Instagram: @heatherand2girls

Hospitality growing up was backyard grilling, a living room full of people eating Christmas cookies after a local community concert, encouraging cards written to friends and family, bowls of popped corn for teenage sleepovers, and a listening ear. It was not unusual for neighborhood kids to be playing in the yard even if we weren’t there, or for a kid to walk in and open the refrigerator for a snack. I truly believed this would be the story of my adult life – partly because I have so many happy memories and partly because it was the example I was given.

In my early years growing up, my mom had an open door. Friends came in and out and all the kids of my parents’ friends were friends. If someone needed help, it was given without hesitation; everyone took care of each other. We moved to New England when I was eight and the houses were a bit more spread apart than the close-knit neighborhood I started life in. Regardless, if someone had a new baby, my mom was there.

If someone came over, the door was open.

When my friends wanted a place to hang out, it was our house. Even in the four years that she battled ovarian cancer, my mom opened her heart and home to others.

I moved south after college and quickly got engaged to be married. The easy-going way of hospitality that I knew was exchanged for china dishes, elegantly casual attire, formal wedding and baby showers, closed doors, unspoken rules, and enormous homes kept pristine by cleaning services. I was in culture shock and my mom had died a couple years before, so I couldn’t ask her if this was some kind of new normal and what was expected of me.

When I became a wife and then a mother, I was so overwhelmed that I rarely invited people over. I was ashamed of my house not being perfect. Even when people dropped off meals after my babies were born, I felt silent judgment for not having it all together. I was also confused because the visits seemed to be for the purpose of holding the babies and not for actually helping. This is not the way my mom did it. If she brought a meal to a new mom or someone who had been sick, she was also washing the sink full of dishes or doing a load of laundry.

I began a small rebellion in my late twenties by hosting college students and purposefully leaving dishes in the sink, piles of clutter lying around, and occasionally some laundry that needed to be folded. This was real life and I was determined to show that it was not about having an impeccable home and well-designed plans. I was going counter-culture and it felt good and right. I reclaimed my dream of my kids getting older and eventually having an open door and yard for their friends and my neighbors. We moved into a small neighborhood with cul-de-sacs and even though there were no kids nearby, I knew they would eventually come.

My home would be the one with the swinging door and coffee on the porch, backyard barbecues, and the sounds of kids playing. But, just as we all find ourselves in situations that were not what we dreamed of, so did I.

Divorce, moving from my neighborhood to an apartment complex, and a difficult illness took away my hopes of an open door and yard. I probably spent too many years grieving this and other losses, but that doesn’t mean that new dreams can’t be imagined.

It’s easy with a chronic illness to become isolated and lonely and to feel forgotten. I am exhausted all the time and my income is impossibly small, both of which make it difficult to go out or to provide for guests. I found myself not making plans to go out in my free time in case I didn’t feel good. I didn’t invite people over for the same reasons. I would sit at home, alone, feeling sorry for myself.

There are definitely times where rest has to be my number one priority, but I also need to revisit hospitality and what it means now.

My new-to-me-life equals new-to-me-ideas about hospitality. It’s more about opening my heart and making places wherever I am, whether at home, a coffee shop, at work, a friend’s house, or out in the community. If I am already going to be somewhere, I can find a way to make it a place of welcome; extend myself as a welcoming person. It’s even possible to do hospitality from afar by writing notes. Who doesn’t love finding a card in the mailbox amidst bills?

My heart softened a couple years ago when I had made plans to get together with another mom at my church. We hadn’t met, but had messaged on Facebook a few times, realizing we had some things in common. We made plans to meet for coffee. On the day we were meeting, I woke up feeling unwell. I texted her and let her know that I didn’t think I’d be able to go out and meet but that she was welcome to come to my apartment. She showed up, and I answered the door still in my pjs.

I welcomed her, handed her a blanket to use while sitting on my couch, and climbed back into my comfy chair under a pile of blankets and a heating pad. I felt like the epitome of a bad host, but I also didn’t want to pass up an opportunity to make a friend and to extend welcome no matter the circumstances. As my new friend got ready to leave, she told me she had never felt more cozy and welcomed than she had that morning, simply because there were absolutely no expectations. She could be completely herself because of how low-key it was. I was astonished. I could do this!

I lovingly refer to this now as “blanket hospitality.” If you come over, make yourself comfortable on my couch with blankets and pillows and conversation. We might have coffee or popsicles. All are welcome, and you will see my piles and messes, but maybe that’s just what we need to do to show others that no one is perfect and that the relationship is far more important than appearances.

About Heather:

Heather Legge is originally from New England, but currently lives in Virginia with her two girls. She tries to make places in her heart for those who are hurting. She loves reading, coffee, and is learning to play the violin. You can follow her on Instagram at @heatherand2girls.

Photo by Victoria Bilsborough on Unsplash

Why Authors Do Book Signings (It’s Not for the Reasons You Might Think)

The bookstore manager, Pam, takes me behind the desk to the backroom of Macdonald Book Shop in Estes Park, Colorado. I plop my bags on a table in a snug break room. One door leads to a bathroom.

“The lock doesn’t work, so be sure to knock first. Then leave the door ajar when you go out so we know it’s available,” Pam tells me.

Another doorway leads to a tiny office with a desk facing a window. The owner, Paula, is an elderly woman with a warm smile and curved upper spine. Later in the afternoon, I’ll see her sitting at this desk and imagine she’s ordering books for customers; or perusing reviews online to determine which books will sell to tourists and her loyal customers.

Pam steers me out another door to a room in the bookstore with a worn brown leather chair Pam calls “Grandpa’s chair” in front of a fireplace. A table is next to the chair, with a small poster of my book cover announcing the book signing today from 2 to 4 pm. I’ll sit in Grandpa’s chair between the kid’s book section and the Colorado and Native American book section, which is rather large for a bookstore of this size. Later, another worker, Sally, will tell me she works at the Native American museum in Arizona, and I wonder if she’s responsible for this sizable selection.

I scribble a nametag that I brought for myself: “Local Author Leslie Verner” and stick it to my dress, then hide my pen and post-it notes behind the display. I prop my clipboard with a sign-up for my newsletter on the floor next to the table and wonder if I should sit, stand, or chase down customers to talk about my book (as Pam suggested).

This is my first book signing for my first book. I’m giddy. Writer friends had advised me to avoid scheduling book signings because they’re awkward, not profitable, and are time consuming. But independent bookstores have my heart. If my husband and I travel to a new town, the first thing we do is identify the coffee shops and independent bookstores. We wander to our respective genres: him, to the sci-fi, fantasy, and nature writing aisles; me, to the poetry, essay, and writing sections. If we have our kids with us, we take turns waiting with them in the kid section and rotate after some minutes so we can browse kid-less.

It’s a Friday and overcast, a rarity for the end of August in Colorado. The crowds of tourists have thinned since I stopped by just two weeks before to drop off some posters and copies of my book. Kids have returned to school and summer is quickly melding into fall.

Settling into Grandpa’s chair, I wonder if anyone will stop by at all.

I had contacted the local newspaper to alert them of my signing. Later, Pam will send me a clip of the article—a write up from my Goodreads description of my book, a headshot, and my book cover—vibrant even in newsprint. All three book sales today will result from local residents reading this article and stopping by to meet me and have me sign the book they buy.

What I sacrifice in time and actual sales, I make up for in conversation. I talk to Sally, the employee who volunteers at the museum in Arizona. She’s worked here every summer for over twenty years. I ask her if she reads a ton and she answers, “I try to. But at my age, I’ve decided to only read non-fiction.” I nod, thinking of the truth embedded even in the fiction books I read, but choose not to disagree. I ask her if she’s read any Joan Chittister and tell her I’m reading The Gift of Years, a book on aging. She smiles, “I think I understand aging pretty well.” I wonder how old she is. Seventy? Seventy-five? I have no idea, but I wonder if I’ll be more choosy with my books as I age, knowing my time is limited.

I talk to a mother and daughter for a long time about transition, finding friends, and community—they are dropping her off at college in Boulder. They seem excited about my book until the mother reads the back cover. I wonder if the word “Christian” in the description turns her off.

“How long’d it take you to write it?” another man asks, sauntering by as I sit in Grandpa’s chair, reading my library book in the lull.

I laugh, “Twenty years?” I say. “But from the time I started thinking about writing it to actual publication, about two years.”

A few minutes later, I see a man reading the back cover of my book at the front of the store. I hear Pam tell him the author is here if he’d like to meet her. I see him look up, then stride back to meet me. I stand and he leans down to point at my book on the table, flipping it to the back. “You say here this book is about ‘holy hospitality’ and ‘how hospitality is at the heart of Christian community,’ but when I read about Christians in the news …” he drops off.

I know what he’s going to say. He starts again, “I grew up kind of going to church, but it seems to me the church isn’t doing what it should be doing.” I didn’t disagree. I told him my book was less of a commentary on the church at large, and more of a consideration of small pivots of faith to follow Jesus and love people around us.

Later, Paula writes me a check in the backroom for the five books I had sold–three today and two of the ones on display in the previous weeks–and three more to keep in the shop ($12 total profit for eight books after subtracting what I paid my publisher for the copies). Pam helps me gather the remaining books and we talk about my conversation with this man.

“I kind of overheard it, but didn’t hear all of it,” Pam says. I tell them I had forgotten the word “Christian” was even on the back of my book and was taken off guard.

“I wish the publisher hadn’t used that word,” I say. “It’s such a trigger word for people in our society.” The women agree. Sadly, the word “Christian” often carries a negative connotation for people today.

Afterward, I order a vanilla latte (using nearly half my profit) at Inkwell and Brew, a coffeeshop behind Macdonald Bookshop, and settle into a small booth overlooking the river glimmering through downtown Estes.

I’ve already asked whether the book writing was worth it. But was the two-hour signing worth it?

I had about seven long conversations on friendship, community, isolation, and the state of Christianity in the world. I advertised my book in the local newspaper and had my book on display in the window of an indie bookstore I’ve visited many times over the years. The booksellers handed out my bookmarks to local residents stopping by to pick up the books they had ordered and random tourists buying the latest bestsellers. Pam put up posters with my book cover around town. And in the days to come, if a customer is looking for a book on spirituality, hospitality, or community, my guess is that Sally, Pam, Paula, and the other employees will steer them to my book.

As in all aspects of the creative life, it’s best not to gauge success by dollar signs. Creators deal in a mysterious currency. Did our art act as a conduit for connection, depth, and soul? If so, I call this “success.”

My book Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness is now available where all books are sold online, but also in some brick and mortar bookstores–check your local Barnes and Noble, or support your local independent bookstore by ordering it from there! You can also order it from your local library.

SO many ways to get your hands on it! 🙂 Sign up for my newsletter and I’ll send you chapter 1 for free!

Why Authors Do Book Signings (It’s Not for the Reasons You Might Think)

*This post contains Amazon affiliate links

Subscribe to my monthly-ish newsletter and I’ll send you the first chapter of my book Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness for FREE!

Welcome to Scraping Raisins!