Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms {7 Days of Soul Rest}

My friend and her family have decided to observe the Sabbath (called Shabbat in Hebrew) more formally and make this longer pause a part of the rhythm of their lives.  Here is a bit of her experience.


Every life pulsates with rhythm.  Schedules of sleeping, eating and relating vary according to culture, but all people fall into rhythm of some kind.

And every musical rhythm must contain rests, or pauses, where the beat stops beating, even if just for a moment.

What are some of the natural pauses that already exist in the rhythm of your life right now?

In the United States, the larger rhythms of life might look like the school calendar, with rest for children during summer and winter break.  It also may include the 8 to 10 hour work day, with weekends off and church on Sundays.  But our rhythms can also be dictated by the church calendar of Advent, Lent and other holy days. 

The rhythms of a working parent may include pauses during a commute or lunch break and a stay-at-home parent may have brief pauses to nurse a baby or while a child naps.  Pauses may be at prayers before meals and bed or alongside other family traditions.  Those without children or with older children may have extended morning pauses, while parents of littles may have extended pauses in evenings if their children sleep early.

If we are serious about finding true soul rest, we need to be realistic with our goals.  One of the easiest ways to do this is to insert intentional rest into the natural pauses that already exist in our lives.

The purpose is not to fill these pauses with more “doing,” but to retrain ourselves to extend them into space to “be.”  Take naps.  Space out instead of pulling out your phone in the checkout line.  Exercise outside without music or headphones.  Walk slower than feels natural.  Drive in silence (if you don’t have kids shrieking in your car like I do).  Go to bed absurdly early.  Spend an extra three minutes in the shower.  

Extend your pauses. 

We also need to transform the natural pauses of our lives into sacred moments. 

What does this look like practically? 

Here’s an example of what not to do.  Today after I dropped the kids off at the nursery at church and made my way back to my husband for the service, I spent the majority of the service distracted, scribbling notes for this post on my bulletin.  The songs were words, not worship; and communion was bread and juice, not the body and blood.  My physical body was there, but my mind was not.  And I missed out.  This was a rare hour that I could have been meeting with Jesus, but because I was not intentional about using this time to seek Him, I missed out on making this a sacred pause in my week. 

And I desperately needed that kind of soul rest.

So to follow my own advice, I need to prepare myself for pauses.  Closing our eyes is a gift.  By moving tiny muscles in our face, we can physically tune out all that is around us.  I need to learn how to utilize this very basic gift of God to reclaim these pauses and transform them into sacred moments with the Lord.  In church, I can close my eyes when I enter and ask for help to focus.   

Most of the time, we don’t need to change our entire rhythm, but only to extend or capture the pauses we already have and make them sacred, but occasionally we need to allow God to rewrite the rhythm of our days to include pauses that weren’t there before.  

My friend and her family have decided to observe the Sabbath (called Shabbat in Hebrew) more formally and make this longer pause a part of the rhythm of their lives.  Here is a bit of her experience.:

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We celebrate Shabbat from Friday night sundown to Saturday sundown. We do this to join in the thousands of years people have celebrated it at this time. We have tried to set Shabbat apart by cleaning up before Friday night (which somehow makes cleaning more purposeful and enjoyable for me), making a fancy dinner and inviting guests over. 

We often light candles before dinner and say/sing a blessing. We often sing the Shema and take communion.  It is the time when we enjoy our bridegroom and He enjoys us as His bride as it is often said that Shabbat is like preparing for a king or the wedding of the bridegroom.

Shabbat is as much about delight as it is about rest.

On the seventh day God took delight in all he had created. It is a time to reflect on how God delights in us and all creation and we get to enter into that and delight with Him.

Along the lines of delight and celebration, we try to save any desserts for Shabbat so that we see Shabbat as a delight! We have desserts Friday night and often a big breakfast Saturday morning with chocolate chip pancakes.

One of the keys for us with Shabbat is to make it ‘holy’ and set apart from other days, so we do rest from regular work.  At the end of the Saturday night sundown, the house is usually a mess with dishes piled up and toys spread all around. Sometimes it takes discipline to not clean up, but by the end of Shabbat it is funny how you have new motivation to clean since you were trying not to. We also take time to pray, dance to worship music, play games, read Scriptures and go on walks. It is about ‘being’ with family and friends as we delight in God and His creation.

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This has been such a challenging week.  I hope that it has been for you, too.  If you are new to the series, be sure to read the previous posts on soul rest listed below.  Personally, I am going to take a reverse Sabbath and rest over the next six days before posting another blog post on the seventh day, so if you don’t hear from me, know that I am trying to practice what I preach (though I will be in contact with the winners of the audio book giveaway by Tuesday afternoon–you can still have a chance if you subscribe to emails or comment before Tuesday morning!).

My Goals for Soul Rest

  • Observe the Sabbath as my friend did during the month of January
  • Plan a personal retreat next year
  • Stop pulling out my phone to “kill time” when I could use that time to pray or just “be” 
  • Choose one Bible verse to focus on each week (baby steps)
  • Be intentional about extending and using the pauses that already exist in my life to rest and seek God
  • Read and drink tea for 20 minutes a day, ideally while my children nap


A beautiful word I came across recently is fermata.  It is a long rest in the middle of a piece of music, like a sigh.  I pray you will allow Christ to carry your heavy load and rest in the sweet sigh of His freedom from doing because the most important work has already been done on the cross.  Rest, weary one, rest.  Let Him carry you.        

“Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you” (Psalm 116:7).

“Find rest, O my soul, in God alone; my hope comes from Him.  He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will not be shaken” (Psalm 62: 5-6).


What are a few goals you have for implementing rest into your day, week, month or year this coming year?   

Resources
The Sabbath Society: a society of women committed to observing the Sabbath each week

25 Encouraging Scriptures for Rest and Relaxation

Start Small, Start With Sabbath, by Sarah Bessey


If this is your first visit to 7 Days of Soul Rest, be sure to read through the previous posts listed below.  Please introduce yourself in the comments–I’d love to hear your story!

Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms

Linking up with #WholeMama 

Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat {7 Days of Soul Rest}

Today, I have asked my wise friend with 4 children under the age of 8 to share her experience going on a yearly personal retreat.


Jesus was busy.  Crowds to feed, people to heal, multitudes to teach, the dead to raise, angry mobs to dodge, disciples to reprimand/encourage and religious leaders to baffle, not to mention a world to save.  Jesus always had something going on.

And yet.

Have you ever done a study in Mark on the amount of times Jesus steals away to secluded areas to be with His Father? 

So why should we be any different?

Today, I have asked my wise friend with 4 children under the age of 8 to share her experience going on a yearly personal retreat.  Though you may think it is impossible at this stage of life (whatever stage you are in), this friend is proof that it is not only possible, but necessary to get away.  She usually went away when she was no longer nursing, but pregnant with her next child, leaving her other children home for the weekend with her husband. 

Here are some of her reflections on having a personal retreat:

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The two most important factors for me in planning a retreat are location and reading material.

My husband did some research and found a retreat center run by Franciscans not far from our home. The accommodations are comfortable, food good, price right, and the chapel is open 24 hours a day. I schedule a two night, private, silent retreat, which basically means that I do my own thing and no one bothers me.  

I think in Evangelical/Protestant circles, it is probably more difficult to find a place that understands the private, silent retreat concept. Usually a retreat means going with a group of people for speakers, fellowship, and fun. So for those really intent on retreating alone with God, it is worth looking into Catholic retreat centers where they are used to individuals coming by themselves, to be left alone with God. 

For my reading material, I usually bring something light but uplifting to read (a recent choice was Hannah Coulter by Wendell Barry, for example) and then a substantive book about the spiritual life (something by Henri Nouwen or Jean Vanier are some recognizable names) and my Bible. And then a journal. I try to keep it at that so I don’t get distracted, and my spiritual reading choice aligns with what I want to focus my retreat on.

There are some rigorous ways to retreat, but for me, part of the beauty lies in the physical rest I experience, which then feeds the spiritual work I do. 

In college I was lamenting to my dad once that sometimes I fall asleep during prayer. His simple response was to shrug and say, “Well, I guess God thinks you needed to rest!” 

I don’t follow a set schedule aside from attending Mass, confession, and meals. I just alternate between sleeping, reading, praying, journaling, light exercise, and sitting in the presence of God quietly. Very simple indeed! 

And out of that cycle of activity/non-activity comes new resolutions, Scripture to take home and continue to meditate on, things I need to fix or people I need to apologize to, and incredible soul rest. There is nothing quite like it. 

To experience sustained silence in an otherwise frenetic life, to create space for God to speak and to listen, it’s like stripping off all the layers I build up all year long.

Layers of what?

I can’t even describe…it’s like going outside your home after a snowfall and feeling that intense quiet as the snow absorbs the noise, and then at the same time looking around and seeing everything sparkling white. You don’t see the bush that needs trimming or the deck that needs repainting, just the clarity that the beauty brings to your senses. You know that the driveway will have to be shoveled and that in a minute you will be searching for that missing mitten, but for a moment all is in perfect perspective.

Interestingly, I often feel anxious before I go on retreat. I don’t look forward to being “alone” for that long, as if I have forgotten how to be by myself, or I am anxious about leaving the kids, etc. 

I am sometimes afraid of what God will uncover. 

And I am anxious about re-integration to life after those two days at the oasis because the adjustment is so abrupt.  But my husband pushes me out the door and I go. 

Because I know that I can’t recreate the soul rest at home (nor should I) and it benefits me and also my entire family.

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I’m so thankful to have my friend share today. Though most of our days will be straining to hear God’s voice in the noise, if Jesus even in His busyness prioritized getting away from the crowds to pray, then we do not need to feel guilty for doing the same. 

“We may rest fully assured of this: a man’s influence in the world can be gauged not by his eloquence or his zeal or his orthodoxy or his energy, but by his prayers…to be little with God in prayer is to be little for God in service.  Much secret prayer means much public power”  (The Kneeling Christian by Anonymous, p. 25).

Have you ever done a personal retreat?  What was your experience like?

What is keeping you from planning a retreat this year?

Resources:
Retreat Finder A great international directory to find Catholic retreat centers (but most of them you don’t have to be Catholic to have a personal retreat there).


If this is your first visit to 7 Days of Soul Rest, be sure to read through the previous posts listed below.  Please introduce yourself in the comments–I’d love to hear your story!

Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms


Linking up with Velvet Ashes

Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times {7 Days of Soul Rest}

Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your day, most of which do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time.


My kids have magical powers.  I’ve tested it.  Every morning, I tiptoe downstairs while they are sleeping (unless they’ve already woken us up at 5 am, of course) and the second that I sit down and take my first sip of coffee, THEY KNOW. 

They are also currently on a sleep strike from napping.  So soul rest for me today took the form of strapping my two kids in the car at 3 pm after over an hour of not sleeping and driving up into the mountains so they could nap.  It took them about 5 minutes until they were out.  

God knew I needed that time alone in the car.  In the quiet, he reminded me of some things.

When traveling to another country, good practice is to alter your attitude when you encounter strange aspects of that culture and think, This isn’t better or worse than my culture, it’s just different.

I’m finding that in encountering new seasons of life, it is helpful to take the same attitude:

This isn’t better or worse, just different.

But instead of accepting that this season of life is just different, I have been fighting it.  I often think I just need to hold on until more ideal circumstances for Bible Study and prayer return.  But just as it is unrealistic to wish for snow in the middle of summer or tulips in the fall, it is immature for me to wish for an hour-long quiet time in the morning in this season where my kids wake up at 5:30 am.  Instead of fighting it like a toddler, I need to find out how I can grow not in spite of, but in the midst of this season.

“In acceptance lieth peace,” Amy Carmichael writes. 

Today, I feel like I surrendered my toddler-like attitude about my life and accepted that God wants to meet me where I am–in slivers of time, tired attempts to read His Word, mundane moments and scrambled prayers for patience and strength. 

I love how my friend with 9 children said she is “giving herself freedom to enjoy this season of walking with Christ.” 

Am I enjoying my season?  Are you enjoying yours?  Are you giving yourself freedom?

We are not meant to “get through” the seasons God brings us through, we are meant to thrive and grow closer to Jesus in EACH one.

Fortunately I have some pretty awesome friends that contributed some ways to meet God during their season of busy motherhood.  These ideas are not intended to add burdens or “shoulds,” but to provide some new ideas for running this spiritual sprint when we have been used to running marathons. 

Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your busy day. Most do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time. 

Bible reading

  • Keep Bibles in every room in your house (and car)–open or bookmarked–to be able to pick up if you have a random moment or two 
  • Listen to the audio version of the Bible or a sermon while you are cooking dinner or in your car
  • Tape 3 X 5 cards or post-it notes with Bible verses anywhere you spend a lot of time
  • Download a Bible reading plan using the YouVersion App on your Smartphone
  • Read your Bible in front of your kids
  • Have your kids begin 5 minute “quiet times” in the morning where they can listen to a Bible story on CD (like The Jesus Storybook Bible) while you read yours
  • Visit Hobby Lobby and get a few wall hangings with Scripture verses to hang in strategic spots
  • Concentrate on a verse or paragraph a week, then move on to the next verse or paragraph once you feel like you’ve soaked in what you can of that one
  • Read your Bible while you are brushing your teeth or blow-drying your hair
Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your day, most of which do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time.

Prayer

  • Pick something repetitive in your day that will prompt you to pray (I once read that someone prayed every time their child laughed!)
  • Write out prayers in a journal
  • Set a timer for 10 minutes and pray during the first few minutes of nap time if your kids nap
  • Keep a prayer journal in your kitchen and pray for the next item on the list when you have a moment (a friend of mine puts names on tongue compressors and the kids pick one before a meal to pray for)
  • Say 3 word prayers–make each word count!
  • Pray while exercising or aloud while taking your kids for a walk in the stroller (if you put your headphones on, people will just think you’re talking on your phone)
  • Download an app to keep track of prayer requests and send you reminders to pray


Community

  • Prioritize meeting up with a friend to go on a walk, to coffee or run early in the morning (without kids) on a regular basis
  • Call one spiritually encouraging friend a week
  • Join a weekly women’s Bible study.  Many like BSF, CBS and Precepts have childcare and some have wonderful programs for your children to learn the Bible as well
  • Join a mom’s group like MOPS
  • Go to church consistently (even if you are standing in the back with a baby in a baby wrap) and talk to at least one person afterwards (even if your kids are melting down)
  • Join an online Bible study


Read Books

  • Read books on your phone through Kindle or Play Books–while you are brushing your teeth, before bed, or whenever else you have a spare minute (a friend of mine only uses a separate Kindle because she finds she ends up getting distracted if she reads on her phone)
  • Read through a daily devotional like My Utmost for His Highest, or find one using the YouVersion app on your phone


Spiritual Disciplines While Nursing
Ok, to be honest, I spent my fair share of time nursing while watching TV or going on Facebook on my phone, but here are a few ideas that I did occasionally that I wish I had done more often in the almost three years total I have spent nursing a baby:

  • Think of your loss of sleep as “sleep fasting”–and just like fasting, resist the urge to announce to everyone you meet how little sleep you got! God will reward to your sacrifice, sister.
  • Read spiritual books or your Bible on your phone (dangerous for me because I get distracted)
  • Pray for your children (one friend would pray prayers connected to the five senses of her children) and for anything else that is on your heart for the duration of your nursing


When Your Kids Stop Napping
Have them start a “quiet time” in their rooms.  Check out this article.

Music

  • Songs are usually only 3 to 5 minutes: sit down to listen and mediate on a song
  • Read, then sing through songs in a hymnal (they usually have really rich spiritual messages)
  • Listen to worship music in your house or car (I like to listen while I’m in the shower or cooking dinner)
  • Sing worship songs with your children and before praying for meals
  • Have family dance parties to worship music


Write It Out

  • Post-it Notes for: prayer requests, quotes, Bible verses, words for meditation, people to pray for and anything else you need to jot down
  • Journal:  one of my friends writes just one sentence every night just so she can keep track of the days.  Personally, journaling for me has saved us thousands of dollars in counseling.  I mostly write prayers, what I’m learning and anything that happened that is out of the ordinary.


Take Five
During some time when your kids are sleeping or being watched by someone else, set a timer and sit quietly with your eyes closed for five minutes.  Try to breathe evenly and if you think of anything at all, maybe mediate on one verse, phrase or name of God until the timer goes off.

Ordinary Moments
We talked about this yesterday, but here are some practical ways to be intentional about these:

  • Point out cool, interesting or beautiful details to your children and give praise to God with them for them
  • Take a picture and tag it #distractedbybeauty on Facebook or Instagram (a friend of mine has been doing this and I love what she finds)
  • Drive, walk, or run slower than you usually do and look for something to marvel at
  • Keep an on-going list of things that you are thankful for, either on a piece of paper or on a chalkboard at home and pray over the list whenever you see it


I hope that you are able to use some of these ideas to grow in your relationship with the Lord during this busy season of life.  If you are new to the series, be sure to start from the beginning and read the previous posts listed below.

Which of these would you like to implement in your daily life?

What do you think God is trying to teach you in the season of life that you are in?

Check out all the other posts in this series:

Introduction to the Series

       Day 1: Three Secrets of Soul Rest

       Day 2: Moms Are Not Monks

       Day 3: Permission for Self Care

       Day 4: Ordinary Moments

       Day 5: Creative Spirituality for Busy Times

       Day 6: Planning a Personal Retreat

       Day 7: Sabbath Rhythms


Resources:
How to Make Time for a Consistent Prayer Life

Spiritual Circle Journal, described in this article, Morning Quiet Time for Busy Moms

Here are some ideas for connecting with God throughout your busy day. Most do not require more than 5 or 10 minutes at a time.

Linking up with Mommy Moments and Momma Moments Mondays and Velvet Ashes

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