Women, Gifted to Lead ~ A Reading List

The books and websites on this list were recommended to me by women and men I respect. I haven’t read everything (yet!), but I’ve been working my way through the list. I’ve put an asterisk next to the ones I’ve read so far and recommend.

I’m grateful for these words, explanations, illustrations, and Scripture commentaries that are helping to articulate what I already believed in my bones to be true:

God gifts women to serve at every level of church leadership. A church that doesn’t urge women to use their God-given gifts is anemic, unhealthy, and missing out on a full-bodied church experience. History and patriarchy have perpetuated this enormous loss for both women and men in the church and society. But it doesn’t have to be this way. Not anymore.

Here are some books that will open your eyes to the faulty ways the church goes about reading, interpreting, and teaching the Bible, especially as it pertains to women:

*The Blue Parakeet by Scot McKnight

Discovering Biblical Equality: Biblical, Theological, Cultural, and Practical Perspectives by Christa L. McKirland (Associate Editor) Ronald W. Pierce (Editor) Cynthia Long Westfall (Editor)


*Emboldened: A Vision for Empowering Women in Ministry by Tara Beth Leach


The Equality Workbook: Freedom in Christ from the Oppression of Patriarchy by Helga and Bob Evans

Finally Feminist: A Pragmatic Christian Understanding of Gender by John G. Stackhouse, Jr.

*Gender Roles and the People of God: Rethinking What We Were Taught about Men and Women in the Church by Alice Matthews


*Half the Church: Recapturing God’s Global Vision for Women by Carolyn Custis James

Icons of Christ: A Biblical and Systematic Theology for Women’s Ordination by William Witt

***The Making of Biblical Womanhood: How the Subjugation of Women Became Gospel Truth by Beth Allison Barr

Malestrom: Manhood Swept Into the Currents of a Changing World by Carolyn Custis James

The Ministry of Women in the New Testament: Reclaiming the Biblical Vision for Church Leadership by Dorothy Lee

Ordaining Women by B.T. Roberts

Paul and Gender: Reclaiming the Apostle’s Vision for Men and Women in Christ by Cynthia Westfall

Paul, Women, & Wives: Marriage and Women’s Ministry in the Letters of Paul by Craig S. Keener

Paul Through Mediterranean Eyes: Cultural Studies in 1 Corinthians by Kenneth E. Bailey

Reclaiming Eve: The Identity and Calling of Women in the Kingdom of God by Suzanne Burden

*Recovering from Biblical Manhood and Womanhood: How the Church Needs to Rediscover Her Purpose by Aimee Byrd

*Rediscovering Scripture’s Vision for Women: Fresh Perspectives on Disputed Texts by Lucy Peppiatt

Slaves, Women Homosexuals: Exploring the Hermeneutics of Cultural Analysis by William J. Webb

Womanist Midrash by Dr. Wilda C. Gafney

A Women’s Lectionary for the Whole Church: Year A by Dr. Wilda C. Gafney


The Women’s Lectionary by Ashley M. Wilcox

Others:

*Beyond Sex Roles by Gilbert Bilezikian

Great Women of the Christian Faith by Edith Deen

How I Changed My Mind about Women in Leadership: Compelling Stories from Prominent Evangelicals by Alan F. Johnson (Editor)

Junia is Not Alone by Scot McKnight

Women in a Patriarchal World by Elaine Storkey

Online Resources:

Marg Mowczko–a website exploring the biblical theology of Christian egalitarianism.

The Junia Project–provides support, encouragement, and biblically-based resources to help women thrive in all areas of life.

CBE International–Proclaiming God’s design for equal partnership between men and women.

“One in Christ: A Week of Mutuality,” a blog series by Rachel Held Evans dedicated to discussing an egalitarian view of gender—including relevant biblical texts and practical applications. The goal is to show how scripture, tradition, reason, and experience all support a posture of equality toward women, one that favors mutuality rather than hierarchy, in the home, Church, and society.

This post includes affiliate links for Bookshop, an online bookstore with a mission to financially support local, independent bookstores.

Advice for Writing a Book


[In the style of Verlyn Klinkenborg, one of my favorite authors on writing. I wrote this after writing and publishing my first book so I wouldn’t forget–just in case a next book wants to be written.]

1. Your book proposal is the blueprint of your book, but it will change.

2. Save at least 15 percent of your advance to use for marketing your book later.

3. Your final draft should bear little resemblance to your first draft. Tell (lie to) yourself: “It’s okay to write terribly. No one ever has to read this.”

4. You’ll be tempted to quote people smarter and more eloquent than you. Don’t let this become a crutch. Say it your way (and ignore all The Voices telling you why you can’t or shouldn’t do this work).

5. When you revise, print out your pages and mark them up. Highlight your verbs and nouns—are they vibrant, active, and concrete?

6. Schedule days (and maybe even weeks) to rest and let your manuscript sit, like dough rising.

7. Carve out space for solitude and listening. Go on long walks, runs, or bike rides alone. Pay attention.

8. Build up a support network years before you publish.

9. Count the cost of writing a book.

10. Print out your entire manuscript and bind it like a book. Do this after every major revision. Read your entire manuscript aloud several times over many months.

11. Use scissors to revise. Sometimes cutting, rearranging, and retyping the entire thing will help smooth out the wrinkles in your transitions.

12. Spend 80 percent of your social media real estate promoting others, 20 percent promoting yourself.

13. Save the stories you cut to use for articles and essays later.

14. Don’t apologize for writing, selling, or marketing your book. If you’re not excited about it, no one else will be.

15. Figure out how to use Scrivener. It will save you tons of time in the end.

16. Social media is not writing.

17. Platform building is not writing.

18. Reading books about writing is not writing.

19. Fans aren’t doing you a favor by buying your book. You did them a favor by writing it.

20. For inspiration, read books about writing or listen to podcasts about writing. (But remember: this is not writing.)

21. To tame anxiety, read poetry.

22. Be a generous writer, reader, reviewer, and fan of others.

23. Be yourself. Trust you have wisdom, words, or wit to add to the conversation.

24. A book launch doesn’t end the day the book releases. This is not a finish line, just another starting line.

25. Your book is not you. Let it go out into the world to be what it will be, then write what’s next.

26. Stay rooted in love.

Have you written a book before? What advice would you add?

Photo by Jonas Jacobsson on Unsplash

This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

Rethinking Dinner, Worship, and the Community of God~Review of We Will Feast by Kendall Vanderslice

“How do we bond despite our differences? We do so when we grasp and share the most basic need of all humanity: the need to eat and drink,” Kendall Vanderslice writes in her book that released last week (p. 157). I first heard Vanderslice share a lecture on a L’Abri podcast called A Sacred Story of Meals. So when I heard she was writing a book, I was eager to read it because I knew it would be smart, relatable, and inspiring. I was right.

We Will Feast: Rethinking Dinner, Worship, and the Community of God summarizes itself in the title. It’s about food, gathering as followers of God, and how a bit of creativity can reorient us toward one another. The book is organized around Vanderslice’s experiences at several different dinner churches around the United States—from New York City to California, Michigan to Texas, among others—that she visited over the course of one year. Far from a simple summary of those experiences, she draws us into meals together around tables, in gardens, pubs, or at potlucks, allowing us to imagine a different kind of life together.

She weaves her expertise as a baker into each tale, expanding on communion, feasting, and the theology that connects us to one another. She writes that “worship around the table is a communal search for every glimmer of goodness in an aching world” (p. 167). This book offers that glimmer of goodness, granting a glimpse into other peoples’ windows of experience that may differ from our own.

If you’re looking for a hopeful book about church, this book for you. If you’re looking for a book that breaks open the boxes we squeeze God, the church, and worship into, this book is for you. And if you need refreshment, encouragement, or affirmation that community can still be found within the church, then this book is definitely for you. This book will make you hungry for steaming bread and savory soup, but especially for deep connection and intentional community. It will remind you that when we gather, we experience just a bit more of God’s presence in our midst.

Sign up for my monthly(ish) newsletter and I’ll send you a list of hospitality resources for uncertain hosts (as well as book/article/podcast recommendations).

*This post includes Amazon affiliate links. I received a copy of We Will Feast from Eerdmans for review. All opinions are my own.

Afraid of Poetry? Start Here. {guest post}

By Charlotte Donlon | Twitter: @charlottedonlon

I have always loved poetry, but I have also always been afraid of poetry. When I started graduate school three years ago, one of my assigned readings was T.S. Eliot’s Four Quartets. I was terrified of not understanding Eliot so I read Tania Runyan’s How to Read a Poem, too.

I managed to make it through that first residency and those first class discussions without embarrassing myself too much. I was also able to let go of my insecurity enough to learn a few things about Eliot and his work.

The MFA in creative writing program at Seattle Pacific University gave me many gifts. One of those gifts is poetry, even though my primary genre is creative nonfiction. After reading Eliot, I kept reading poetry. I wrote papers about poetry. I discussed poetry. I even became friends with poets.

I can now say I’m no longer afraid of poetry. I need it. I need to swim in words and language and ideas, and reading poetry is the easiest way for me to sink into those seas.

When I read poetry, I slow down and pay more attention to words and their sounds and their places in the world. I also pay more attention to my places in the world.

Poets invite me to enter their waters and discover more about them, more about myself, and more about the spaces between us. They invite me to make new connections and think about things from different perspectives.

They invite me to consider what happens if we don’t worry about rules, get rid of punctuation, and sit with the silence that exists between stanzas.

Over the past couple of months, my relationship with poetry has deepened. I began writing poetry and I taught a poetry workshop at my local library. I had no idea these sorts of things would ever happen. I guess sometimes we end up doing things we never could have asked or imagined. I guess our actions have consequences.

If you have been interested in exploring poetry, but have been afraid to dive in, please don’t hesitate any longer.

Here are links to some of my favorite poets and some of their poems:

NATASHA OLADOKUN

ASHLEY M. JONES

KAVEH AKBAR

ROBERT CORDING

ADA LIMÓN

MARY SZYBIST

Come on in. The water feels great.

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What about you? Who are your favorite poets?

Charlotte lives in Birmingham, Alabama with her husband and their two children. She recently earned an MFA in creative writing from Seattle Pacific University, and she does freelance writing and copywriting. You can find her online at www.charlottedonlon.com, on Twitter at @charlottedonlon, and on Instagram at @charlottedonlon. You can sign up for her weekly email newsletter about reading, writing, and creativity via her website at charlottedonlon.com.

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Our theme for April is “Books and Writing,” and I hope to share my favorite books, podcasts and resources for new writers.  Click here if you’re new to the series and want to catch up on old posts. Be sure to follow me on social media and sign up for my newsletter below so you can be alerted of new posts. Please get in touch at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com if you are interested in guest posting on this topic!

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My 14 Favorite Books on Writing and Creativity

Sometimes I’d rather read about writing than actually write. Perhaps I secretly think I’ll glean enough from their advice and experience to produce a crop without the same effort? I pared this list down a bit (believe it or not), and while the majority are about writing, a few are for creatives, by creatives.

Do yourself a favor and dash over to Goodreads, Amazon or to the library and add these to your ever-expanding reading list.

The Artists Way, by Julia Cameron

One of my favorite things about this book are the quotes in the margins. Before I begin writing, I sometimes browse through for writing inspiration. I often think of her reference to “restock the pond” and “refill the well” when I feel creatively depleted. She says, “When we work at our art, we dip into the well of our experience and scoop out images. Because we do this, we need to learn how to put images back.” (p. 21)

The Art of Memoir, by Mary Karr

Mary Karr is hilarious. I heard her interviewed on several podcasts before I read a single book of hers and I confess I still haven’t actually read one of her memoirs. As I’ve been writing, I often think about how she said the reader needs to feel like they’ve zipped themselves into the author’s skin. (Kind of gross and Shel Silverstein-esq, but so helpful.) And I’m going to give away the ending because it makes me cry:

“None of us can ever know the value of our lives, or how our separate and silent scribbling may add to the amenity of the world, if only by how radically it changes us, one and by one.” (p. 218)

The Art of the Personal Essay, edited by Phillip Lopate

I had this anthology for an advanced writing class in college and LOVED it. It’s not a writing book, per se, but has examples of some of the best essays of all time by Annie Dillard, G.K. Chesterton, Virginia Woolf, James Baldwin and Adrienne Rich, among many others.

 

 

The Artful Edit: On the Practice of Editing Yourself, by Susan Bell

I first heard about this from Ann Kroeker on her incredibly helpful podcast for writers and quickly checked it out of the library. I’m struggling to write my first manuscript, so I wasn’t sure if I should be editing as I go along, or if I should wait until it is all completed to wade back through the mire to make sense out of it all. This book helped me figure out a strategy that works for me and provided some tools to edit both at the micro and macro level. My only tip would be to make sure you’ve read The Great Gatsby before reading this book because Bell uses that book as an example in many of the chapters.

Bird by Bird, by Anne Lamott

I’ve listened to many hours of writers sharing about writing and their favorite books and this one is probably mentioned the most frequently. Lamott loves to share the story about her brother who procrastinated on a project about birds for school and had to finish it the night before. Their father told him, “Son, we’ll just take it bird by bird,” and that became Lamott’s mantra for writing–just take it “bird by bird.” Along with this, the second most quoted part of this book is the author’s permission to create SFD’s, or “s**ty first drafts.” I’ve taken much consolation in that.

Breath for the Bones, by Luci Shaw

Less technical and more spiritual, this book spiritualizes the work of the Christian artist. My favorite parts are when she talks about the Holy Spirit as her muse and mentions walking around at attention, with her antennae combing the air. I once heard a writer say every book is a conversation with another book, and I feel like this book is in conversation with Madeleine L’Engle’s Walking on Water and Barabara Brown Taylor’s An Altar in the World. It’s probably one of my favorites in this list.

Letters to a Young Poet, by Rainer Maria Rilke

The main reason I list this book here is because it is so often quoted that I think every artist needs to at least say they have read it. Here’s the infamous quote (though the rest is worth reading as well): ”

“Go into yourself. Find out the reason that commands you to write; see whether it has spread its roots into the very depths of your heart; confess to yourself whether you would have to die if you were forbidden to write.

This most of all: ask yourself in the most silent hour of your night: must I write? Dig into yourself for a deep answer. And if this answer rings out in assent, if you meet this solemn question with a strong, simple “I must,” then build your life in accordance with this necessity; your whole life, even into its humblest and most indifferent hour, must become a sign and witness to this impulse. Then come close to Nature. Then, as if no one had ever tried before, try to say what you see and feel and love and lose…”

Life Creative, by Wendy Speake and Kelli Stuart

I read this book in the perfect moment of my writing career, just as I was beginning to wonder if it was worth it or possible to be a mother to little ones AND try to be a writer. Life Creative is the type of empowering, inspiring and fire-lighting book that women need to remind them they are called to this important work of being creators.

 

 

On Writing Well: The Classic Guide to Writing Non-fiction, by William Zinsser

This was also assigned reading in one of my writing classes nearly 20 years ago and when I reread it last year, I could see why. Zinsser’s voice is usually in my head as I edit: “Clutter is the enemy” (p. 15), “Do I need it at all? Probably I don’t” (p. 79), and “Every successful piece of nonfiction should leave the reader with one provocative thought that he or she didn’t have before” (p. 52). Thank you, sir. If you need a refresher on the craft of writing, this should be your go-to book.

Several Short Sentences About Writing, by Verlyn Klinkenborg

Similar to On Writing Well, this book celebrates simple, concise work. The entire book is written as a list of sentences, so you can see his point about varying sentence length play out throughout the book. He writes,

“No subject is so good that it can redeem indifferent writing. But good writing can make almost any subject interesting.” (p. 129) This book is a perfect mix of creative inspiration and technical advice on the craft of writing. It’s a quick read, but every sentence packs a punch (sometimes clichés are just exactly what you want to say…).

Walking on Water, by Madeline L’Engle

This is my all-time-favorite book on creativity and spirituality. I wrote a whole post about it for SheLoves here and often quote her in my work. My favorite quote from the book is this:

“If the work comes to the artist and says, ‘Here I am, serve me,’ then the job of the artist, great or small, is to serve. The amount of the artist’s talent is not what it is about. Jean Rhys said to an interviewer in the Paris Review, ‘Listen to me. All of writing is a huge lake. There are great rivers that feed the lake, like Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. And there are mere trickles, like Jean Rhys. All that matters is feeding the lake. I don’t matter. The lake matters. You must keep feeding the lake.” (p. 23) We feed the lake.

Writing Down the Bones, by Natalie Goldberg

I remember seeing a quote by Natalie Goldberg and being intrigued. The quote was something like, “Writers get to live life twice.” So I put her book on hold in the library and devoured it in less than a week. Now, as I write, I often think about the composting I mentioned in my last post and the redemption of what feels like waste as we write. This is a fabulous companion to the other writing books on your shelf. I wish I had bought it, not just checked it out of the library.

 

The Writing Life, by Annie Dillard

I read this book long before I started a blog, submitted an article or even began calling myself a writer. And when I shyly stepped naked onto the screen, Dillard’s words empowered me:

“Why do you never find anything written about that idiosyncratic thought you advert to, about your fascination with something no one else understands? Because it is up to you. There is something you find interesting, for a reason hard to explain. It is hard to explain because you have never read it on any page; there you begin. You were made and set here to give voice to this, your own astonishment.” (p. 67-68 emphasis mine)

Writing Tools: 50 Essential Strategies for Every Writer, by Roy Peter Clark

This is also a very practical book for writers who may have been at it a while and need to hone their craft. It’s added to my personal editing checklist as I read back through my drafts and consider if I’m using active verbs, being too wordy, or losing my subject in long sentences. This book feels a bit like when I used to study theory and practice scales as a piano student–less sexy, but very necessary.

On my “To Read” List:

A Writer’s Diary, by Virgina Woolf

The Art of Nonfiction, by Ayn Rand

Creativity Rules, by Brenda Seelig

If You Want to Write, by Brenda Ueland

Light the Dark, edited by Joe Fassler

Rumors of Water, by L.L. Barkat

Writing About Your Life, by William Zinnser

 

What are your favorite books about writing and creativity? I’d love to hear!

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Our theme for April is “Books and Writing,” and I hope to share my favorite books, podcasts and resources for new writers.  Be sure to follow me on social media and sign up for my newsletter below so you can be alerted of new posts. Please get in touch at scrapingraisins (dot) gmail (dot) com if you are interested in guest posting on this topic!

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Writing & Creativity #writing #writerslife #amwriting #booksonwriting #bookreview

10 Books on Simplifying

I roamed my shelves and wandered back into my blog archives to share some of my favorite books on simplicity. Do you have any favorites?

Bored and Brilliant: How Spacing Out Can Unlock Your Most Productive and Creative Self

If you’re looking for a book that will give you more reasons to slow down and put away your phone, then this one gives you plenty. Written by a thoughtful journalist, the book is well-researched, clearly written and very practical. I’ve enjoyed the company as I’ve been doing my Smartphone fast this month (and it has given me lots of reasons why stepping away from the constant connection is a good idea!).

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

This was a fabulous book, even though I found it very male-centric and focused more on people in the corporate world than in the creative world. That said, it was definitely applicable to anyone with a pulse in their body pushing them to live their best life. It was a quick read and challenged me to say no more often and prioritize how I spend my time (which is always a good thing).

 

Free Range Kids

We all know we shouldn’t be helicopter parents, but this book gives us permission to relax and let our kids be kids. If you need a book that will not add rules or guilt, then this is a wonderful book for “simplifying” your parenting.

 

 

 

The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up

For all my thoughts on this very popular little book, you can check out my review here, but for as much as I had some qualms about it, I would still recommend reading it if you need some inspiration to purge!

 

 

 

The More of Less

From my review: “This book is a practical how-to book for the minimalist novice looking to explore the benefits of a simpler lifestyle. As I already agreed with Becker’s concepts of minimalism at the outset, I didn’t need a lot of convincing and personally found the first half of the book to be purely common sense. But the second half of the book offered so much practical advice on how to actually incorporate minimalist ideas into the average American’s life that I found it to be a gem in the midst of so many books now available on this current trend.

Long Days of Small Things

From my review: “This book will not add to your to do list. It will not heap on guilt about all the ways you are not doing enough, teaching enough, or being enough of a godly woman for your children. It will not tell you how to discipline, potty train or feed your child in ten easy steps. Instead, this book will prove to you that you are already living a holy life through simply being a mother. That perhaps God intended all along to intersect with you in these small, seemingly insignificant moments in time that make up the life of a mother.

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids

From Amazon: “With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems … Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish.”

The Quotidian Mysteries: Laundry, Liturgy & ‘Women’s Work’

This was a quick read Norris aids the reader in extracting spiritual meaning from menial chores and simple daily living through monastic practices.  She says: “We want life to have meaning, we want fulfillment, healing and even ecstasy, but the human paradox is that we find these things by starting where we are, not where we wish we were.” And another quote that summarizes her ideas is: “I have come to believe that the true mystics of the quotidian are not those who contemplate holiness in isolation, reaching godlike illumination in serene silence, but those who manage to find God in a life filled with noise, the demands of other people and relentless daily duties that can consume the self.”

Wabi-Sabi Welcome

This book has my heart. The pictures, the beautiful words about simplifying hospitality and the cross-cultural portraits are my heartbeat. If you’re looking for a coffee table book that also has substance, I would highly recommend finding a copy of Wabi-Sabi Welcome.

 

 

What Falls from the Sky: How I Disconnected from the Internet and Reconnected with the God Who Made the Clouds

Stay tuned for a proper review on this book, but for now, know that I highly recommend it if you love well-written memoirs that challenge you to live, think and be differently in the world. (Plus, it has fabulous reviews on Amazon!)

 

 

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Thank you for meeting me here in this space. The theme for March is “Simplify,” so you can start here to read posts you may have missed. If you are a writer or just a person with words burning in your soul and are interested in guest posting, email me at scrapingraisins@ gmail (dot) com. Our theme for next month (April) is “books and writing.” I’m looking for personal stories on this theme in the 500-1000 word range. If you haven’t yet, be sure you sign up for my mid-month and monthly secret newsletter for the latest posts and even some news, discount codes and book giveaway information that only Scraping Raisins subscribers get!

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12 of My Favorite Books on Parenthood (with a cross-cultural spin)

Though mentioning “parenting book” sometimes elicits groans and eye-rolling from many in society these days, I am the type of over-achieving ex-teacher who tried to read every book I could on parenting BEFORE I even gave birth. Needless to say, there are many books that did not make the cut.  The books below are less practical, more spiritual, less “do do do” and more about learning to have grace with yourself.

Many of the parenting books also have a cross-cultural element. One of the most freeing revelations I have had in my four years of parenting is: They do it differently in other countries. Several of the books on this list give a glimpse into how other cultures tackle some of the major parenting issues in ways that are often overlooked or even criticized in the western world.

Bringing Up Bébé: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting (now with Bébé Day by Day: 100 Keys to French Parenting), by Pamela Druckerman  
From Amazon: “When American journalist Pamela Druckerman had a baby in Paris, she didn’t aspire to become a “French parent.” But she noticed that French children slept through the night by two or three months old. They ate braised leeks. They played by themselves while their parents sipped coffee. And yet French kids were still boisterous, curious, and creative. Why? How?”

Fit to Burst : Abundance, Mayhem, and the Joys of Motherhood, by Rachel Jankovich
From Amazon: “Fit to Burst is a book of parenting “field notes” written by a mom in the thick of it all. It is chock-full of humorous examples and fresh advice covering issues familiar to moms, such as guilt cycles, temptations to be ungrateful or bitter, enjoying your kids, and learning how to honor Jesus by giving even in the mundane stuff. But this book also addresses less familiar topics, including the impact moms have on the relationships between dads and kids, the importance of knowing when to laugh at kid-sized sin, and more. A thoughtful follow-up to Loving the Little Years, Rachel’s first book.”

How Eskimos Keep Their Babies Warm: And Other Adventures in Parenting (from Argentina to Tanzania and everywhere in between)), by Mei-Ling Hopgood
From Amazon: “A tour of global practices that will inspire American parents to expand their horizons (and geographical borders) and learn that there’s more than one way to diaper a baby. Mei-Ling Hopgood, a first-time mom from suburban Michigan, now living in Buenos Aires, was shocked that Argentine parents allow their children to stay up until all hours of the night. Could there really be social and developmental advantages to this custom? Driven by a journalist’s curiosity and a new mother’s desperation for answers, Hopgood embarked on a journey to learn how other cultures approach the challenges all parents face: bedtimes, potty training, feeding, teaching, and more.”


Instant Mom, by Nia Vardalos
From Amazon: “In Instant Mom, Nia Vardalos, writer and star of My Big Fat Greek Wedding, tells her hilarious and poignant road-to-parenting story that eventually leads to her daughter and prompts her to become a major advocate for adoption.”

Long Days of Small Things, by Catherine McNeil

You can read my review of this book here, but here is an excerpt: “If you are a mother looking for a book that throws open the windows and invites pure, fresh, breathable air into the room of your soul, then you need to read Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as a Spiritual Discipline. When I was pregnant with my first child, I read books on motherhood like I was cramming for a test. I was determined to do it right. Now that I’m five years in, I’m realizing I don’t need to read books that add more for me to do, but books that validate me for what I’m already doing.”


Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches, by Rachel Jankovich
From Amazon: “Loving the Little Years is a bestselling book of thoughts for mothering young children. It’s written by a mom, for you moms — for when you are motivated, for when you are discouraged, for the times when discipline seems fruitless, and for when you are just plain old tired.”

Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother’s Heart and Hope, by Desiring God authors
From Amazon: “Are you mom enough? The cover of a popular magazine asked this haunting question in bold red letters that hung over the startling image of a young mother nursing her four-year-old. When the issue hit newsstands, it re-ignited a longstanding mommy war in American culture. But it turns out this was the wrong question, pointing in the wrong direction. There is a higher and more essential question faced by mothers: Is he God enough? This short book with twenty-four short contributions from seven young mothers, explores the daily trials and worries of motherhood. In the trenches, they have learned how to treasure God and depend on his grace. The paradox of this book is the secret power of godly mothering. Becoming mom enough comes as a result of answering the burning question above with a firm no.”

The Mother Letters: Sharing the Laughter, Joy, Struggles, and Hope, compiled by Seth Haines
From Amazon: “After his wife Amber had given birth to three boys in three years, Seth Haines saw that she needed encouragement in the day-to-day drama and details of motherhood. Secretly collecting nearly six hundred wise, honest, and sometimes hilarious letters from other mothers across the world, Seth compiled these “mother letters” as a gift for her. Amber and Seth have chosen the best of those letters–including letters from some of the most influential writers and bloggers online today–to include in a beautiful book perfect for the mother in your life.”

The Mystery of Children: What Our Kids Teach Us about Childlike Faith, by Mike Mason
From Amazon: “Just as Mike Mason’s best-selling The Mystery of Marriage explored the parallels between marriage and our relationship with God, so does The Mystery of Children illuminate key spiritual truths modeled in the complex parent-child relationship. More than a manual on parenting, this book is for everyone who wishes to become childlike in heart or to be closer to children-two desires that are intimately and wondrously entwined.”

(The Mystery of Marriage by Mike Mason is my husband and my favorite marriage book, though it is definitely more abstract and spiritual than practical.)

Parenting Without Borders: Surprising Lessons Parents Around the World Can Teach Us, by Christine Gross-Loh, Ph.D
From Amazon: “Research reveals that American kids lag behind in academic achievement, happiness, and wellness. Christine Gross-Loh exposes culturally determined norms we have about “good parenting,” and asks, Are there parenting strategies other countries are getting right that we are not? This book takes us across the globe and examines how parents successfully foster resilience, creativity, independence, and academic excellence in their children”

Sacred Parenting: How Raising Children Shapes Our Souls, by Gary L. Thomas
From Amazon: “Parenting is a school for spiritual formation, says author Gary Thomas, and our children are our teachers. The journey of caring for, rearing, training, and loving our children profoundly alters us forever…even when the journey is sometimes a rough one. Sacred Parenting is unlike any other parenting book on the market. This is not a “how-to” book that teaches readers the ways to discipline their kids or help them achieve their full potential. Instead of a discussion about how parents change their children, Sacred Parenting turns the tables and demonstrates how God uses children to change their parents.”

(Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas is another one of my favorite marriage books)

Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids, by Kim John Payne
From Amazon: “Today’s busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish. Simplicity Parenting offers inspiration, ideas, and a blueprint for change.”


Plus one documentary:  

Babies
From the film’s website: “Babies simultaneously follows four babies around the world – from birth to first steps. The children are, respectively, in order of on-screen introduction: Ponijao, who lives with her family near Opuwo, Namibia; Bayarjargal, who resides with his family in Mongolia, near Bayanchandmani; Mari, who lives with her family in Tokyo, Japan; and Hattie, who resides with her family in the United States, in San Francisco.”

What are your favorite books on marriage or parenting? 

**This post contains affiliate links.

Monthly Mentionables {July/Aug 2017} + 10 Things I Learned While Renovating Our New Home

If you want to test your marriage, parenting, and general lust for life, try moving with three children, age four and under. I suppose it wouldn’t have been so challenging if we hadn’t attempted to paint all the kitchen cabinets and the entire interior of the house before moving in …

But my word for this year is “fire,” so I will leave you to apply all the metaphors to this current situation. Just not the cozy, sit-by-the-fire ones, please.

But in the midst of our normal, daily life stressors, I can’t not mention that this was the month of Charlottesville, the solar eclipse and Hurricane Harvey, plus flooding in many other countries around the world. Each event left me stunned and speechless. As a writer, I struggle because I feel the pressure of speaking into the noise even when I know I may not be heard. The weight of responsibility weighs on me. But that’s a topic for another post …

Today, I’ll keep it light and share what I’ve learned this month via books, podcasts, articles and writing.

Because of the busyness of our recent move, the book reading has been minimal. But with the many hours of painting and nursing a baby, I’ve squeezed in podcasts and much blog/article-reading. Please comment here or on social media. As an extrovert, I love knowing I’m not writing into the void and as a mother to small children with little time to reach out, I appreciate feeling like this blog is more of a conversation than an online journal I am publishing for every stranger to read. Don’t be a stranger;-)

So here we go. Here are the books (okay, book), podcasts, articles and very little writing I’ve been into this month, plus ten things I learned this summer while renovating our new home:

Adopted, by Kelley Nikondeha

I have a serious problem. As a writer, I have some amazing opportunities to pre-read books and be a part of book launches. I find I CANNOT SAY NO to these. It’s a problem. But I am so glad I went against my own better judgement and agreed to read this book written by a long-time contributor to SheLoves. Adopted is a slowly-read-and-savor kind of book. It is an underline-every-line kind of book. The author was not only adopted, but also adopted two children from Burundi (and married a man from Burundi), so she speaks out of her experience as she shares about belonging to the family of God. Kelley is an outstanding writer and I loved the way she weaves words and images from Africa throughout the book. If you are looking for an early morning companion to your daily Bible reading and coffee drinking, be sure and pick up this book. It will change the way you view your place at God’s table.

Podcasts

Pass the Mic

Bonus: The Fierce Urgency of Now: Christian Complicity with Racism and the Imperative for Immediate Action. This is fabulous. Please listen if you have a chance this month.

 

Pray-As-You-Go

I’m experimenting with listening to this during the first part of my runs in the mornings. I’ve shared it before, but it includes a spiritual song, then a reading of a short Bible passage and a few questions for reflection. They have British accents, so it makes it feel even more spiritual somehow;-)

 

The Simple Show

Episode 88: No & Yes. I’ve been thinking about this question a lot lately as I begin the school year calendar. What will I say no to and make room for the things I want to say yes to? This episode gave me a lot to think about.

 

Slices of Life. This one was new to me this month. I love the depth these women go to as they discuss daily life.

Episode 39: Making Time for Your Kids

Episode 53: The Benefits of Margin in Your Day

 

Sorta Awesome

Episode 110 Sorry/Not Sorry. This is a long one, but if you don’t have time to get together with girl friends yourself and need a good belly-laugh, this is a perfect way to spend your minutes folding laundry, cooking dinner or commuting to work.

 

TED Talks Daily. These are all fabulous. If I were teaching right now, they are talks I would assign as homework so we could discuss them in class. Here are some I listened to this month:

How to Design a Library that Makes Kids Want to Read, by Michael Bierut (I feel like this isn’t the right title for this–listen through all the way to the end!)

Why Our Screens Make Us Less Happy, by Adam Alter

How Cohousing can make us happier (and live longer), by Grace Kim

When Black Women Walk, Things Change, byT. Morgan Dixon and Vanessa Garrison

12 Truths I Learned from Life and Writing, by Anne Lamott

 

Recipes:

Authentic Italian Meatballs at food.com

Garlic Lemon Herb Mediterranean Chicken + Potatoes (one pan) at Café Delites (Be sure to add feta cheese to this one)

Shrimp Boil at Tasting Table. (Use less salt!)

Vanilla Cupcakes from Life, Love and Sugar. The cake part wasn’t anything new, but the frosting was better than any I’ve ever made before! I’m excited to try out some new recipes from here.

Casper, WY. The night before the eclipse. The sun was already showing off.

Interesting Articles from the Web:

Be a Foster Parent or Be the Village, by Katie Finklea at Loving Well, Living Well

The Death of Reading is Threatening the Soul, by Philip Yancey at Washington Post

I Moved My Kids Out of America. It Was the Best Parenting Decision I Ever Made, by Wendy DeChambeau for The Week 

Oldest Kids in Class Do Better, Even Through College, by John Ydstie for NPR

Teach Me How to Age Well, by Leah Abraham at SheLoves Magazine

The ‘Wait Until 8th’ Pledge–Let Kids be Kids a Little Longer, by Linda Sharkey, at Westport Moms Blog

White Supremacy (Overt and Covert), a great visual for understanding race

Why Free Play is Disappearing in Our Culture, for Today’s Mama

10 Truths and Realities of Transracial Adoption, by at Loving Well, Living Well

12 Best Practices for Finding Time, Energy and Inspiration to Write + A Prayer for Writers, by Sarah Bessey

100 Books by Christian Authors of Color, by Deidra Riggs at her blog

 

FOR FUN:

This Shiplap is Killing Me: 8 Things I Hate about HGTV

John Piper’s Best Tweets

 

In Case You Missed it on Scraping Raisins:

Why I’m Not Apologizing for My Kids and Doing Hospitality Anyway

Why We’re Not Doing Preschool this Year and Are Doing a ‘Gap Year’ Instead

#WhiteChurchQuiet and How the White Church Can Get It Right

Why I Write (because don’t we sometimes need to remember?)

 

And Elsewhere on the Interwebs:

Doe, a Deer, a Female Deer (for SheLoves)

Small, Sticky Hands Lead Me to Jesus (for Redbud Post)

Selling Out by Settling Down? (for Mudroom Blog)

And this is for the Emily P. Freeman Crowd–10 Things I Learned this Summer while Renovating Our New Home

  1. Painting Kitchen Cabinets: Don’t use Annie Sloan Chalk paint on your kitchen cabinets unless you want to do three coats of paint, plus three coats of polyurethane PER SIDE–that’s 12 flips, people. I did use it on the kitchen island, though, because I wanted to use the dark wax and loved the turquoise color, called Florence.
  2. Shower Mildew: check this out before re-grouting your shower. Totally works.
  3. DIY Kitchen Island: My dad and I built our kitchen island basically using this site. I love it so far!
  4. IKEA and I are not enemies anymore. I love the drawer organizer, kids’ easel and paper, kids’ plasticware, comforter and plants.
  5. Downsides to the Open Floor Plan: noise and it is impossible to hide the clutter.
  6. Painting Kitchen Counters: haven’t done this yet, but I’m planning on using Giani–let me know if you’ve ever done this and have tips!
  7. Painting All Interior Walls: taping takes so long that I eventually just got really good at cutting-in.
  8. Stock Up on Trader Joe’s Frozen Dinners–the Indian ones and naan are actually really good! People should do meal trains for moves like they do for new moms. A couple friends brought us meals and literally saved my sanity that day!
  9. Keep Little Ones Busy: let them play with paint brushes and rollers outside and “paint” the sidewalk with water.
  10. Popcorn Ceilings: don’t attempt to remove them yourself. It is completely worth the cost to pay someone to do it.

Before and After pics still to come!

What all were you up these past couple months? I’d love to hear!

 

*Linking up with Emily P. Freeman and Leigh Kramer

**Includes Amazon Affiliate links

 

 

 

 

Monthly Mentionables {May 2017}

I’m starting to accept that my children (not my friends or even my husband most of the time) are my companions and fellow adventurers. These little people are always, always with me. Fortunately, they don’t seem to mind their mom wildly weaving our minivan through canyons to unknown destinations in the mountains; or exploring the neighborhoods of Denver when two out of three of the kids fall asleep on our way to the zoo.

One of the benefits of having three children is that I am forced to relax. I can’t be Super Mom and that has to be okay. This means my children climb huge rocks while I nurse on a bench. The baby rarely gets to nap in his crib and has already eaten more junk food in two months than my first born had the entire first three years of his life. I frequently rewash laundry that has sat more than 24 hours and never have a clean house. I let my two-year-old daughter pick flowers pretty much anywhere she pleases, my four-year-old son dress himself in mismatched outfits, and allow my husband to haphazardly “style” my daughter’s hair. *Sigh*

But we are living. And I’m learning to breathe to the rhythm of slow and simple.

Here are some books, articles, podcasts and writing pursuits I poured into the chinks of my days this month to hydrate my brain and assure myself i’m still a thinking person. What about you? What have you been into?

Books:

Essentialism: The Disciplined Pursuit of Less, by Greg McKeown

This was a fabulous book, even though I found it very male-centric and focused more on people in the corporate world than in the creative world. That said, it was definitely applicable to anyone with a pulse in their body pushing them to live their best life. It was a quick read and challenged me to say no more often and prioritize how I spend my time (which is always a good thing).

The Contemplative Writer, by Ed Cyzewski

This was also a very quick read, but helped me reorient my writing through utilizing spiritual practices. I look forward to using them when my brain starts working again in about five years.

I Am Malala, by Malala Yousafzai

I read this with my book club last month and I so wanted to love it. It was definitely a worthy read, but I got bogged down in the first third of the book by the detailed history of the politics of Pakistan. But I’m glad I persisted because it was fascinating to learn more about the culture of Pakistan and certainly puts my privileged life into perspective.

When We Were on Fire, by Addie Zierman

I think I read this book in less than 48 hours. If Amy Peterson’s memoir about her two years overseas was part II of my life story, Addie’s book would have been my part I. I could so relate to her reflection on (and critique of) the Christian evangelical culture she had grown up in. Reading her memoir was like finding a kindred spirit at just the right time.

Podcasts:

10-Minute Writer’s Workshop–I loved ALL of them (I binge-listened this month!)

Chasing JusticeAmena Brown Owen, Justin Dillon, and Sandra Van Opstal (I just started this one and it is quickly becoming an obsession.)

On Being with Krista TippettRichard Rohr–Living in Deep Time, Patrisse Cullors/Robert Ross–The Spiritual Work of Black Lives Matter

Pass the MicThe Great Woke Debate

Pray-As-You-Go Podcast (This is still the podcast I listen to while I get breakfast ready for my kiddos.)

Truth’s TableWhy the Church Matters

 

Articles:

11 Things White People Need to Realize about Race, by Jessica Samakow for Huffington Post (an older article, but still so relevant!)

Being Black, a Woman, and an Evangelical, by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson for Missio Alliance

Having a Yardsale Confessions of a Yard Sale Fanatic, at yardsalequeen.com (We had a garage sale this month and this was super helpful!)

SheLeads: An Awakenings Syllabus to #AmplifyWomen, by Natasha Sistrunk Robinson for Missio Alliance (A response from a woman of color to the CT article that set the Christian blogosphere on fire last month, plus a fabulous list of books and articles to read.)

Thirteen Lessons on Motherhood: One for Every Year I’ve Been a Mom, by Tina Osterhouse at her blog (I needed to read all of these!)

Why a Racially Insensitive Photo of Southern Baptist Seminary Professors Matters, by Jemar Tisby at The Washington Post

In Case You Missed it at Scraping Raisins:

Are You Done Having Children? (find out if we’re done …)

Motherhood as Spiritual Practice? {A Review of Long Days of Small Things}

Love Like a Fool {A Review of Redeeming Ruth}

 

Find Me Elsewhere on the Web at:

SheLoves: In Solidarity with the Butt Wipers

The Times Record: In the Fire and here, too

Velvet Ashes: A Letter to the One Returning Home

***

I feel I’m standing at the edge of summer and there is so much freedom and so much possibility. And so little sleep and so many tantrums … pray for me. Don’t let the pretty pictures fool you.  😉 (See above posts about motherhood for a more detailed view of life as i see it right now …)

Drop me a comment about what you have been into or connect with me on social media! I’m always looking for good recommendations!

xo

Leslie

***This post contains Amazon affiliate links.

Linking up with Leigh Kramer (What I’m Into) and Emily P. Freeman (What I Learned this Spring)

Monthly Mentionables {April 2017}

I took a four month break from doing these updates. At first, I didn’t miss it, but then I realized having a record of what I’m reading, writing and listening to keeps me accountable. I read less than usual when I don’t have to report back to the internet world how exactly I spend my time. So here we are again.

Here’s a mash-up of some books, podcasts and articles I enjoyed over the past few months, as well as some insignificant personal news for your reading pleasure.

What have you been into?

Books

A Christmas Carol, by Charles Dickens–Read this with my book club for December/January.

Dangerous Territory, by Amy Peterson–You can read my review of this here.

Divided by Faith, by Michael O. Emerson and Christian Smith–You can read some quotes from this book here.

Hotel on the Corner of Bitter and Sweet, by Jamie Ford–Read last month with my book club. We all really enjoyed it. It was fascinating to read about the Japanese internment and how Asians were treated during WW II in the U.S.

The Living Cross: Exploring God’s Gift of Forgiveness and New Life, by Amy Boucher Pye–Enjoyed reading this for Lent this year.

Long Days of Small Things: Motherhood as Spiritual Discipline, by Catherine McNeil–Review coming soon! Loved it.

Prophetic Lament, by Soong Chan-Rah–You can read some quotes I loved from the book here.

Redeeming Ruth: Everything Life Takes, Love Restores, by Meadow Rue Merrill–Review coming soon! Powerful, poetic and heart-wrenching.

Writing Down the Bones: Freeing the Writer Within, by Natalie Goldberg–This is now one of my favorite books on writing. Highly recommend.

 

Personal News

Spring is here! (Sort of …)

 

We had several inches of snow this past weekend, but it all melted as of Monday. But I managed to snag some lilacs before they were covered in snow. We are loving being able to go to parks, “hike” and go on walks again without having to bundle up.

My Husband Kisses Other Women

I should use that for a blog title one day as click bait. It’s actually true, though it’s within the context of being a stage actor. My husband completed his first show since we got married seven years ago. Six weeks of rehearsals, four, sometimes five, nights a week and an entire month of weekend shows after that. It was stretching, but also magical to see him use his gifts on the stage. We’re in negotiations about how frequently this should be a part of our life. I’ll let you know.

Snack Dinner

Brilliant. My friend posted her dinner on Instagram recently and inspired me. I’ve never seen the kids run to dinner so fast at the announcement that “Snack dinner is ready!”

Four Eyes

After 38 years of perfect vision, I need glasses. I’m already annoying my husband with all the metaphors involving nearsightedness, vision and blindness. Stay tuned. This is not a picture of my new pair, but I’m planning on buying at Warby Parker. Seems like a great deal–they’ll send you five frames for free to try on and you can mail them back. Looks like I can get some glasses for under $100!

Elk!

Reason #317 I know I am no longer in Chicago: three elk blocked the path on my run last week!

Chubby Chinese Babies

I managed to track down the most diverse part of northern Colorado located within three courtyards of international student housing at the university near us. I have been volunteering every Friday morning at their international women’s club. I’ve met women from about fifteen different countries and there are usually about five babies with their mamas there to sit on the couch nursing with me. I’ve gotten to speak Chinese again, learn how to cook different foods and fill the mysterious hole in my soul that can’t get enough of cultures other than my own.

Podcasts

(New to Podcasts? Check out this article to get started!)

The Calling–I enjoy most of these, so you can basically start anywhere! Richard Clark has a wide variety of guests, and I always appreciate hearing about people’s personal take on the concept of calling.

The Longest Shortest Time–How to Not (Accidentally) Raise a Racist–This is an outstanding podcast to educate your children about race. The show notes include additional resources.

Pass the Mic–This is my go-to podcast for talk about race issues from a Christian perspective. Jemar Tisby and Tyler Burns are the hosts and I think I learn a new vocabulary word from Jemar during every show. Very thoughtful, intelligent and God-centric race conversations.

Pray As You Go–I am lucky if I read a few verses in my Bible these days, but this app is helping me connect with God in the midst of the chaos. I often listen while getting the kids’ breakfast ready. Each podcast is less than 15 minutes and includes a song, Scripture passage (read twice) and some questions for meditation.

The Global Church Project–Freeing Church from Western Cultural Captivity (Soong Chan Rah)–As someone who studied the intersection of theology and culture for my masters degree, I have loved this podcast featuring diverse voices speaking into church issues.

Shalom in the City–My Sista’s Keeper (the first of a monthly conversation on race and unity). I appreciate these women having the courage to risk their personal comfort to talk about issues of race, white privilege and racism from a Christian perspective. Very insightful so far.

Sorta Awesome–Spiritual Crisis (the thing that rattled our faith)–Sorta Awesome is one of my all-time favorite podcasts, but this particular one hit many nerves with me (in good ways). I appreciate their honesty, openness and hopefulness in this particular podcast.

Truth’s Table–Glaringly devoid of the female perspective, Raan Network righted the wrong by beginning this new podcast featuring three extremely intelligent women discussing race issues. It has been fabulous so far.

Articles

(I read many articles over the past several months, but these were the most memorable and seemed to spark the best conversations on social media.)

 

Latasha Morrison: The Church is the ‘Only Place Equipped to Do Racial Reconciliation Well,” by Morgan Lee for Christianity Today

SuperBabies Don’t Cry, by Heather Kirn Lanier for Vela Magazine

When I Became a Mother, Feminism Let me Down, by Samantha Johnson for Huffington Post

Why I Send My Child to Public School, by D.L. Mayfield for Think Christian

White People: I Don’t Want You to Understand Me Better, I Want You to Understand Yourselves, by Ijeoma Oluo for Medium

Who’s in Charge of the Christian Blogosphere?, by Tish Harrison Warren for Christianity Today

4 Problematic Statements White People Make about Race–And What to Say Instead, by Ali Owens for Huffington Post

59 Percent of Millennials Raised in a Church Have Dropped Out–And They’re Trying to Tell Us Why, by Sam Eaton for FaithLit

In Case You Missed It on Scraping Raisins:

I wrote every day for 31 days during the month of March. Every Day. For a MONTH. I’d love for you to check out my series called “31 Days of #WOKE.”  You can also listen to an interview with me on this podcast, if that’s more your thing.

Find me elsewhere on the web:

For (In)Courage:

I Tried to Run Away from Love

For Mudroom Blog:

Loving After Trump

For SheLoves:

When the Answer is Not Now

My #Woke Journey

When You and Your Husband Have Different Callings

When Writing Feels Like a Waste of Time

 

I’d love to hear what you’ve been into, so please leave me a comment. Sign up for email updates so you won’t miss a post!

Linking up with Leigh Kramer.

**Contains Amazon affiliate links

Subscribe to my monthly-ish newsletter and I’ll send you the first chapter of my book Invited: The Power of Hospitality in an Age of Loneliness for FREE!

Welcome to Scraping Raisins!