Why Simplify?

If I were to pinpoint one golden thread running through the fabric of my life, it would be this:

“Stop doing, just be.”

It would be God whispering in the straining and trying,

“Stop. Just breathe.”

“Soak in Jesus and all of his richness and pour out peace, love and joy onto others around you. Enjoy. Notice. Relax. Be grateful.”

There is an over-quoted verse that I also frequently tell myself: “Cease striving and know that I am God.” The second half of it is less well known: “I will be exalted in the heavens. I will be exalted in all the earth.” (Ps. 46:10)

When we slow down, stop, breathe, and just be, we begin to notice God at work all around us.

Our culture of productivity and busyness demands we be on-the-go, plugged-in, running, frenzied, over-worked and over-scheduled. We are to multi-task and be well-rounded, never focusing on just one person or experience at a time. “Buy more, do more, see more, read more, live more, more and more.”

I read a book a couple years ago called The More of Less that states this month’s theme succinctly with its title. What if having and doing less actually makes our lives richer and more fulfilling?

What if having and doing less actually makes our lives richer and more fulfilling?

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I hope you’ll follow along this month. As usual, my ideas and plans exceed the actual time I have, but in the month of March on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, I hope to talk about ways to:

Simplify Buying Used Clothing

Simplify Mom Guilt

Simplify Your Perspective on Motherhood

Simplify Easter with Kids

Simplify Doing Laundry (likely a 2-parter)

Simplify Hospitality

Simplify Baby Gear

I’m also planning a post with books, podcasts and articles relating to this theme, so tell me if you have a great resource you’d like to add!

I have at least one guest post lined up, but let me know if you’d be interested in guest posting and shoot me an email at scrapingraisins@ gmail (dot) com. I’m looking for personal stories on this theme in the 500-1000 word range.

As always, thank you for meeting me here in this space. If you haven’t yet, be sure you sign up for my mid-month and monthly secret newsletter for the latest posts and even some news, discount codes and book giveaway information that only Scraping Raisins subscribers are privy to!

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October 18, 2016

In this season (of motherhood)

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted…”
(Eccl. 3:1-2 KJV).

In this season (of motherhood)~~Am I blooming here, or just biding my time, hoping that this season will pass quickly?

***

Colorado is yellow in the fall. Aspen strike the treeline of the Rockies with such a brilliant yellow, that you nearly have to squint your eyes to take them in without being blinded.

My husband and I passed these flowers blooming in a neighbor’s garden on an evening walk a few weeks ago. “Have these always been here?” my husband asked.

“I don’t think so,” I said. “I’m pretty sure they only bloom in the fall.”

Though it’s a bit cliche, those perfect yellow blooms got me thinking about this season of motherhood, asking myself, Am I blooming here, or just biding my time, hoping that this season will pass quickly?

A week and a half ago, I took the one-month old baby and fled to my parent’s house over the highest road in the nation. I just needed a nap. My parents took care of me, fed me, held the baby and allowed me to rest for nearly 48 hours. On the majestic drive home in the early hours of the morning, I forced myself to spend the two hours in silence. I attempted to clear my head and just listen.

In the silence, I began to formulate a list of priorities. Watching the center line kept me from careening over the edge, much like keeping my eyes on Jesus is holding me from sailing right into the tired mama’s tendency towards postpartum depression. My list right now is simply this:

Sleep when I can
Exercise daily
Get outdoors daily
Eat healthy food
Seek God
Talk to another adult

But I also felt like I needed to remember my husband. For the past few months, we’ve been high-fiving one another and passing on the baton in the relay-race of parenthood. We are partners and team-players, but are we lovers, friends and companions? This newborn’s needs must come first right now, but is my husband a close second? So we are instituting weekly one to two hour date nights for a couple months and getting better about being intentional with one another. I’m trying to remember to make eye contact and really see him even when I can barely see straight because of sleeplessness.

It’s been a week and a half since my assessment and I am feeling more emotionally healthy. On the days I don’t walk alone, I strap on the baby and push us out of the house for a walk. The exercise and fall are ministering to my weary soul.

I will be the first to tell anyone that I am not a pinteresty mom. I don’t do crafts or cutesy activities. But in a moment of weakness last week, I drew up a simple scavenger hunt for my kids to do during the “hike” part of our walk.

The kids looked for animal tracks in the hardened path, picked up sticks and were delighted when we discovered three apple trees along the way. I tried not to smack the baby as I hoisted a stick up to dislodge the apples, yelling at my kids to get out of the way so they didn’t get hit in the head. Our mouths full of sweet apples, we laughed at one another and delighted over the special unexpected treat.

It was one of the first times I have felt fully present with my kids in a really long time.

Over the past few months, an image has come to mind as I’ve thought about my life as a mother. So many times, I feel like I am sitting in the stands while my kids are out on the field playing. But I am the type of disengaged spectator who is scrolling through social media on her phone, wishing she were anywhere but here.

I see my kids as an interruption.

Instead, I hope to be not only paying attention to them, but their greatest fan. In his book, Just Mercy, Bryan Stevenson said that he always knew that his mother adored him. I hope the my kids will be able to say the same of me.

A friend sent me a verse several weeks ago that had spoken to her as she prepared to have a baby of her own. It has also come to mind over the past days and weeks as I’ve struggled to be content in this season of life that can feel so restrictive and confining.

“Trust in the Lord and do good;
Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness” (Ps. 37:3 NASB).

The word that stands out to me is “cultivate.” Cultivating requires staying in one place and tending to my garden. Patience, persistence and attention are needed if I am going to see my seeds grow. This is the season of staying put and doing the back-breaking, repetitive work of watering, weed-pulling and guarding from both frost and heat.

This is the season of loving when I see very little return for my love. It is the season of tilling hard soil and wondering if my words will ever sink down deep. And the verse that follows is one that ironically, I clung hard to in my many years of longing for a husband and children:

“Delight yourself in the Lord;
And He will give you the desires of your heart” (Ps. 37:4 NASB).

It is not just in delighting in nature, my “me time,” my husband, or my children that I will find the soul rest that I seek. It is in delighting in my God.

Nevertheless, my prayer in this season is this:

“Lord, Help me to listen more than I speak, read more than I write,

laugh more than I cry, praise more than I criticize and be more than I do.”

~~~

Previous Post: Having Three Kid Looks Like…

May 18, 2016

The message on the bathroom stall

Scraping Raisins blog post: How God used a grafitti message on a gas station bathroom stall to speak to me.

We pulled into a sleepy country gas station at 3 AM and I groggily trudged into the store, searching for the restroom and shuffling toward a hand-lettered sign that hung askew above the door. We were in the middle of a 13 hour drive through the night from Colorado to Chicago.

We’ve found that this means of travel is actually perfect for us because the kids sleep the entire way (ideally) and wake up when we arrive at our destination in the morning. There is no time lost in traveling and certainly nothing to miss in the long, flat drive over the lonesome plains of Colorado and Nebraska. The drive is so desolate that many of the exits warn of “no services” or that the next stop will not be for 30 miles. But the stars at night are incredible.

Entering the bathroom stall, I closed the door and noticed that it was covered in graffiti. Right at eye level, a message jumped out at me. Though I was tired, the profundity of the message struck me enough to read it again and again, memorizing each word. It said:

“You are safe. God is pursuing you with true love. Don’t give up.”

What kind of person writes a message like that on a bathroom stall in the middle-of-nowhere Nebraska? And who were they talking to? It felt personal. Intimate. Like a stranger was staring into my soul and speaking a prophetic message to something they saw there.

Being who I am, with all my tendencies to over-spiritualize, of course I read into the message. I felt like God himself had vandalized that stall so that I would see it there in the middle of the night in May 2016 on a long distance drive with two tired babies in my reluctantly acquired minivan. Like He wanted to speak to me personally, but also illuminate a message for friends I have right now who are battling cancer, infertility, miscarriage, depression, disappointment, confusion and feeling forgotten by God.

You are safe.

God is pursuing you with true love.

Don’t give up.

Later in the week, I was on a run and noticed a bird nest high up inside the prism of a street light, straw and sticks poking out of a tiny hole in the glass. The lantern must have provided the heat and light the mama bird needed to nurture her young, but mostly it promised a secure spot away from predators and dangerous weather. I was comforted by the safety of that snugly situated nest, thinking about how we have security in God when we build our nests next to Him. But then it occurred to me that He is more like the mother bird, and we are his tiny, vulnerable, needy babies, completely dependent on Him to keep us safe. He fights for our survival like a mama bird fights for her young.

Familiar words came to mind, like the comfort food of the Bible:

“Those who live in the shelter of the Most High will find rest in the shadow of the Almighty. This I declare about the Lord: He alone is my refuge, my place of safety; he is my God, and I trust Him. For he will rescue you from every trap and protect you from deadly disease. He will cover you with his feathers. He will shelter you with his wings. His faithful promises are your armor and protection” (Ps. 91: 1-4 NLT).

If you’re like me, these words are soothing, but also seem a bit naïve, because we know that sometimes we and our loved ones are not protected, healed or spared. We are not always safe. But today as I prayed for my hurting friends that seem to have fallen out of safety, I was reminded that though Jesus could have healed and even protected some of His friends from harm, He chose not to. What He did do was enter right into their pain. He sat down with them and wept. He was present with them in their loss in a way no other human being could ever be. His heart broke with the brokenhearted.

This is where the second part of the Nebraska bathroom graffiti message rings true. “He pursues you with true love.” And that is where our security lies. Though we may not always feel safe physically, we can know that He is always searching for and pursuing our hearts with His unfailing love. Even when we give up on Him, He will never give up on us. And sometimes that means chasing us all the way into a dirty gas station bathroom stall in Nebraska just to remind us.

You are safe. God is pursuing you with true love. Don’t give up, my friend.

~~~

Related Post: When We Fear {for Velvet Ashes}

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December 7, 2015January 13, 2017

Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms {7 Days of Soul Rest}

My friend and her family have decided to observe the Sabbath (called Shabbat in Hebrew) more formally and make this longer pause a part of the rhythm of their lives. Here is a bit of her experience.

Every life pulsates with rhythm. Schedules of sleeping, eating and relating vary according to culture, but all people fall into rhythm of some kind.

And every musical rhythm must contain rests, or pauses, where the beat stops beating, even if just for a moment.

What are some of the natural pauses that already exist in the rhythm of your life right now?

In the United States, the larger rhythms of life might look like the school calendar, with rest for children during summer and winter break. It also may include the 8 to 10 hour work day, with weekends off and church on Sundays. But our rhythms can also be dictated by the church calendar of Advent, Lent and other holy days.

The rhythms of a working parent may include pauses during a commute or lunch break and a stay-at-home parent may have brief pauses to nurse a baby or while a child naps. Pauses may be at prayers before meals and bed or alongside other family traditions. Those without children or with older children may have extended morning pauses, while parents of littles may have extended pauses in evenings if their children sleep early.

If we are serious about finding true soul rest, we need to be realistic with our goals. One of the easiest ways to do this is to insert intentional rest into the natural pauses that already exist in our lives.

The purpose is not to fill these pauses with more “doing,” but to retrain ourselves to extend them into space to “be.” Take naps. Space out instead of pulling out your phone in the checkout line. Exercise outside without music or headphones. Walk slower than feels natural. Drive in silence (if you don’t have kids shrieking in your car like I do).  Go to bed absurdly early.  Spend an extra three minutes in the shower.

Extend your pauses.

We also need to transform the natural pauses of our lives into sacred moments.

What does this look like practically?

Here’s an example of what not to do. Today after I dropped the kids off at the nursery at church and made my way back to my husband for the service, I spent the majority of the service distracted, scribbling notes for this post on my bulletin. The songs were words, not worship; and communion was bread and juice, not the body and blood. My physical body was there, but my mind was not. And I missed out. This was a rare hour that I could have been meeting with Jesus, but because I was not intentional about using this time to seek Him, I missed out on making this a sacred pause in my week.

And I desperately needed that kind of soul rest.

So to follow my own advice, I need to prepare myself for pauses. Closing our eyes is a gift. By moving tiny muscles in our face, we can physically tune out all that is around us. I need to learn how to utilize this very basic gift of God to reclaim these pauses and transform them into sacred moments with the Lord. In church, I can close my eyes when I enter and ask for help to focus.

Most of the time, we don’t need to change our entire rhythm, but only to extend or capture the pauses we already have and make them sacred, but occasionally we need to allow God to rewrite the rhythm of our days to include pauses that weren’t there before.

My friend and her family have decided to observe the Sabbath (called Shabbat in Hebrew) more formally and make this longer pause a part of the rhythm of their lives. Here is a bit of her experience.:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We celebrate Shabbat from Friday night sundown to Saturday sundown. We do this to join in the thousands of years people have celebrated it at this time. We have tried to set Shabbat apart by cleaning up before Friday night (which somehow makes cleaning more purposeful and enjoyable for me), making a fancy dinner and inviting guests over.

We often light candles before dinner and say/sing a blessing. We often sing the Shema and take communion. It is the time when we enjoy our bridegroom and He enjoys us as His bride as it is often said that Shabbat is like preparing for a king or the wedding of the bridegroom.

Shabbat is as much about delight as it is about rest.

On the seventh day God took delight in all he had created. It is a time to reflect on how God delights in us and all creation and we get to enter into that and delight with Him.

Along the lines of delight and celebration, we try to save any desserts for Shabbat so that we see Shabbat as a delight! We have desserts Friday night and often a big breakfast Saturday morning with chocolate chip pancakes.

One of the keys for us with Shabbat is to make it ‘holy’ and set apart from other days, so we do rest from regular work. At the end of the Saturday night sundown, the house is usually a mess with dishes piled up and toys spread all around. Sometimes it takes discipline to not clean up, but by the end of Shabbat it is funny how you have new motivation to clean since you were trying not to. We also take time to pray, dance to worship music, play games, read Scriptures and go on walks. It is about ‘being’ with family and friends as we delight in God and His creation.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This has been such a challenging week. I hope that it has been for you, too. If you are new to the series, be sure to read the previous posts on soul rest listed below. Personally, I am going to take a reverse Sabbath and rest over the next six days before posting another blog post on the seventh day, so if you don’t hear from me, know that I am trying to practice what I preach (though I will be in contact with the winners of the audio book giveaway by Tuesday afternoon–you can still have a chance if you subscribe to emails or comment before Tuesday morning!).

My Goals for Soul Rest

Observe the Sabbath as my friend did during the month of January
Plan a personal retreat next year
Stop pulling out my phone to “kill time” when I could use that time to pray or just “be”
Choose one Bible verse to focus on each week (baby steps)
Be intentional about extending and using the pauses that already exist in my life to rest and seek God
Read and drink tea for 20 minutes a day, ideally while my children nap

A beautiful word I came across recently is fermata. It is a long rest in the middle of a piece of music, like a sigh.  I pray you will allow Christ to carry your heavy load and rest in the sweet sigh of His freedom from doing because the most important work has already been done on the cross. Rest, weary one, rest. Let Him carry you.

“Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7).

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62: 5-6).

What are a few goals you have for implementing rest into your day, week, month or year this coming year?

Resources
The Sabbath Society: a society of women committed to observing the Sabbath each week

25 Encouraging Scriptures for Rest and Relaxation

Start Small, Start With Sabbath, by Sarah Bessey

If this is your first visit to 7 Days of Soul Rest, be sure to read through the previous posts listed below. Please introduce yourself in the comments–I’d love to hear your story!

Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Linking up with #WholeMama

December 6, 2015January 13, 2017

Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat {7 Days of Soul Rest}

Today, I have asked my wise friend with 4 children under the age of 8 to share her experience going on a yearly personal retreat.

Jesus was busy.  Crowds to feed, people to heal, multitudes to teach, the dead to raise, angry mobs to dodge, disciples to reprimand/encourage and religious leaders to baffle, not to mention a world to save. Jesus always had something going on.

And yet.

Have you ever done a study in Mark on the amount of times Jesus steals away to secluded areas to be with His Father?

So why should we be any different?

Today, I have asked my wise friend with 4 children under the age of 8 to share her experience going on a yearly personal retreat. Though you may think it is impossible at this stage of life (whatever stage you are in), this friend is proof that it is not only possible, but necessary to get away.  She usually went away when she was no longer nursing, but pregnant with her next child, leaving her other children home for the weekend with her husband.

Here are some of her reflections on having a personal retreat:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The two most important factors for me in planning a retreat are location and reading material.

My husband did some research and found a retreat center run by Franciscans not far from our home. The accommodations are comfortable, food good, price right, and the chapel is open 24 hours a day. I schedule a two night, private, silent retreat, which basically means that I do my own thing and no one bothers me.

I think in Evangelical/Protestant circles, it is probably more difficult to find a place that understands the private, silent retreat concept. Usually a retreat means going with a group of people for speakers, fellowship, and fun. So for those really intent on retreating alone with God, it is worth looking into Catholic retreat centers where they are used to individuals coming by themselves, to be left alone with God.

For my reading material, I usually bring something light but uplifting to read (a recent choice was Hannah Coulter by Wendell Barry, for example) and then a substantive book about the spiritual life (something by Henri Nouwen or Jean Vanier are some recognizable names) and my Bible. And then a journal. I try to keep it at that so I don’t get distracted, and my spiritual reading choice aligns with what I want to focus my retreat on.

There are some rigorous ways to retreat, but for me, part of the beauty lies in the physical rest I experience, which then feeds the spiritual work I do.

In college I was lamenting to my dad once that sometimes I fall asleep during prayer. His simple response was to shrug and say, “Well, I guess God thinks you needed to rest!”

I don’t follow a set schedule aside from attending Mass, confession, and meals. I just alternate between sleeping, reading, praying, journaling, light exercise, and sitting in the presence of God quietly. Very simple indeed!

And out of that cycle of activity/non-activity comes new resolutions, Scripture to take home and continue to meditate on, things I need to fix or people I need to apologize to, and incredible soul rest. There is nothing quite like it.

To experience sustained silence in an otherwise frenetic life, to create space for God to speak and to listen, it’s like stripping off all the layers I build up all year long.

Layers of what?

I can’t even describe…it’s like going outside your home after a snowfall and feeling that intense quiet as the snow absorbs the noise, and then at the same time looking around and seeing everything sparkling white. You don’t see the bush that needs trimming or the deck that needs repainting, just the clarity that the beauty brings to your senses. You know that the driveway will have to be shoveled and that in a minute you will be searching for that missing mitten, but for a moment all is in perfect perspective.

Interestingly, I often feel anxious before I go on retreat. I don’t look forward to being “alone” for that long, as if I have forgotten how to be by myself, or I am anxious about leaving the kids, etc.

I am sometimes afraid of what God will uncover.

And I am anxious about re-integration to life after those two days at the oasis because the adjustment is so abrupt. But my husband pushes me out the door and I go.

Because I know that I can’t recreate the soul rest at home (nor should I) and it benefits me and also my entire family.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I’m so thankful to have my friend share today. Though most of our days will be straining to hear God’s voice in the noise, if Jesus even in His busyness prioritized getting away from the crowds to pray, then we do not need to feel guilty for doing the same.

“We may rest fully assured of this: a man’s influence in the world can be gauged not by his eloquence or his zeal or his orthodoxy or his energy, but by his prayers…to be little with God in prayer is to be little for God in service. Much secret prayer means much public power” (The Kneeling Christian by Anonymous, p. 25).

Have you ever done a personal retreat? What was your experience like?

What is keeping you from planning a retreat this year?

Resources:
Retreat Finder A great international directory to find Catholic retreat centers (but most of them you don’t have to be Catholic to have a personal retreat there).

If this is your first visit to 7 Days of Soul Rest, be sure to read through the previous posts listed below. Please introduce yourself in the comments–I’d love to hear your story!

Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Linking up with Velvet Ashes

December 5, 2015January 13, 2017

Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times {7 Days of Soul Rest}

Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your day, most of which do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time.

My kids have magical powers. I’ve tested it. Every morning, I tiptoe downstairs while they are sleeping (unless they’ve already woken us up at 5 am, of course) and the second that I sit down and take my first sip of coffee, THEY KNOW.

They are also currently on a sleep strike from napping. So soul rest for me today took the form of strapping my two kids in the car at 3 pm after over an hour of not sleeping and driving up into the mountains so they could nap. It took them about 5 minutes until they were out.

God knew I needed that time alone in the car. In the quiet, he reminded me of some things.

When traveling to another country, good practice is to alter your attitude when you encounter strange aspects of that culture and think, This isn’t better or worse than my culture, it’s just different.

I’m finding that in encountering new seasons of life, it is helpful to take the same attitude:

This isn’t better or worse, just different.

But instead of accepting that this season of life is just different, I have been fighting it. I often think I just need to hold on until more ideal circumstances for Bible Study and prayer return. But just as it is unrealistic to wish for snow in the middle of summer or tulips in the fall, it is immature for me to wish for an hour-long quiet time in the morning in this season where my kids wake up at 5:30 am. Instead of fighting it like a toddler, I need to find out how I can grow not in spite of, but in the midst of this season.

“In acceptance lieth peace,” Amy Carmichael writes.

Today, I feel like I surrendered my toddler-like attitude about my life and accepted that God wants to meet me where I am–in slivers of time, tired attempts to read His Word, mundane moments and scrambled prayers for patience and strength.

I love how my friend with 9 children said she is “giving herself freedom to enjoy this season of walking with Christ.”

Am I enjoying my season? Are you enjoying yours? Are you giving yourself freedom?

We are not meant to “get through” the seasons God brings us through, we are meant to thrive and grow closer to Jesus in EACH one.

Fortunately I have some pretty awesome friends that contributed some ways to meet God during their season of busy motherhood. These ideas are not intended to add burdens or “shoulds,” but to provide some new ideas for running this spiritual sprint when we have been used to running marathons.

Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your busy day. Most do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time.

Bible reading

Keep Bibles in every room in your house (and car)–open or bookmarked–to be able to pick up if you have a random moment or two

Listen to the audio version of the Bible or a sermon while you are cooking dinner or in your car

Tape 3 X 5 cards or post-it notes with Bible verses anywhere you spend a lot of time

Download a Bible reading plan using the YouVersion App on your Smartphone

Read your Bible in front of your kids

Have your kids begin 5 minute “quiet times” in the morning where they can listen to a Bible story on CD (like The Jesus Storybook Bible) while you read yours

Visit Hobby Lobby and get a few wall hangings with Scripture verses to hang in strategic spots

Concentrate on a verse or paragraph a week, then move on to the next verse or paragraph once you feel like you’ve soaked in what you can of that one

Read your Bible while you are brushing your teeth or blow-drying your hair

Prayer

Pick something repetitive in your day that will prompt you to pray (I once read that someone prayed every time their child laughed!)

Write out prayers in a journal

Set a timer for 10 minutes and pray during the first few minutes of nap time if your kids nap

Keep a prayer journal in your kitchen and pray for the next item on the list when you have a moment (a friend of mine puts names on tongue compressors and the kids pick one before a meal to pray for)

Say 3 word prayers–make each word count!

Pray while exercising or aloud while taking your kids for a walk in the stroller (if you put your headphones on, people will just think you’re talking on your phone)
Download an app to keep track of prayer requests and send you reminders to pray

Community

Prioritize meeting up with a friend to go on a walk, to coffee or run early in the morning (without kids) on a regular basis

Call one spiritually encouraging friend a week

Join a weekly women’s Bible study. Many like BSF, CBS and Precepts have childcare and some have wonderful programs for your children to learn the Bible as well

Join a mom’s group like MOPS

Go to church consistently (even if you are standing in the back with a baby in a baby wrap) and talk to at least one person afterwards (even if your kids are melting down)

Join an online Bible study

Read Books

Read books on your phone through Kindle or Play Books–while you are brushing your teeth, before bed, or whenever else you have a spare minute (a friend of mine only uses a separate Kindle because she finds she ends up getting distracted if she reads on her phone)

Read through a daily devotional like My Utmost for His Highest, or find one using the YouVersion app on your phone

Spiritual Disciplines While Nursing
Ok, to be honest, I spent my fair share of time nursing while watching TV or going on Facebook on my phone, but here are a few ideas that I did occasionally that I wish I had done more often in the almost three years total I have spent nursing a baby:

Think of your loss of sleep as “sleep fasting”–and just like fasting, resist the urge to announce to everyone you meet how little sleep you got! God will reward to your sacrifice, sister.

Read spiritual books or your Bible on your phone (dangerous for me because I get distracted)

Pray for your children (one friend would pray prayers connected to the five senses of her children) and for anything else that is on your heart for the duration of your nursing

When Your Kids Stop Napping
Have them start a “quiet time” in their rooms. Check out this article.

Music

Songs are usually only 3 to 5 minutes: sit down to listen and mediate on a song

Read, then sing through songs in a hymnal (they usually have really rich spiritual messages)

Listen to worship music in your house or car (I like to listen while I’m in the shower or cooking dinner)

Sing worship songs with your children and before praying for meals

Have family dance parties to worship music

Write It Out

Post-it Notes for: prayer requests, quotes, Bible verses, words for meditation, people to pray for and anything else you need to jot down

Journal: one of my friends writes just one sentence every night just so she can keep track of the days. Personally, journaling for me has saved us thousands of dollars in counseling. I mostly write prayers, what I’m learning and anything that happened that is out of the ordinary.

Take Five
During some time when your kids are sleeping or being watched by someone else, set a timer and sit quietly with your eyes closed for five minutes. Try to breathe evenly and if you think of anything at all, maybe mediate on one verse, phrase or name of God until the timer goes off.

Ordinary Moments
We talked about this yesterday, but here are some practical ways to be intentional about these:

Point out cool, interesting or beautiful details to your children and give praise to God with them for them
Take a picture and tag it #distractedbybeauty on Facebook or Instagram (a friend of mine has been doing this and I love what she finds)
Drive, walk, or run slower than you usually do and look for something to marvel at
Keep an on-going list of things that you are thankful for, either on a piece of paper or on a chalkboard at home and pray over the list whenever you see it

I hope that you are able to use some of these ideas to grow in your relationship with the Lord during this busy season of life. If you are new to the series, be sure to start from the beginning and read the previous posts listed below.

Which of these would you like to implement in your daily life?

What do you think God is trying to teach you in the season of life that you are in?

Check out all the other posts in this series:

Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Resources:
How to Make Time for a Consistent Prayer Life

Spiritual Circle Journal, described in this article, Morning Quiet Time for Busy Moms

Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your busy day. Most do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time.

Linking up with Mommy Moments and Momma Moments Mondays and Velvet Ashes

December 4, 2015January 13, 2017

Day 4: Ordinary Moments {7 Days of Soul Rest}

I have always loved the book, 14,000 Things To Be Happy About, because it reminds me to pay attention and to be grateful for the little things. I have added two pages from the book below, so I challenge you to read and try not to smile and nod as you realize that you, too, love some of those details of life.

For this post, I’m going to step back and let you drink in some wise words from four of my friends. I thought it was interesting that many of them hit on the same truth: meet God in the ordinary, right where you are.

We are learning that for soul rest to happen, we don’t need to escape our lives, but we do need to retrain ourselves to use thankfulness as a trigger for worship as we meet God in the ordinary.

My first friend, with 3 children, shared:

“I am being challenged to keep my ears open throughout the day for ‘kairos’ moments. These are moments where God breaks through into time and space to get my attention. Whether through something my kids say to me, circumstances that surround me or whatever other way the Holy Spirit stops my heart in its tracks and makes me pay attention to what He wants to say.

It makes me uncomfortable to say that this is just what I need at this stage of my life because I don’t have as much time to focus on Scripture as the main way that I hear from God…but I know that the years that I spent studying God’s word, hours at a time, are what the Spirit is now using to guide my thinking as I submit it to Him throughout the day.”

A second friend of 3 said:

“Make every decision every day with Him in mind. Serving Jesus is not easy, but it is rewarding for your soul. When you change the fifth poopy diaper of the day, do it with Jesus in mind. Think: he’s called me to this servant position. He’s called me to serve my children in this way.

When you switch your focus, it’s like finding instant rest…or at least it usually is for me.

When I stop worrying about what I’m accomplishing during the day and instead stop and think about what Jesus wants me to accomplish, it’s a game-changer. Thinking this way always makes me stop and think about my attitude first. If my house is clean but my attitude is lousy, what am I teaching my children? What am I accomplishing for Jesus? Nothing. But if I have a good attitude, I usually end up accomplishing a lot, and my kids aren’t collateral damage, plus I end up feeling “at peace” with my day instead of regretting the angry words I yelled at my kids. For me, thinking this way just changes my whole outlook.

I know that there is no humanly possible way for me to accomplish even life basics and still have time for actual quiet rest at this stage of parenting.

So instead, I look at Jesus. Take his burden. Ask Him to help me see what he wants me to do in each situation–even if that means choosing something that seems uncomfortable or hard. It’s always rewarding in the end.”

My third friend, with 9 children, shared:

“I am giving myself freedom to enjoy this season of walking with Christ. Here are some beautiful and helpful words from Jen Wilkins’s book Women of the Word:

‘…any number of circumstances can usher us into a season where time with our Bibles happens in stolen moments at irregular intervals…for me, these seasons have sometimes lasted for years…some months, just keeping body and soul together for myself and my family seemed to occupy almost every waking moment…they deepened my desire for study…

Give the Lord what you can and trust that he will honor your faithfulness in the small things. Trust that the Lord knows your circumstances better than you do and that he sees your desire to learn and grow. And trust that those times are being used to mature you – to teach you that it is a privilege to be able to devote yourself to learning and studying and to write more deeply on your heart the truths you have already learned.'”

My doctor friend said:

“I find spiritual growth really hard because the mornings are so rushed and early getting up with the kids and also getting out the door for work. I try to find time either during my lunch break at work or during nap time on my days off to read and pray. It is really hard though, and I often feel pretty spiritually tired.

I feel like God often speaks to me through interactions with my kids, friends, or a verse.

One thing He is teaching me, too, is to give myself grace and not fret about not being able to have long quiet times–He can speak through the chaos/busyness of life.”

I met God through the gift of this sunrise one morning when my kids were up at the crack of dawn (literally).

I have been reading through the book, Wonderstruck, by Margaret Feinberg. She asks,

“What are the wonders of God in your own life that you fail to marvel or even sleep straight through? How often do you pass by God’s presence and handiwork unaware?”

Later, she says,

“And so I prayed for wonder. Palms extended, wide-eyed with expectation, I waited for an answer. And God did not disappoint. For me, a prayer for wonder asks the Lord to expand my capacity to see and savor the divine gifts all around…I still relish the striking and curious ways…God employed to alert me to the beauty awaiting in the most mundane moments of life.”

Lord Jesus, we pray that you would meet us in the ordinary and in the mundane. Please open our eyes to the beauty that is already all around us and teach us to use those divine details as a trigger for worship. Show us how to abide in You and find our rest in You and You alone.

Resources:
Psalm 19

Four Ways You Can Create a Life of Awe and Wonder

One Thousand Gifts: A Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are, by Ann Voskamp

Do you have any other resources to add to this list? How do you meet God in the ordinary?

Check out all the other posts in this series:

       Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Linking up with Faith-Filled Fridays and Literacy Musing Mondays

December 2, 2015January 13, 2017

Day 2: Moms are not Monks {7 Days of Soul Rest}

Henri Nouwen, Francis of Assisi, Augustine, John of the Cross, and Theresa of Avila are some of my spiritual heroes, but since becoming a mother, I find myself thinking Yeah, must be nice to have so much time to spend time with God. Though moms do keep night vigils and do manual labor, our commonalities end around there.

As a married woman with two children, I have been on the search for words on rest from someone who did not have 12 hours a day to saturate themselves in prayer and Bible study because sometimes all I have is 10…minutes, that is.

Though I know you don’t need convincing that rest is something you want, I do hope to convince you that it is something you need.

Why rest?

Jesus knew the value of rest, often escaping for time with the Lord and encouraging His disciples to do the same. The Old Testament is also full of promises for the weary. But for some reason, our culture attaches guilt and shame with rest. We apologize for reading a book, taking a nap or needing time alone.

But the type of rest Jesus describes is the rest that infuses all of life with greater strength and meaning. When we pray, we become centered on the eternal. When we read the Bible, we are reading a book that is living and applicable right now to whatever we are experiencing. When we sit still and listen, we are reminded that we are not alone. This kind of soul rest fuels all the other work that we do in a day.

Madeleine L’Engle said, “When I am constantly running there is no time for being. When there is no time for being there is no time for listening” (Walking on Water, pg. 13). And we need to be hearing from God during this season of life where we are responsible for caring for the soul of another human being.

Rest is a need, not a want.

But how can we find the soul rest we really need when we have so little time (and energy)?

Recently, an older and wiser mother challenged me to “lower my standards when it comes to spirituality.” She gently pointed out that perfectionism is doing nothing for my walk with Christ. Though I balked at the accusation, I also realized that she was right.

I am a spiritual perfectionist.

I got married at 31 after many years of singleness where I was used to spending at least an hour a day journaling, reading the Bible and praying. Marriage and The Narrowing made that old expectation an impossibility and so I entered motherhood thinking that if I couldn’t have an hour long quiet time or at least 30 minutes, I wouldn’t even sit down to try because it wasn’t “spiritual enough.”

So it is not surprising that it is year three of motherhood and I feel spiritually dehydrated.

Here are a few adjustments I’m realizing I need to make to find the nourishment my soul needs in a season of life that is so demanding.

First of all, we must accept that we are not monks. As moms, we must change our expectations for the quality and quantity of our time spent with God and let go of perfectionism when it comes to spirituality (and, let’s be honest, everything else!).

In this post, Margaret Feinberg points out that “Jesus extends the invitation to come away. In Mark 6:31, Jesus instructs His followers to “Come away by yourselves to a lonely place and rest for a while.” The word oligos in the Greek that’s translated “a while” actually means “little, small, few”. I love this detail! Because it means God can do great things with only a sliver of time.”

We need to learn to do the most with the little slivers of time that we have in a day, and not just wait until we have a large enough chunk, because that time will most likely never come.

We need to retrain our minds to do spiritual sprints instead of spiritual marathons.

The next few days, I’ll be sharing some creative ideas my friends and I came up with for doing the most with what you’ve got in terms of time and energy level.

We need to retrain our minds to do spiritual sprints instead of spiritual marathons." www.scrapingraisins.blogspot.com

But along with shifting my expectations of how and when I will pursue God, I also need to plan ahead.

For example, I don’t usually feel inspired to cook a meal at 5 pm if I have given it no forethought, but I have found that if I plan to cook something, buy the vegetables and pull the meat out ahead of time to defrost, the meal is much more likely to get cooked. A plan sets things in motion.

We always plan for what is important to us, so why should spirituality be any different? We love the mountain top moments with arms raised, eyes streaming with tears of joy and a burning heart, but if we are honest, we know that we live in the plains and not on the mountain tops, so we should make our travel plans with our scenery in mind.

How can I seek God during the slivers of “alone” time in my day, during: kid’s naps, car rides, showering, putting on make-up, cooking, brushing my teeth or waiting on a toddler to put on his shoes?

There are 1440 minutes in a day. 1440. Could I spare 5, 10, or 15 minutes of those minutes a day to seek soul rest and a deeper relationship with Jesus?

I need to have plans and contingency plans for seeking God throughout my day.

Finally, the same wise older mama (as well as a few other friends), have reminded me to give myself grace in this chapter of my life. God loves us and sees all our attempts at holiness and accepts them just as a loving father accepts the precious “gifts” a toddler might hand to him.

I am also realizing that my years studying the Bible as a single woman created a reservoir that I am now benefiting from as a married woman with limited time. If you are single, feed the reservoir. You will certainly need it one day–if not for marriage, during other hectic times of your life where you do not have the time or energy to pursue the Lord.

In the next few days, we’ll be discussing practical ways to maximize the time you do have in order to find the soul rest you are longing for. I get you, weary mama. I’m writing this just as much for myself as for you. Sign up for emails if you want to be sure not to miss the next few days. Check out yesterday’s post if you missed it and come back tomorrow to find permission for self care.

How have your expectations had to shift as you have become a mother?
Do you struggle with being a perfectionist? In what ways?
How can you plan ahead to spend time in prayer and the Word?
In what areas do you need to give yourself grace?

Check out all the other posts in this series:

       Introduction to the Series
       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest
       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks
       Day 3: Permission for Self Care
       Day 4: Ordinary Moments
       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times
       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat
       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Related articles:
Ashley Hale’s Write 31 Days Series: Letters to Weary Women

A great blog series: 31 Hats Mom Wears

Linking up with Mommy Moments

November 29, 2015January 13, 2017

Introduction to the Series: 7 Days of Soul Rest

Thirsty. Tired. Weary. That is how I would describe my soul thus far during this chapter of my life. In the past three years of being a mother, I have struggled to find the true kind of soul rest I used to know. At the risk of sounding whiny or ungrateful, I‘m pulling the transparency card in the case that you, too, can relate.

But it is time for me to take my search for water more seriously and I need a little accountability and a lot of community.

Mostly, I want to be back in constant touch with the Source of this water, Jesus Christ.

I am writing this series in search of answers, ideas, wisdom, inspiration and perspective because my soul longs for the kind of rest that goes deeper than just a spa day.

For help, I have enlisted several friends to contribute their wisdom over the next 7 days. All are moms in their 30’s and are women I respect for their deep relationship with Jesus.

Meet some of my friends:

My gentle friend from Kansas is the mom of 3 children between the ages of 6 months and 4 years

My analytical friend from Michigan is the mom of 3 children between the ages of 4 months and 6 years

My kind friend from Wisconsin is the mom of 9 children (yes, 9!), between the ages of 3 months and 13 years

My disciplined friend from Alabama is the mom of 2 children, ages 1 and 3

My passionate friend from Missouri is the mom of one step son, age 18 and 3 biological children between the ages of 2 and 8
My wise friend from Illinois is the mom of 4 children between the ages of 2 and 8

In the mix? A homeschooling mom or two, some evangelicals and a Catholic, a personal trainer, a teacher, a doctor, and a mom in full-time ministry. Though they all live in different states and only a few know each other, all had some inspiring ideas about following Jesus.

Their profound words and advice will be scattered throughout these posts and I know that you will be blessed by them just as I have been.

Here’s what you can expect over the next 7 days, beginning on December 1st:

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest
       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks
       Day 3: Permission for Self Care
       Day 4: Ordinary Moments
       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times
       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat
       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

These posts will be geared towards encouraging moms of little ones in a season of life that can feel like Jesus is constantly asking too much of us, but I am sure that anyone seeking soul rest will benefit since the truths and principles we discuss are timeless. In addition to talking about the Source of our soul rest, we‘ll discuss practical ways to pray, spend time in the Word, have a healthy lifestyle, plan a personal retreat and implement Sabbath practices during seasons when we feel weary.

I would love to hear your experiences each day in the comments. In fact, I am prepared to bribe you to comment (although I am learning they call these “giveaways” in the blogging world). If you leave a comment or subscribe during the duration of this series, I will draw three names the day after the last post is published and the winners will receive a code for a free audio book download.

I am certainly not an expert on this subject, so I would love to hear of any other resources such as books, blog posts, articles or websites you know of on this topic. I will share some that I have run across as well.

To follow along each day, you can subscribe in the upper right corner and these posts will go directly to your email inbox. Otherwise, you can return to this intro page or find the “7 Days of Soul Rest” page at the top of the website and the latest post will be linked to the table of contents.

Okay, sisters (though weary brothers are welcome, too), let’s begin this journey together.

I pray that we would find true rest for our souls as we seek Christ together.

“You will seek me and find me when you search for me with all your heart.” Jer. 29:13

Linking up with Sitting Among Friends

November 27, 2015January 13, 2017

Running: Soul Rest and Slowness

Running, for me, is rest. I am moving. I am outside (hopefully in nature and sunshine). And I am alone. This is when my brain works out its kinks and my mind becomes clear enough to pray. Lately, I come home from a run and scramble for a pen and paper to jot down the words that have sprung to my mind (ahem, the raisins that were “scraped” free).

I am not a fast runner, but I run every other day for about three miles each time. I notice a considerable shift in my mood if I don’t have this time to run or if I miss several days in a row.

Running is my therapy.

People always say that they don’t have time to run, but exercise is the type of priority that pushes out something or someone else: time in the mornings lounging with family, commutes home from work (in Chicago, I used to run a portion of my train ride home from working in Chinatown) and sleep. But the benefits of running far outweigh those moments I may miss.

When I first started running, I would run for 5 minutes at a time. Then 6, then 7 until I had built up to a time that was manageable for my schedule. I usually tell people who are interested in getting into running to begin like this with 5 minutes, adding a minute each time–or choose a very close landmark, like a city block or run to that next stop sign or tree. My mom started running this way 7 years ago and got addicted. Last year she ran the Chicago Marathon at age 61.

No matter where I have lived in the world, I have at least attempted to run. In college, sometimes it was at midnight in a “safe,” dark suburb. In Uganda, it was at dawn before all the gawkers came out of their houses to watch the white muzungu run in her skirt. In China, it was out of the city and through farms with houses made of mud and some homes carved into the sides of hills.

In Chicago, it was along gem-like Lake Michigan with sailboats dotting the horizon in summer and ice rising into mammoth sculptures along the fringe of the lake in winter. And now, in Colorado, I run in the foothills on a dusty path decorated with small mounds that I eventually realized belong to prairie dogs, who scuttle along from mound to mound, squeaking my arrival to one another.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I ran until I was 30 weeks along, eventually overcoming the embarrassment about what people might be thinking about me. But by my second pregnancy, I no longer had the ability to be self-conscious and ran until I was 36 weeks along, my gait shifting to the weight of my bulging belly. Each time after birth, I couldn’t wait until the doctor gave me the go-ahead to get back outside and begin to move again.

I would much rather run in a new place than drive or bike, because my slower pace allows me to observe life on a larger scale.

Having two tiny children in tow all day has forced me to slow my pace in this chapter of my life. You cannot hurry through life when you are waiting on a toddler. They put on socks, find shoes, pick up toys, climb into car seats, leave the park, or eat their food in their own sweet time, with no concern for their parent’s schedules.

The past three years I admit I have fought hard against this slowness.

But perhaps God wants to enlarge my view of Him as I take in life at this uncomfortably slow pace?

Instead of seeing less of the world, I am actually seeing more. I now see daily life through the eyes of my children as through a giant magnifying glass. My son is helping me re-learn how to be a noticer: the black and orange boxelder bug defying gravity on the wall, pine needles staining brown lines on the back porch, the smell of cut grass on a walk and hundreds of geese wings beating the air overhead. My son points them out, rejoicing over every detail. Details that I might have missed.

Having children has forced me to slow down and this, too, has been its own kind of soul rest.

Running, on a very practical level, is soul rest to me, but my children set my pace in this season of life and I can choose to either fight the slowness or enjoy the scenery as we mosey on our way.

How do you define “soul rest”? What kinds of activities help you feel this kind of rest? If you are a parent, what have your children pointed out to you this week that you would not have noticed otherwise?

Over the next week, I am going to be sharing a series, “7 Days of Soul Rest.” Please be sure to subscribe to receive posts by email so you won’t miss any!

Category: Soul Rest