Who wouldn’t want to be heaven’s hero? Why would anyone willingly choose the “white picket fence” life over an exotic life guaranteed to be exciting and eternally meaningful? And if giving up everything to move across the world is clearly more holy, why would anyone claiming to love Jesus choose anything less?
That’s what I used to think, so I was delighted to find I wasn’t alone.
Amy Peterson’s debut book, Dangerous Territory: My Misguided Quest to Save the World, is a memoir about the two years she lived in Southeast Asia and the fallout she experienced after sharing her faith in a country closed to evangelism. With clarity, poetry and engaging story-telling, Amy chronicles the deconstruction and reconstruction of her faith after her idealism is obliterated.
With an academic background in intercultural studies, Amy weaves the history of missions and cultural analysis throughout the book, occasionally interrupting her narrative with fascinating essays about missions. Zooming out from her story during these brief interludes allows the reader to position Amy’s personal narrative into the larger picture puzzle of missions, past and present.
As a writer over fifteen years later, Amy regards her younger, idealistic self with the mercy of a wise mentor, neither criticizing nor judging, but sharing her thoughts as she remembers them. She gently offers her reader a glimpse into some fallacies young Jesus-followers can fall prey to. She also challenges many assumptions about Christian life, ministry and missions made by the church at large. Amy transparently shares her personal grief, loss, hope and doubt in hopes the reader will take her hand on the road and learn right along with her.
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Though I was sent to China instead of Southeast Asia, reading Amy’s book was like viewing a stranger through a window and mistaking her for myself. Our stories bear so much resemblance, Amy saved me hours I might have spent writing a very similar book.
I was with the same organization, lived in a very remote area with one teammate, completed the same masters program, spent time at the same places in Thailand during our yearly conference and had crushes on boys in my program (though not the same ones). I also walked away from my time overseas with more questions than answers. After five years in China, I—a goer with no intention of staying in the states–returned home to get married and give up my status as Church Darling. The missionary invitations, inquiries and special treatment stopped abruptly and—like Amy—I wondered, “What if God didn’t want me to be useful? Could I surrender to that? Was I willing to be useless for God?” (182).
It’s humbling to give up our “heaven’s hero” status when we feel we’re stepping into the status quo.
But I have come to similar conclusions in my quest for a special calling, purpose and meaningful life. Namely, that our calling begins and ends with love. Our first call isn’t to China, Africa, Southeast Asia, missions, marriage or motherhood. Our primary calling is to intimacy with Jesus Christ. All other callings will fade, shift, surge and grow through the seasons of our life, but that calling will sustain us for our entire lives and even beyond.
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If you or someone you know is interested in spending any amount of time overseas, I would highly recommend this book as a vulnerable account of a modern day twenty-something (not an overly-romanticized missionary biography), who left home with good intentions and returned with a greater awareness of the fact that she wasn’t loved more because she was willing to go, but began and ended as an adored child of God.
Or perhaps you feel that going abroad is only for the holy? Although Amy clearly had a strong faith, her story reveals that God doesn’t send heroes, he sends the ordinary. He sends the willing. And He sends them not to change the world, but to catch a glimpse of His love for the world first-hand. In her conclusion, Amy admonishes missionary-hopefuls: “Don’t go because you want to save the world—go because you want to learn to love it. Go because you know that you are loved” (217).
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I have an extra copy of Amy’s book that I would love to share with you! Leave a thoughtful comment on this post sometime between 2/7/17 and 2/14/17 (by midnight, U.S. Mountain Time) and I’ll enter you to win a free copy of Dangerous Territory. I’ll announce the winner on 2/15/17 and get it in the mail to you ASAP!
Have you ever been on a quest to save the world? How did that work out for you?
~Leslie
BUY THE BOOK HERE. (Right now it is only available on Kindle, but print copies should be available soon.)
This book sounds fascinating and exactly what I need.
Thanks for stopping by the blog!;-)
This sounds fascinating. I used to want to be a missionary too. In my case it was what my parents had done and I’d grown up “on the mission field,” a weird phrase in its non-specificity since in my case it was a place you’re probably not picturing: France. But I wanted to go to the Muslim world, because that was the hardest place, of course.
My parents always told me I didn’t have to be a missionary, from the very beginning. It was the rest of U.S. Christian culture that said I did… and the rest of U.S. culture that said I had to change the world, do something amazing, one way or another. I honestly think that’s the rub. I actually avoid the word “special” with my kid. I tell him I love him & like him & he’s my boy & “way to go, you did it”, etc… but “special” *literally* means set apart & better than other people. I don’t think being told this as kids was helpful to our generation. That’s my 2 cents.
Heather, I love your perspective and can really relate. I think you are so right that Christian culture has set apart missionaries as “special” and elevated them as the ultimate vocation if you really love God. Thanks so much for sharing some of your story here!
I’m on the board of a large counseling center and I’m assigned to the “Missionary Care Section” as their board representative. Yesterday, in a monthly meeting, MCS was discussing workshops they can offer to both people going and people sending. One, in particular, ties into this: How do we not elevate the call? How can we foster healthy identities in missionaries without having it tied to location so much?
Thanks Leslie for sharing this book!
The cover of this book is magnifient and amazing. I love it. I am sure I would enjoy reading this book 🙂